Drowning / SM

Chapter 73

- 2 weeks ago -

"I don't know, Cameron... I didn't see my brother in a week so I wasn't the one who brought him to the soccer club... I don't even know if he trained so I can't help you." I say, turning off the engine of my car. 

"Oh... Well, could we meet up somewhere this evening? Because I need to talk to you about something important..." He admits, probably scratching his neck and I sigh lightly. 

Pinching my nose line and closing my eyes, I accept but I already feel the tiredness overwhelming my body. 

I don't know what's going on with my body for a few weeks now but I'm weaker every day. Although Shawn is careful about what I eat and checks if I ate every single meal or not, it didn't change anything, it's even worse but I just keep acting like everything's good not to make him and Josh worry too much. 

"Yeah sure..." I say and I get out of the car with still the phone against my ear. 

"Is it okay if we hang out at the park near the Starbucks?" He asks and I mumble a 'yes'. 

I hang up right after and shove the phone in my pocket. I walk a few steps and look at the house I used to spend my days. Staring at the front door, I keep wondering if I should get in and talk with the people who are supposed to be my family. 

If a few months ago, someone told me that I'd feel uncomfortable with the idea of talking with my parents or even get in the house, I would not believe them. 

After several talks with Shawn and Josh, both of them convincing me to listen to them, I decided that I'll try my best to understand. I know that I took about a week before I finally agree but the anger in me was way too high to either pick up the phone when they called me or go back home. 

I also didn't want any of them to accompany me. I wanted to do it alone and face my own family alone. What a sad way to say it: 'Face my own family' as if I was about to fight the people I love. 

I slowly head to the front door and, once I'm in front of it, I raise up my arm to knock. A few seconds pass away but then, the sound of footsteps take place. Walking to the door, the person opens it and my mom's head pops up from inside.  

"Alyssa?..." She first asks, frowning as if it was to check if she's dreaming or not but then her facial expression changes to let a huge smile appearing on her red lips. "Aly!" She exclaims with joy in her voice. She doesn't let me react that I already feel her arms surrounding me. 

It's been only a week that I didn't see her but that was enough to miss her. After some seconds, I finally wrap my arms around her in turn and a knot starts forming in my throat. I can't, not again.

The sweet and fruity perfume of her blonde hair fills my nostrils and that reminds me when she used to take care of herself before she discovered for the breathing problems. She didn't care about the way she looked like anymore when my dad left and she can deny it as many times as she wants and pretends that was only because of the disease, I'm a hundred percent sure that dad was the reason. Now she's making efforts again to look beautiful for my dad even though she doesn't need all of this and she probably do her best so he doesn't leave her again. 

It breaks my heart to see her like that, being that dependant on someone. But I guess that's how it is to be truly in love, right? Even though that same person can disappear at any moment. 

My eyes filled with water, I step back and get away from her embrace before any tear drops down my cheek. 

"Alyssa?" I hear a male voice coming from behind my mom which makes both of us look at my dad who's standing straight. 

"Come... I think that we need to talk..." My mom says, putting her hand on my back to drag me inside. 

I breathe in and out deeply before I step in. We all get in the living room in silence and I sit in the opposite of them but they don't wait for even a second and start directly the long-awaited discussion. Well, my mom starts. 

"So as you know, your dad left us a few months ago while I got sick but the fact that I discovered my disease at the same time was only a coincidence-" She starts but I cut her off, because of confusion. 

"But that was the reason he left, wasn't it?" I ask, trying to contain my anger inside of me. 

Even though it's only been 2 minutes that I'm here, I'm already losing my patience and dad seems to notice it since he talks over my mom. 

"If I left, it wasn't because of your mom but because I had to... I start feeling like I was going crazy with my job and even though I love you all, I couldn't stay with you. I was scared to hurt you or something-" I don't let him continue either and talk over him. 

"You was scared to hurt us? Don't you know that leaving us was worse than only 'hurting' us?" I say and a chuckle leaves my mouth. "And what about your new family?" I say before he has the time to reply but he doesn't even bother himself trying to justify. My mom does it for him. 

"Aly..." My mom says almost in whispers but I just get up from where I was sitting. 

"No, Stop mom. You don't know all the horrible things he told me when I spotted him at the soccer club so you have no valid reason to be by his side..." I say, struggling not to break down in tears. "I never thought that one day I'd have both of my parents against me... Not you, mom... I never thought that you'd rather believe my dad and let me go out the house. I never thought that you'd prefer letting dad living here instead of your daughter who took care of you this whole time... But it's okay... I'm fine." I say but this time I couldn't hold back the tears. My voice cracks and my cheeks get wet within a second.

I start stepping to the front door but turn to them before I get out. 

"Oh... And don't beg me to listen to you if you don't have a good reason enough that could justify the shit you've done lately... I'm not coming back if there's not a better reason or if he's still here, mom." I snap out and get out of the house. 

Feeling worse than when I came here. 

I won't lie, I honestly thought that there was a reason and that I'd come back but all I got is two parents who don't know how to act or how to hold their daughter close to them. 

I'm off of this whole situation. How did I even get in this? 

Please, wake me up from this nightmare. 

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Hi people! I hope you liked this chapter! 

Love you all. 

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