Drowning / SM

Chapter 71

- 2 weeks ago -

"babe?..." Shawn asks, almost in a whisper as if he was checking if I was sleeping or not.

We're lying on the sofa of his living room and watching a movie like an old couple who's enjoying the calm of the condo. His legs on the floor, I'm lying in his arms that surround me, and under the plaid... warm. His chin resting on my head and his fingers playing with strands of my hair, he moves his mouth to my ear where he whispers some sweet words that make me smile the second I hear them.

"yeah?" I chuckle lightly and infatuate so I can look into his sparkling eyes but soon after, his smile that was illuminating his face, fades away and furrowing eyebrows take place. "What?" I ask, now worried about what he's going to say.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asks, caressing my cheek with his soft hand.

I turn back my head to the television only to hide from his gaze but his finger under my chin, he makes me look back at him.

"I know that there's something wrong because I picked you up at Josh's and you had clothes to change with you... so just tell me and maybe I can help you," he says with his voice and pulls me away so I sit in front of him.

I don't wanna break down in tears again, I don't wanna think about this and I just don't want to talk about this but he knows about my dad.

"Dad came back and, apparently, mom and Liam forgave him since he's back home... while I was with Josh because I didn't want to stay at the same place as him..." I admit, looking down at my fingers and playing with them because of the anxiety that's starting building up in me.

"Did they give any reason?" He asks, frowning and trying to understand.

"I didn't let them defend themselves, I just ran out the house..." I say, a knot slowly forming in my throat. I'm trying hard not to let the tears go out and I won't.

"They might have a reason, Lys... Or else, your mom wouldn't have let him come back... Well, I don't think she would have." He says, making my misunderstanding.

"What? Shawn, you were with me when he said that I had to get over the fact that he left us, right? You also were here when he shouted at me to let go of him and to deal with it, right?" I say, my voice raised up a bit because of the anger growing up in me and he just nods. "Then why are you trying to find reasons to why he's coming back?"

"Because everything has a reason and you can't find out if you don't talk to them! I'm not saying that you should forgive him but how do you want to grow and to move forward in life if you don't try to understand?" He snaps out without me excepting that which leaves me speechless.

I look at him with widened eyes but he's right. Everything he said is right and even though the level of hate I have to my dad is really high, I still should try my best to listen to what he has to say.

People can try everything to control their lives so they can live without worrying about anything else but themselves but the thing is that nobody can control a life. Not even theirs. One night they can sleep in a world and the day after, they can wake up to find out that the world they slept in the day before is flipped. Then they realize that things are different and they gotta go with it no matter what because they can't do anything to go back. They have to grow up, learn, deal with it. They'll feel out of place for a moment and lost but then everything will clear up in their mind and they'll see it like that's where they're supposed to be. Where they're meant to be. And they can pretend that they're okay as many times as they want to the other around them but at the end of the day, they'll dawn on the fact that they're not and that the 'old them' is gone even though they kept on hoping that it wasn't. Everything is changing every day and people are changing too. They don't know their own selves so how could other try to know them? Even when it comes to members of their family, they can't know them.

"Lys... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you cry..." I hear Shawn's voice which snaps me out of my thoughts and that's when I realize that tears were flowing down my cheeks without me noticing them.

I didn't know that I started to cry but Shawn noticed it and he spreads his arms to pull me into a hug and try to cheer me up.

"I don't want my little baby to cry like that..." He says and leaves a kiss on my hair while surrounding me with his strong and protective arms.

Shawn's presence warms me up again and these quiet tears are slowly drying, filling back my heart. His big fingers are drawing patterns on my back which is really relaxing and making me think of something else.

My heartbeat is slowing down and my breath getting steady. When I said that he can calm me down, I meant it... As much as Josh get me back to the reason.

Shawn and I stay on the couch, lying, arms in arms with the volume of the television in the background for a few minutes. We're in a silence that lightens us up and my ear against his chest, I'm listening carefully to his heartbeat. A sound that I love so much and that makes me smile without any valid reason. Just smiling like a teenage girl.

I don't want this heartbeat to stop racing. I want to listen to it as long as I can.

We're enjoying this moment together when we get cut off by the doorbell of the condo, making me jump out of Shawn's arms and making him frown with confusion.

"Were you waiting for someone?" I ask, looking up at him and standing up to let him open the door.

"No..." He mumbles and gets up, in turn, to head to the front door to check who rang the bell.

I watch him walking with his sweatpants and his shirt that make him look even sexier and the fact that he runs his hand through his hair doesn't help at all.

I sit back on the couch, still looking at him opening the door.

-----

Hi everyone! i hope you liked this chapter as much as I loved writing it!

Love you all.

-----