A whisper of my heart

Would you agree if I say that this world is sick?

I'm really struggling with loving myself as I am. There are days when I actually look at myself in the mirror and smile. But somedays I keep telling myself how disgustingly I look. And it is taking me so much of energy away. So much of positive energy.
Sometimes I get anxious and feel like the world just don't wanna see me this ugly.

All I want is to hide somewhere.
So nobody could see me.
Because I learned something.
I've come through a lesson that learned me something about people - they don't want to see you cry. They don't want to take responsibility. And they don't want to deal with your problems. So we better hide them. And wear masks. Act like we are okay even if we are not.

So would you agree if I say that
this world is certainly sick?

Why should I be defined by my look?
Why am I always defined by my look?

And so I get into this thought.
That this world would be much better place if we just don't have the feeling that we can judge and care about how the other person look. And finally figure out what is the real meaning of this world. Meaning of our existence. And stop making judgements based only on outer look.

After all of this. I'm here. And I'm ready to believe in us. I'm ready to be honest with you and with myself. I still believe there are people who are going to see who I really am. And see the bright side. And I'm ready to see it too. I know what's the point. I keep trying to get there. I'm working on myself. I'm trying hard to shut the voices down. Reduce things that make me feel shitty about myself. Because I'm good enough.
I'm a good person.
That's all that matters.
Now I know it.