Vampire Romance: My Heart has Lost Direction

Chapter 12 -- Confessions

"Do you have a death wish?" I turned to see Quinn walk into the room with his eyes glaring and his tone accusing. The only answer I could supply was a simple shrug. My reply stirred his concern and he headed over to the podium until he was standing directly in front of me. I was average height for a girl, but Quinn's tall stature usually made it to where I had to look up to meet his gaze. With the podium giving me extra height, he was able to look directly into my eyes. As he stared into my eyes, he looked as if he was trying to find the reason for the way I had reacted.

I closed my eyes once again to try to banish the memory to the locked box in the back of my head. At the beginning, when I was going through drug withdrawals, I had no control over myself. I would beg them to take me, so I didn't have to go to the Blood Letting when no one bought me. The worse sense that was heightened from the withdrawals was my nerves, and the pain from the Blood Letting was enough to drive me mad. Mad enough to cry, curse, and vomit in front of them.

After I got a hold of myself, and the withdrawals got easier to deal with, my resolve started growing. I never wanted to let them see me vulnerable like that again. I had vowed to never speak to them again, nor to ever have any weakness that they could use against me. The Blood Letting became nothing more than a trial that I had to go through. Not soon later, I became what they considered Dead Meat.

"So what really happened down there?" Quinn asked.

I stilled. "I lost it."

"That much was apparent, but what caused the sudden change?" My jaw hurt from my clenching teeth, so I forced myself to relax.

"Don't you have to get downstairs?" I asked.

"He can wait."

I tried to release the tension in my body by sighing, but it offered no reprieve. Quinn gave me a stern look, pushing for an answer. I turned around to escape his gaze, and he took the bait and started to undo the dress in the back. As he worked, I tried to decide how much I wanted to share with him. We weren't close by any means, but there was something about Quinn that made him easy to talk to. After he had the dress off, he handed me my clothes. With the distraction of putting my clothes on, I began to explain.

"You know when I didn't tell you anything about what I liked to do. It's because I'm not proud of who I used to be before the slave trade, not that I'm proud about who I am afterward." Scratching my arm after I had my shirt on, I looked him in the eyes. "I used to be an addict."

He leaned back as if my words had struck him. "That can't be...your blood is so pure and clean."

It took me a moment to come up with an explanation. "Someone said that to me in the Slave Trade also, but I think someone cleansed my body somehow."

I didn't want to give away too much information yet. I wanted answers about what could have happened after the train wreck, but there was power in knowledge and with that came risks.

"That's so weird." He ran a hand through his hair leaving it disheveled as a grin took his features. "It was almost like you were meant to come here."

"Why do you say that?" I asked as I finished buttoning my pants.

Quinn bit his lip. "You ever wonder why Kaylyn would choose to live with me?"

I wondered that every day. It was like a lion and a gazelle living together, and both made enough money to support themselves so it made no sense that they would live together. "I also used to be an addict."

This time I leaned back. "Before or after your conversion?"

"After, but that's a story for another time. Tell me what happened."