Vampire Romance: My Heart has Lost Direction

Chapter 17 -- Library

I wasn't going to start acting like I was free to everything in the house. I even felt odd eating out of the bag of chips, but it was food that I needed while the vampires in the house ate whenever suited them. The true source of sustenance was the blood fridge that I stayed far away from. But the library was Kaylyn's territory, and I felt as if I had to ask for permission. It wasn't out of fear but rather respect. So far they had treated me kindly and I wasn't about to mess that up because I knew just how cruel Amaranthine could be.

It took quite some time to muster up the courage -actually until I was near the bottom of the once full bag of chips, to decide to follow through with asking Kaylyn. It would have been easier to ask Quinn, but he had seemed absent minded when I left his work room. I didn't want to bother him, which was unusual that I cared about the feelings of an Amaranthine more than myself.

But there was something about the way Kaylyn made me feel that intrigued me. I wasn't used to being nervous around Amaranthine, but there was something about Kaylyn that set me on edge. So without allowing myself time to talk myself out of it, I put the chips away and went in search of the attractive looking vampire.

It didn't take me long.

I heard voices coming from the living room area, and after going to investigate, I found Kaylyn sitting in the large leather chair watching a news anchor discuss politics. That surprised me. For one, the anchor was human, and two, I did not see Kaylyn as the type to watch politics. I practically had to kick myself in the back to enter the room, but even then, I stumbled toward the furniture in a slow manner.

How did one ask their 'owner' for something?

I didn't see him that way, and never would I see our situation that way. The thought was almost amusing in my mind. Still, I stood some way from the furniture unable to open my mouth. On a slight whim I moved to the side so that I could see him better, and I was surprised to find that he was reading a book. Did he ever put a book down? I also wondered if the hair falling in front of his face bothered him while he read. There was an itching sensation in my palm to comb that piece of hair back over his head with my fingers. That thought I pushed aside.

"Yes?" Kaylyn's voice made my heart bump against my ribcage, but I went still. He hadn't looked up from his book, and that somehow gave me the strength I needed to speak.

"Can..." I hesitated when I remembered that wasn't the proper way to ask for something. "May..." Then I hesitated again as that word came to my mind as one of the words I so tediously scribbled out of the slave manual. "Book? Borrow?"

I wanted to give myself a pat on the back for that horrible display of words. Kaylyn still must have understood. Without glancing from his book, he gave a simple answer, "No."

A spike of something went through me. It was the same feeling I had when I saw the title of the other book he gave me. I would have turned to leave, but I was not that quitter anymore. "Why?"

"Maybe you should have read the book I gave you instead of ruining it."

The spike became a flood of heat throughout my body until my tongue felt on fire. "What did you expect? I mean who would read a book about how to be a slave? It's like giving a homeless man a book on how to become poor."

"So, are you accepting that you are in fact a slave?" He had played with my words and their meaning.

My hands felt stiff with the need to form my hand into a fist. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm my own person, not a slave. You may be a stronger breed of thing, but I still have enough pride to know that I don't need to grovel at someone's feet just because they can kill me. If men and women had followed that logic, then nothing would have gotten done. Many independent nations like America would never have existed."