Nelson the Cat and his DANK Adventures 2

Story #13: The Girl

"Bing!*

Nelson got a text from Jaiden.

"Can he ever leave me alone?"

Nelson read the text.

I'm coming home from my convention in 10 minutes. Please have the trash taken out before I get home.

"Ugh!"

Nelson dramatically got up and went to the trash can.

Nelson was lifting the trash bag when he saw the most beautiful goddess.

A beautiful white and orange Turkish Van cat stood before his not worthy eyes.

Nelson put the bag over his shoulder, and headed out of the house puffing his chest, whilst flexing his muscles.

Instead of putting the trash bag in the bin like a normal cat, Nelson opened the lid and stepped back 20 feet to throw it. Nelson made sure she was looking.

*swing!*

*crash!*

*rip!*

The trash bag only went five feet, and it tore when it hit the concrete. Nelson blushed. The goddess looked over at Nelson and laughed.

"Even when I fail I'm hot," Nelson said to himself, flexing even harder.

Nelson noticed a muscular pixie-bob cat walk up to the goddess.

"What the scallop!"

He put his muscular arms around her.

"I never thought I'd be a murderer....oh, well!"

Nelson walked up to the goddess and the dumb guy.

"Hey girl, wuss up?" Nelson asked, flexing.

She smiled, but then the dumb guy tightened his grip on her shoulder. She frowned.

"You wanna lose an eye, scrawny?" asked the dumb guy.

"Bob, cut it out!" Demanded the goddess.

Nelson's heart skipped a beat. She's defending him!

"Yeah.....dude.....back off," Nelson said.

"Oh, no...." mumbled the goddess.

The dumb guy let go of the goddess and flexed.

"You wanna fight, scrawny?"

Nelson tried to do a karate pose, but all he could manage was a dancing kangaroo.

"Whoever wins gets the heart of this fair lady," Nelson said.

The dumb nerd kid hesitated for a second, but accepted.

"Fine. Don't worry Lori, I'll beat him in less than a second."

She nodded.

Nelson wasn't stupid. He knew he couldn't win, but this was the only way he could win her heart. Literally.

"Fighting commence!" Nelson yelled.

The fight was on!

Nelson took a breath mint from his pocket and consumed it.

"Gotta' smell good when I win you know—"

The stupid wart came charging at him, mid-sentence!

Nelson barely dodged it.

Nelson looked at the goddess to see if she reacted. She was looking straight at him with a worried look on her face.

Nelson then looked back to the dumb juice box to see he was charging right at him. He had no time to react.

*pow!*

"Gah!"

He was tackled!

"You ain't taking my girl!"

The stupid cork threw a punch at Nelson's face.

*pow!*

Nelson moved his head just in time. Just then, Nelson remembered he had a live cockroach in his pocket.

"You ready for this?" Nelson asked confidently.

"What?" The weird tomahawk kid exclaimed.

Nelson wiggled his arms into his pocket, and reached for the roach.

"What are you doing?"

Nelson pulled out the roach.

"Ahhhh!!!" Yelled the immature porpoise, his voice cracking.

He jumped off of Nelson and stepped 15 feet away.

"Don't come near me!"

Nelson got up with a smirk on his face.

"You scared of this wee little smug bug?" Nelson taunted.

"No! I'm just Uh— Ah!"

Nelson stepped closer.

"Hand over the woman," Nelson demanded.

"Mmmm-fine! Have her! I was only using her anyway!"

"Using me?!" The goddess asked in disbelief.

She ran over to him.

*smack!*

She slapped him square in the face.

"Ooooo! That doesn't look good!" Nelson laughed.

"I'll get you for this!" He yelled, running away in the sunset.

"Okay, see ya then, Bob."

"Hey, Nelson!"

Nelson looked behind him to see Jaiden in his car on the driveway.

"Hey, Jaiden."

"Who's the chick?" Jaiden asked.

"Just my girlfriend," Nelson proudly explained.

"Nicccceee!" He replied.

"Come on, Lori. I'll walk you home."

Nelson put his arm around her shoulder and they walked romantically down the street.

"Thank you Nelson, you're so brave."

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"NELSON! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TRASH BAG!?" Jaiden yelled.

"I'm brave until that happens! Let's run!"

They both laughed.

Nelson and Lori took off into a romantic moon-lit night.