Hello everyone! I asked people on twitter (if you want you can follow me @//overlyoptimistic) if anyone wanted to see this written out. Some of you did so here is my take on the story behind this picture! Let me know if you like it!
It was a draining day at theorist HQ. Four weeks until our baby was born and there is so much to do. I know that the team is doing their best. Matthew and I have been working hard on videos so that when the baby does arrive that they will have something to watch. It has been a lot of work but everyone has been working so hard and they are so thoughtful!
Still, I can't help feeling like I am doing something wrong. Having a child is difficult! I am constantly afraid that I am doing something that will hurt the baby. I am so self conscious these days. I am constantly checking my weight. My doctor keeps telling me that my weight is unhealthy. The scale confirms it. Every time I step on the scale it feels like I am hit by a truck. It says I am not good enough. What if I am not good enough to be a parent? What if I somehow do something to hurt the baby? What if I let everyone down? Questions like these started to spread like wildfire. With these also brought my self-doubt. Lately I felt so self-conscious about my appearance. I feel like every time I go out people are staring at me. I feel like I'm not pretty enough somehow. I know these thoughts are negatively charged and useful but in the moment I felt like I was drowning in my own thoughts. I absentmindedly started to draw shapes on my stomach. This is a habit I have picked up when I found out I was pregnant.
"Stephanie? Are you okay?" Matthew asked braking my train of thought.
"Yeah! I am fine. I was just lost in thought." I replied putting on a brave face.
I looked at the time on my computer. It was almost time to go to the YMCA. Matthew and I started going together ever since I became pregnant. We started taking water aerobics classes, along with water running, and, of course, swimming. According to the research we did these classes were supposed to help with maintaining a good cardiovascular system, provides good muscle tone support for the physical changes happening to my body, reduces risk of balance issues/falls, helps so I don't tire, I will have more energy, and so many other benefits. Although I feel silly doing these classes. I am so lucky that Matthew does them with me. He knows I hate doing them alone. We are so out of place with the old ladies who do these classes.
"Stephanie?" Matthew asked again.
"Sorry! Sorry! I zoned out." I replied.
I pushed my laptop off my lap. I stood up slowly and stretched. It had been a long day of sitting down. It was a welcomed part of my day to go to the gym. The physical activity felt good no matter how silly it felt.
"Matthew. I am going to get ready." I said sending my husband a smile.
He smiled back at me claiming that he will be up in a minute.I made our way up the stairs to our bedroom. On the top of the stairs was Skip. Once I made it up the stairs I greeted Skip. He looked at me with a blank stair before going back to sleep. I made our way into the bedroom. I grabbed two pairs of swimming suits before heading into the bathroom to grab the towels. I threw all the things I knew we would need into our designated YMCA bag. I walked out into the bedroom and placed the bag on the bed before walking back into the bathroom. It was almost like a tradition at this point that I would weigh myself before going to the gym. It motivates me to do my best while I am at the gym so that I can come to the healthy medium my doctor keeps telling me about.
I went over to the scale only to find that it was covered in pink sticky notes with his handwriting.
Don't worry about what this one says... or what the doctor's one says (it's clearly wrong!) You are loved just the way you are! By Skip. By babby. And by me! And besides... it'll give us a nice excuse to swim together at the Y! Watch out Granny water jogging is OUR thing now! You look great. I am SO proud of you. We'll get through this together!
A smile made its way onto my face and tears fell from my eyes. Matthew didn't have to do this. He knows me so well. I am so lucky to have him here with me to go through this journey with me. I pulled out my camera to take a picture. I decided to post it on Instagram so that way Matthew and I can look back and smile.
With only four weeks left, it's nice to know I've got a pretty awesome partner on team-baby. :) #36weeks #babypat
With that I posted my picture on Instagram. I took the notes from the scale and put them with my collection of notes that Matthew has written over the years. I stepped on the scale and stared down at my weight. For the first time in a long time I smiled on the scale. These numbers didn't define me.
I took note of my weight and stepped off the scale. I put my scale away. I continued the pre-YMCA routine. Before I knew it I grabbed the YMCA bag and walked back down the stairs. I walked over to Matthew who was grabbing the keys to the car. I walked up and gave him a big hug.
"I see you found my notes." Matthew said chuckling returning the hug.
"I did. Thank you, Matthew!" I replied with tears falling down my cheeks once again.
"Aw! Steph." Matthew cupped my face whipping away my tears with the pads of his thumb. "No tears, okay?"
"Okay, Matthew. Let's go to the YMCA! I am ready to jog those women out of the water." I replied kissing him on the cheek.
He flashed me a smile as we both headed to the car.
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Stephew One shots
FanfictionI am apart of the GTLive community along with many of my friends. Many of them have incredible stories with these two wonderful people so I thought I would try my hand in one shots. Most of these will be fluffy and cute.
