A fear of thunder (Thor x reader)

about losing control

It had been three days since the thunderstorm had hit you with all its force. You felt as you had expected to feel: miserable.

You had been lieing in bed for three days now, sometimes stumbling into the bathroom and collapsing onto the toilet. You felt weak and shaky. You had lost all your power and you badly needed food.

That means ... your body needed food and you were willing to feed it, just to get rid of this feeling. You were even too weak to kill yourself and the lurking fear was gone for the moment.

When the fear was not directly threatening you, you felt okay. You felt as every human should feel. Not that down and not that weak.

But you still were lonely.

With a loud groan you hoisted yourself out of bed. Your legs nearly gave in under the weight of your body and you felt sick again. With only the force of your thoughts you fought the feeling down and regained balance.

You stumbled to your wardrobe and chose some loose clothes that would cover your thin and weak body a bit. Now it was time to wash your hair and darken your pale face with some make-up.

After you had taken a warm shower and covered your face with a slightly darker shade of skin colour you felt a bit better. Slipping on your clothes made it even better and you kind of felt ready to leave and get some foods.

Before you left you made sure that the sun was shining. It was a subconscious action which had slowly become part of your life, together with the fear.

It was rather early in the morning because this was the time when no thunderstorms occurred. Normally. And there were less people on the streets. The ones who were working were already safely stowed at their workplaces and so there was barely anyone left on the streets.

You left your flat like a warrior leaves for battle. Weapons ready, covered in an armour and ready for the worst things to happen. Ridden by fear but sure to hide it.

Your weapons were your bag and the umbrella you always took with you, no matter how good the weather was. It would never safe from a thunderstorm but you felt more comfortable carrying it with you and so you did.

Your armour were your loose clothes which tucked you in like a big tent, only your face showing. The coat you took from the coat check made you feel even more comfortable.

The bad things you were ready to face were seeing other people and being watched by them. Your own little war.

You rushed out of the house using the elevator because you didn't trust your legs to carry you.

The dirty, warm air of the city hit you with all its force, making you gasp. There were barely any people to be seen on the street which made you breath in relieve. There still were enough human beings to make you uneasy but even one other person around you made you nervous and jumpy if you didn't know and trust this person.

You did not really trust anyone but this was because you never left your flat unless if you had to go to work or buy new things.

Everything that couldn't rot on its way to you was ordered by you on the internet. It spared you the interaction with real humans and the exhausting progress of trying on clothes with someone waiting in front of your cabin.

You moved fast and quiet, avoiding every kind of physical contact with other people or even eye contact. Still you saw more then the most did because this was what you always did. Observe and suck in everything around you, preparing you for everything.

Your eyes always searched for a place to hide in case a thunderstorm occurred.

You moved as if you were in a hurry even though you had enough time for everything. Today and tomorrow and next week. You had quit your job the day after the thunderstorm had shaken your roots, weakening them slightly.