Mental

10

Yoongi closed the door shut to his apartment, back pressing against it. He was breathing so heavily, eyes shutting. His eyeballs moved rapidly under his eyelids, trying to calm down from what just took place.

He hated it. His sexuality got the best of him. No one knew his preference were boys either, well... other than his parents. Let's just say that's why Yoongi has an apartment now.

Thinking about it more, Yoongi started having flashbacks.

—

"I can't believe you. After all this time and you disrespect us like this?! We raise our son up to be a faggot?!" Yoongi's father slammed his fists on the sturdy dining room table, causing the china display to rattle from the vibration.

Yoongi felt his heart drop to the floor, at the name being labeled onto him. 'Faggot'. It really made him cringe.

"Who ruined your mind?! Who the hell taught you to like BOYS??" His father screeched. Yoongi was sure the neighbors could hear everything at this point.

"No one...." Yoongi's hands were clammy due to the anxiety filling his body and brain. He could start to feel them shake violently.

His father was drenched in anger, his face painted like a bull ready to attack through the red sheet. He kept his silence for a few moments, until he decided to taunt his own son with his next words.

"Who." His father's voice change to a simple tone which scared the hell out of Yoongi.

"What do you mean..?" Yoongi's voice was so meek.

"Who is it. Who is it you like? Who's this magnificent boy you just adore so much?" His father propped his chin up on both his fists, staring into his sons' soul.

Yoongi hesitated. He didn't want to say. He was scared..

"Yoongi.." His mother pressed, but her tone not sweet. "Answer your father."

Yoongi gulped, not even looking at his parents in the eyes. What would they even do if he told them who he liked? Yoongi already knew they never met the boy he had a crush on anyways.

"H-His name....," Yoongi started, quivering. "His name is Jeon Jungkook." He finally answered his father's question.

"Jungkook, hm?" His father nodded a bit. "Well let me say this to you, Yoongi. If I ever meet this boy, or find out what he looks like I will certainly kill him and have him gone. He has wrecked you. He's damaged you. You're not in love with him, it's all fake. I'll have him gone from your life in an instant."

Yoongi started tearing up, staring at his hands as he was forced to sit and listen to his father's threatening words.

"I don't want you talking to him, YOU HEAR?! You get distant from him and end whatever the fuck you've developed for him, PERIOD." His father stood, causing Yoongi to gasp and look up. "If I find out you're still close with him I'll end this boy quicker than what you'd think."

Yoongi couldn't help it now, tears started to flow down his cheeks. How could he just ignore Jungkook and basically forget about him? How could he just immediately grow cold towards the person he has the deepest feelings for? He really /really/ liked Jungkook, and he knew if he started to shut the younger out.. it would hurt him. Yoongi started crying even more just thinking about that.

"Also, I want you out of this damn house. I don't keep fags under the same roof." His father spat out coldly, grabbing Yoongi by the arm and yanking him up. "Get your shit out by tonight and be gone. I don't want to see you." He pushed his son back into the wall before storming off out of the room they were in.

Yoongi was sobbing at this point, and he looked over at his mother who was sitting there. "Mom..." he cried out, praying she'd at least show some compassion.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi...." She spoke, standing up and leaving the room too. Not even looking her own damn son in the eyes. Yoongi really was alone now, he'd have to find his own place to live. He was so stressed to where he ended up running out the front door and throwing up in the yard. He'd never bring himself to tell this to his friends. Never.

—

"Get your shit out by tonight and be gone. I don't want to see you." Yoongi repeated the words his father said to him, chuckling with sadness and hurt. He looked down at his crotch, feeling his chest heat up with a lump starting to form in his throat.

He stormed to his bathroom, turning the overhead light on and looking at himself in his body mirror. "You see, everyone hates you. I hate you too. Won't you ever learn?" Yoongi talked to his reflection in the mirror, taking a step closer to it. "That you're a fucking faggot. That you're wrecked, and that you're damaged?" He looked at himself straight in the eyes in the clear mirror.

"No one wants to see you. You're just a cold asshole, you deserve to be beaten up. Well, now it's my turn. Its my turn to beat the hell out of you." Yoongi spoke harshly, then taking one more step closer to the mirror. "It's my turn to show you what you really should look like." He then raised his fist and punched the mirror as hard as he could, starting to break down. "I HATE YOU." He yelled, punching the mirror again, seeing it was starting to crack. "I HATE YOU, MIN YOONGI I HATE YOU." He choked on his tears, throwing more punches to the mirror. "I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" Yoongi's punches became more violent until he couldn't even see himself in the mirror anymore. It was so cracked and distorted, his face couldn't be seen. Blood filled the broken cracks of the mirror, dripping onto the floor slowly.

His hands were shaking, but more specifically— his bloody hand twitched badly. The skin was worn down, even some skin got ripped off from it getting stuck in the tiny crevices of broken shard from the mirror. His hand was soaked in red. Yoongi didn't care though.

"I fucking despise you, Min Yoongi." He smiled irregularly. He left his bathroom and quickly went to his fridge, pulling out any alcoholic drink he could find. He immediately started guzzling them, wanting to just pass out— and that's exactly what he did.

A/N: This was really sad for me to write..