Dreamer | Jung Hoseok [Discontinued]

Four

Dancing with Hoseok seems too good to be true. Doesn't it? Well, for me at least. 

I started singing along with the song without noticing as if my mind acted on its own.

I hear another voice singing the next lines.

My turn.

The next line...we both sang together, in sync, at the top of our lungs, not caring weather anyone would hear us or not.

And the song ended like that. We both stayed there in silence, composing ourselves. It took me about ten seconds to just remember my name.

I forgot everything as I was caught in the moment. Smiling brightly out of relief, I slowly turn to look at Hoseok. "I didn't know you could sing." I started.

"I didn't know you could either." He retorted.

"But honestly, that took me by surprise." I said.

"I didn't know I could sing either!"

"You sounded so experienced." I said, my words lacing with sarcasm while rolling my eyes.

"Was that sarcasm?" He placed his hands on his hips.

"What gave it away?" I said, innocently as we both started laughing. "Just kidding, you were really good, honestly speaking."

"Meh, I usually don't sing, I mostly rap and danc-." He said as I was hit with confusion and disbelief.

"Hold up. You rap too?" I interrupted him. "Okay, what else are you hiding from this world?"

He shrugged. "I don't rap that much."

"You might not, but I doubt you're bad at it."

"Yeah right."

"I am right. You don't want to show off you're skills? That's why I like you. You know you can do so much with talent like that." I pointed out before realizing what I just said.

I slapped my hand on my mouth and shut it. That's why I like you.

What did I just...?

I want to crawl into a hole and stay there away from the world and especially Hoseok. I felt like screaming at myself for my stupidity and how I just got exposed by myself! 

I avoid eye contact with him by turning my head to look at the full moon that rose, shining rays of disappointment at my face. I wouldn't blame it, I just unintentionally confessed to him! If he finds out, I won't be able to live in peace any longer!

He only chuckled at that as I blushed to my limits, turning scarlet red. He walked over and pat my head, the laughter not wearing off. "You're ridiculous."

Wow

I started laughing nervously, sweat seeping out of my head and my heart beat speeding up. I just remembered who he is. I just blurted out my thoughts without realizing who I said it to. I guess I was too excited and distracted to even know what is surrounding me.

"Its already been an hour, aish." He stared down at his phone. "I better get going, my mom's gonna kill me." He jumped down the stage in a smooth landing, spreading his arms out for balance.

And I'm here, still sweating nervously, a forced and awkward smile plastered on my face, my eyes twitching as I replay what just happened. Me, accidentally confessing my feeling for the guy I like. But, at the same time, I'm thankful to God for making him that dense.

"Earth to Sua!" I hear Hoseok shout, cupping his mouth from the sides. 

I quickly break out of my trance and shift my gaze towards him. "O-Oh yeah, I better get going too."

I don't want to go back home, I don't want to bother Dahee either. I don't think I'd like to sleep on the streets so I have no other option.

A sigh escaped my lips as I look down at my feet, fiddling with them. 

Hoseok smiled at me once more. That heartwarming smile of his that always makes my day. "Whatever you're going through, It's gonna be alright, trust me. And feel free to come here again tomorrow."

I nodded as he picked up his plastic bag and walked off and past the fences.

After a few minutes of sitting cross-legged on the stage, thinking of nothing but the fact that I don't want to go back home to the household where I'm not loved, were no one's loved, I pick up my bag and unwillingly drag my feet to home. 

-

I open the front door silently with the help of the extra key hidden under the potted plant beside the door.

I peak inside to see all the lights turned off and the atmosphere completely quiet. 

Of course, they went to sleep, not bothered whether I come back home safely or not. At least I don't have to deal with them again. 

I tiptoe upstairs to my room. I turn on the lights to look at the many posters of idols and famous artists around the globe stuck to the walls of my room. I smile, wondering how it feels to be so acknowledged by fans, to able to sing their hearts out willingly. 

To be loved by a huge amount of people who support you with all their might. Who support you for the hard work you've done for them.

I'd like to be like them someday, but I don't think my parents would support me to.

I change my clothes into fresh ones but am too exhausted to take a shower which I'll do next morning since its Saturday tomorrow.

I walk to my desk to look at the two photo frames on it like I usually do. 

One photo frame consisted of...well, the one boy. Hoseok on our annual sports day, crossing the finish line of the marathon as he torn the red ribbon. His arms balled into fists in the air in victory. He looked so happy and proud. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I had of him, the only picture I was able to take perfectly as all the others were just a blurry mess.

Well, there is another picture, and it's me and Hoseok, side by side, holding peace signs for the yearbook photo, but I kept that picture and stuck it in my diary. The only problem with that picture is that I looked way too stressed out and nervous, other than that, it was fine as Hoseok had his signature heart smile on.

The other photo frame is actually the picture of a six year old me and my eleven year old brother. Soohyun. He held on to my shoulders and I held onto his arm, both of us smiling brightly as my grandmother took the picture.

Soohyun oppa and halmeoni were the only two people in my whole entire family who loved me. They supported me the most in life and they are the reason why I'm still standing on my two feet.

At last, I lost them both.

Halmeoni passed away after I turned twelve. I didn't sleep well for a whole month straight.

And Soohyun oppa...he committed suicide when I was fourteen. To this day, I never found out why.

I have to live the rest of my life without them by my side. It hurts more than you think.

They are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to bed. But this time, considering my own father slapped me for accidentally running in the house with shoes on, I wished to be with them more than ever.

I ended up crying myself to sleep tonight, not ready for what life was holding for me tomorrow.