𝕥𝕠𝕠 𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖 • 𝕞.𝕔

chapter 34

•••

"So, this is goodbye?"

"Chill, Lee, we're taking him away a couple of days," Luke chuckled, putting Michael's bag inside the car trunk. "I am sure you will survive without him."

"Obviously, I will," I said, looking at Michael, who leaned against the car, running a hand through his hair. "I just know him. And you guys."

"We won't go crazy," Michael replied, smirking. "I'm not like that."

"He's lying, things will get messy, Lee," Calum teased, sticking his tongue out. "Three boys on a road trip, what do we expect? Girls and alcohol."

"Do you have any idea on why Ashton's not coming?" Michael asked, turning to Calum, who was already sitting on the driver's seat. "Is it the whole Amanda thing again?"

"Actually, I think it is," Luke answered, getting on the passenger's seat. "We all remember what happened last time he came along. It's probably best he's staying home this time."

Those words sounded scary. A road trip. Club trip, more like... But then again, who was I to tell Michael what to do? He had gotten more and more responsible as the months had gone by, and I was trusting him with my whole heart. I had to, or else I would go crazy, knowing he was God knew where with two of his best friends.

I was fully aware of the fact that Luke and Calum weren't exactly demons, but I knew that Calum in particular could be a little dare-devil at times.

"That sounds very reassuring," I said sarcastically.

"Don't worry," Michael shook his head. He approached, and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. I wanted his lips to stay there longer, but he pulled away, and embraced me. I breathed his scent and tried to remember it, to bury it in ta corner of my mind. That way, he still would be with me when he was gone. "I will be here in a few days, as we promised each other, and it will be okay. I'll be sensible."

"I know you are. Just don't forget the appointment, or let me know if you can't make it. I really want you to be here for it."

"Don't worry," he replied, smiling. "Love ya."

"Love ya too," I squeezed his hand one final time, and he let go, jumping into the car.

As I watched the car start, and driving away, there was this feeling I didn't like in my stomach. I blamed it on the fact that it was just because of Michael was going away, and us being apart for the first time in a while, out of reach and control. I wanted him to be always here, but why was I even feeling that way? 

He lived his life, and I lived mine, and I felt so stupidly needy. But I guess it was like that when you fell in love with somebody; you fell in love with their presence, and each minute away made your heart ache. Maybe it was total bullshit.

I crossed my arms and took a deep breath as the car drove away. When I couldn't see it in the distance, I took a look around me. The streets around my flat looked empty. The wind was blowing hard, and even my puffy jacket didn't help me feeling any warmer. I turned around, walking towards my front door. I just wanted to crawl into bed and not talk to anyone. It wouldn't be too hard, considering that most of the people I knew were either away, busy, or gone from my life.

It was mid-afternoon, but I was feeling too exhausted to do anything else. I started my laptop, and began watching a movie. I turned it off when I realised I wasn't able to focus on it in the slightest, and wanted to sleep, it was too early. Once upon a time, I'd loved being alone all the time- hence why I didn't have that many friends. As a solitary person, I had learned to love being by myself. But now that I had gotten used to people's presence, it was difficult to switch back to the lonesome lifestyle.

But that was my life, now, wasn't it? And I was sure that as soon as I would start working again, I'd find new friends. Wouldn't I? I was attempting to convince myself the best I could, even if it didn't really work.

I just wanted this baby to be born, so life could go on. I obviously knew that it wouldn't go on in the same way that I had planned, but that was okay. 

I would become active, instead of just being a blubbering blob that would stay home because her whole body was hurting. Me, right now. I felt big, and awful, and ugly, and nothing felt right at times.

I didn't understand why many women said that the last months of pregnancy were the best; they had been the worst. I felt horrible. And as I started falling asleep, I didn't even refrain myself; there was nothing else to do anyway.

•••

I listened as I called up Michael, the seconds feeling like hours. He hadn't answered my texts, and I was growing worried. I knew that he was busy, but it wasn't like him to keep him hanging. It had been two days since he'd gone, and he was meant to be back tomorrow for the appointment that was at eleven in the morning. But right now, it was eight in the evening, and I had no idea what he was up to.

"Hello?" I could recognise his voice, but he didn't sound like he usually did.

"Michael, it's me," I smiled, hearing his voice. "How are you?"

"Good," he cleared his throat. I could hear a lot of noise behind him. "It's fine. It's cool. Good."

"That's cool," I said. "Are you having fun?"

"I am!" he answered enthusiastically. "Just a party..." he laughed for no reason at all. "It's real funky."

"Funky?"

"Funky, funky, funky! That's a word."

"I'm glad you're having fun. Will you be in time tomorrow?"

"For the appointment, I will maybe be late, maybe not, I don't know."

"Are you drunk?" I questioned. "You sound off your face."

"Maybe, maybe not," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, and took a deep breath. "Okay, I love you. Be home soon."

"Yeah, okay, I'll see you then," he then hung up the phone on me.

I just stared at my phone in disbelief, hoping that he would keep his promise. I couldn't hear very distinctly what was going on behind him, and I hadn't been able to discern the voices of his mates. I went to bed with a bad feeling in my heart, knowing that maybe, it wouldn't be as bright as I had imagined it to be.

•••

a/n: there will be NO cheating involved in this fiction.