Devotion (John Seed)

6. Names

Rook weighed her options and decided that jumping out of the god damn window would be a stupid move. Even if she did survive it and was able to walk away from the ranch, there was a low chance that she wouldn't get caught and just brought back to the ranch or even to the bunker. So she hesitated but walked out of the guest bedroom and walked down the stairs, knowing that she was walking straight towards John. He didn't even have to work for it this time.

She walked down the stairs and wandered into the lounge, where John was standing with his signature confident and sickeningly charming smile. She walked into the room, maintaining at least a few feet between her and the baptist.

The deputy's hair was drying now and she had strands falling over her face and down to just above her shoulders. John resisted the urge to frown, he was still comparing the image of her from the church with the woman standing in front of him.

"I understand that confession can be scary, that it can be intimidating. Do we really want to know our sins so personally? Maybe we don't want to know. But we should accept them so that we can be forgiven" John spoke, not moving towards her as he sensed her discomfort.

John let out a sigh before walking towards her, the deputy instinctively stepped backwards until her back was pressed against the wall. "What happened to you?" He asked, surprising her with the amount of sincerity in his voice. "What happened to your hair?" He asked and ran his fingers through Rook's hair.

"I cut it...it's easier when fighting a god damn doomsday cult" Rook told him, scoffing slightly.

"Well you did an awful job" he growled and gripped the back of her hair and pulled her head backwards, forcing her to look up at him.

"I had to use a combat knife" she rolled her eyes.

John tightened his grip on her hair, making Rook reach up and grip onto his biceps. "You are almost back to the woman I saw in the church. Clean and soft again" he whispered, brushing his other hand over her cheek.

"What's different?" Rook asked quietly, some how getting caught up in the situation. For some reason she was genuinely curious about what he had to say.

"Your eyes. They were so full of hope, curiosity and the wonder of what was yet to come. I can see some curiosity in there...but..." John drifted off and loosened his grip on her hair, bringing his hand down to caress her neck.

"But?" Rook asked. She genuinely seemed interested in what he had to say, it was strange to John. Only a moment ago, she despised him and wouldn't give him a moment of her time.

"But now they are so...lifeless. All hope has been drained from them, all wonder has disappeared. There is nothing there anymore. You aren't yourself anymore but I can bring you back" John assured her.

Rook thought over his words and knew that he was right. As soon as that helicopter crashed she knew that all hope was gone, that nobody was coming to save them. Then she dedicated her time to helping the resistance to the point that she is their leader, yet she didn't feel hopeful about any of it.

"You can't bring me back, I'm too far gone. This place has destroyed me and you can see it, it's completely changed who I am" she shook her head, maintaining eye contact with the baptist. For some messed up reason he was making her feel...secure in this moment.

"That isn't true. You are in there, somewhere, and I will bring you back" he promised her, looking so genuine. It was hard to resist him.

"I'm not me anymore John. Nobody here even knows my name, I am just 'the deputy' or 'Rook'. Nobody cares about who I am, just what I can do for them" she confessed, her eyes filling with sadness. It took John by surprise, she was meant to be a hero. The hero.

"Well, what is your name?" John asked, tucking her hair behind her ears.

There was a pause before she answered. "I'm not telling you" she shook her head and began to push him away.

"Deputy. What could the harm be? So what if one person in Hope County knows your name?" John asked, grabbing her wrists and pinning her arms to her sides.

"Fine...its Amelia...Amelia Morgan" she sighed, looking down at her feet. Wondering whether she made a mistake.

"Now, that wasn't so hard. Was it?" John smirked before stepping away from her. Rook hung her head, cursing herself for being so foolish. He was obviously messing with her, lying to get her to open up to him. It won't happen again.