Devotion (John Seed)

17. I Lied For You

Amelia's body ached as she watched her self in the mirror, John moving around her. He brushed his nose against her chin, making her lift her chin up to look at the ceiling, and his lips met the sensitive skin on her neck again. Leaving kisses as he kept lowering himself, until he got to her collar bone. Without any warning John licked across the 'WRATH' that was carved neatly on her collar bone. She had to admit that he seemed to have taken more care and time with her scars, they looked much neater than other people's. Even his and the Father's.

Then John fully pulled away from her, keeping both of his hands on the bottom of her ribs. Admiring her shirtless figure, only a small amount of material obscuring his view and maintaining her dignity. He took her hand in his before leading her over to the workbench, picking up her shirt and draping it over her shoulders.

They both knew that nobody would be inside the ranch, considering nobody other than the family is allowed inside. So John took her hand again and guided her up the stairs, he walked her back to the guest room and into the ensuite bathroom.

"You should get clean so your wounds don't get infected" John warned her as he removed the dirty shirt from around her shoulders, throwing it into the laundry basket. "Are you going to talk to me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, noticing that she had been rather quiet.

"Sorry. I'm just thinking..." She sighed, shaking her head and wrapping her arms around her bare stomach. She suddenly felt very exposed in front of John.

"Thinking about what?" He asked, using one hand to tuck some hair behind her ear and the other hand to lower her arms back to her sides.

"Everything. I still can't believe that I came back here, I still can't decide whether it was the right thing to do or not" Amelia admitted, letting him move her arms down to her sides.

"It was the right thing to do. This is where you belong" he assured her, letting his fingers brush against hers before running his hands up her waist.

"But the resistance were the ones who saved my life in the first place...I feel as if I owe them something" she tried to explain how she was feeling.

"Amelia, you don't owe them anything. But you owe it to yourself to be happy. Whatever your choice is, make sure it is the one that makes you smile" John said, cupping her cheek with one hand and running his thumb along her bottom lip.

Amelia looked up at him with admiration in her eyes. She didn't think that he could be so sincere and so genuine, he looked as if he really cared about how she felt. Amelia placed her hands on the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his hair as she pulled him down to meet her. Their lips crashed together, and John held on to her waist. "Thank you" she whispered in between kisses.

"Shower...then meet me downstairs" he mumbled against her lips before pulling away, his hands lingering on her bare waist before he turned and left the bathroom.

Amelia showered, the water stung her new scars but she endured it, she then got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She chose a simple outfit from the closest before drying her hair with the towel and walking down the stairs. "John?" She called, trying to figure out where he was.

She could hear a muffled voice coming from his office so she quietly walked over and opened the door, peaking in silently. John was standing by his desk with his back to Amelia, talking on the phone to somebody. "Yes, I'm working on it. She is close, I can feel it" John assured the person on the phone. The deputy silently stepped into the room, wondering who and what he was talking about.

"Just because she came back doesn't mean that she is ready...yes but we must be patient with her...just trust me, I know what I am doing...very well Joseph" John finished before hanging up and turning around, only to freeze when he saw Amelia. She was stood in the doorway of his office with a look of betrayal on her face.

Her mouth hung open as if she was trying to speak but couldn't find the words. Then she suddenly turned on her heel and walked down the hallway. John cursed to himself before hurrying after her, grabbing her wrist and turning her around to face him before she could reach the front door. "Amelia, listen-" John began to attempt to defend or explain himself.

"No John. You don't have to explain yourself or apologise or anything. I knew who you are, I knew about the things you did when I decided to confess to you. This was my mistake. I was an idiot for trusting you. I mean, what was I thinking? Trusting John Seed the sadist baptist of Hope County, how many warning signs could I have ignored?" Amelia shook her head and forced a laugh, pulling her wrist out of his grasp.

"Amelia...were you even listening to what I was saying?" John asked, snapping slightly as he gripped both of her wrists in his hands. "I told Joseph that you hadn't confessed yet. I lied to my brother, to the Father, for you" he told her, frustration and regret in his eyes.

"Why would you do that?" She asked in disbelief.

"Because, like I said, confession should be private. I will tell him soon enough, but he doesn't need to know right now" John sighed, taking her hand in his and running his thumb over her knuckles.

"Sorry for over reacting" Amelia apologised, smiling at him a little.

"I wouldn't trust me either" he joked, both of them letting out small quiet laughs.

"Is there anything else I should know?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"...Joseph is having a sermon. He wants me and my siblings there, he wants you there" John confessed, watching her carefully for her reaction.

"No. I am not going to Joseph's church. Me being here, at the Seed Ranch is bad enough, going to his church would be going against everything I've done here" she shook her head, not even needing to think about the answer. For some reason she liked spending time with John and he made her feel better, but she doesn't want to join the cult or whatever it is that they have planned.

"Think of it as your redemption" John suggested, shrugging meaninglessly at the situation.

"Wait, are you even giving me a choice?" Amelia asked, anger bubbling up inside her.

"No, I'm not. You are going and you will be respectful, end of argument" John deadpanned and she pulled her hand out of his grasp.

"I must be mishearing you because you just sounded like a damn parent. I am not going and you can't make me" she crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Watch me" John spat before turning and walking away.

"John!" Amelia called, still angry and in disbelief.

"This isn't a debate! I have to go so you have to go" he turned to her and told her before walking away, this time into another room and out of sight. Amelia mumbled a string of curses to herself as she hid herself away in her bedroom.