Devotion (John Seed)

10. Nightmares

Neither the deputy or the baptist mentioned what had happened in his office. John didn't mention because he couldn't stop thinking about it and that was downright infuriating to him. Amelia didn't mention it because she didn't know how to or if she even should. Maybe it would be best to just forget about it, he is the enemy after all.

It was later that night, when the ranch was silent. Even the sound of the patrolling cultists outsides was quiet, they respected John's peace after all. John was asleep in his bed while Amelia slept in hers.

Unfortunately, the deputy had been having some honorific dreams since her arrival in Hope County. Some would just be of the crash and of all the awful things she has done during her time her, other times the nightmares would be about what would happen if one of the Seed Siblings managed to capture her.

Her dreams were so vivid and felt so real.

Jacob catching her and putting her through conditioning. Starving her and dehydrating her until she would do anything for the smallest amount of food or water. Him training her to become a mindless soldier. A killing machine.

Faith catching her and drugging her with the bliss, until the deputy's friends just become faceless figures. The images of her self ruthlessly killing people she didn't even recognise, people who she had helped in the past.

Joseph trapping her, forcing her to become one of them. Whether it was just another cultist or a member of the family, maybe even the next Faith, he would preach to her until she gave in.

She used to dream about John and the torture he would make her endure, however she didn't think that those dreams would be much of a problem anymore.

Amelia shot up in the bed, sitting up straight, in a cold sweat and with heavy breathing. She took in her surrounding and reminded herself that she is safe, well some what safe, in the ranch. She calmed herself down and steadied her breathing before climbing out of her bed. Her mouth was completely dry so she decided to head downstairs and get a glass of water.

After getting her glass of water and drinking it in the kitchen, she walked back up the stairs and silently padded past John's room. She paused when she heard what sounded like shuffling, maybe even a struggle, coming from inside the room. Amelia took a breath before slowly opening the bedroom door.

She stepped into the dark room and closed the door behind her, shocked by the sight in front of her. John was laying on his bed, in a restless sleep, with the bed sheets tangled around his body and sweat forming on his forehead. Amelia averted her eyes from his bare, toned, torso and padded over to the bed before sitting down on the edge.

Not sure about what to do, she gently placed her hand on his bare shoulder. He flinched at her touch at first before his breathing seemed to calm down and he lay still on his back. The deputy nodded to herself before pulling her hand away and beginning to stand up. She let out a shocked gasp when she felt John's hand wrap around her wrist.

She turned back to him and saw John, laying on his back, with his head tilted to look at her. "What are you doing?" he asked. His tone was threatening but it was hoarse and pained.

"I was getting a drink...you were thrashing around and I...I tried to help you" Amelia stuttered out, not sure of how to respond to the unpredictable man.

"Have you been crying?" he asked quietly, so not to disturb the calm in the dark room. Both of their visions were adjusting to the dim lighting, now able to make out each other's features.

"N-no" she stuttered again and shook her head.

John shifted into a sitting position, leaning backwards against the headboard. He then reached over to her and cupped her face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the dried tears. "Why were you crying?" he asked, genuinely curious. This is the strongest person in Hope County...crying...

"It's stupid...just a bad dream" Amelia shook her head, dismissing the whole event.

"Yeah...same" John nodded, both of them becoming uncomfortable suddenly. "What was it about?" he asked, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Amelia searched his eyes for any sinister motive but found none, could she trust him? "Just...everything" she sighed before shifting so that she was sitting beside him, their shoulders touching. "About everything I have done since arriving here...it's horrible and the worst part is that I know that it is all real" the woman sighed again.

"Maybe...it would be easier to accept if you confessed" John commented, he almost hated himself for bringing up confession at a time like this.

"Forget it John. It's not going to happen" the deputy snapped and climbed off of the bed. "I try to open up in some way but you have to go back to your fucked up hobbies again" she snarled and walked towards the door.

"Hobbies?" John asked, his voice booming through the room. "This is my duty. My purpose. Don't you dare disrespect me" he snapped and had the shorter woman pressed against the door in no time.

"That is your problem John. I know that we aren't friends at that we never will be but I tried to help, but your pride gets in the way. Where is pride on your skin, John?" she asked, placing her hands on his warm chest and pushing him away.

"Yet, you won't let me help you" John reminded her.

"That is not the same thing" Amelia snapped, turning to open the door.

"Fine!" John growled before grabbing her arm and dragging her back into the room. "You want to help so bad, then you can" he mumbled angrily to himself.

Amelia's eyes widened as he dragged her further into the room, towards the bed. John huffed and pushed the woman on to the silk sheets, she turned onto her back and watched him carefully as he rounded the bed. She was about to leap off of the bed and make her escape but John just slipped into the bed and lay on his back, closing his eyes as if to collect himself.

Amelia didn't know what to do so she was a little thankful when John rolled his eyes and guided her to lay beside him, under the sheets. "Sleep. We can help each other" he ordered, mumbling slightly, before rolling over and facing away from her.

Amelia just nodded, staring at the back of his head, before turning over so that they were back to back. The two of them fell into peaceful sleeps.