Hurricane - The Greatest Showman ~ Anne X Phillip {Sequel to B R O K E N; free}

Deserve

Anne's POV:

Phillip looked at me with an emotion I never thought his eyes could convey. I wanted to say yes. 

But...

That's so. So

Selfish.

Look at what he's been through because of me. Look a what I've caused. I'm not healthy. I'm very far from. And I might never be healthy again.

I want him.

So
Bad

God why does it have to be like this?

Why can't I accept the fact that he loves me no matter what? Why can't I? He's the most loyal, loving, gentle person I've ever met! Of course he'll always love me. No matter what happens, what I do, what I say.

A voice in the back of my mind that I had suppressed for a long time decided to speak.

And that's why you don't deserve him.

No. Please. Get out. Leave.

Wouldn't it just be better to tell him no and leave him now? It would spare him of the pain you'd cause him in years to come. And it would also save you the pain of him being the one to leave you.

I don't need your help. I know what I should do.

Then do it.

Clock's ticking Louise.

It's the first time I become conscious of the familiar clock countdown sounding in my head.

I remember that night. Outside the theatre. Our first kiss. The moment that broke, yet mended everything.

I blink. And I'm taken there.

I see the hallway we stood in, the way he was looking at me. I see the way I was contemplating if kissing him was what I wanted. And when I say wanted I mean wanted for him. Not for me. I see it frozen, the way it was in my head.

I knew what I wanted.

I still do.

I was selfish that night.

And I'm not sure if I can force myself to be selfish again.

When I first saw Phillip time slowed. Almost to a stop. It's like the tension in every air molecule thickened, because it sensed our emotion conveying at such a strong and rapid pace in such a short amount of time.

I knew what I wanted then.

When I first touched Phillip's hand, the sound faded. As if his touch was so powerful that I had to sacrifice one of my other senses in order to truly feel how electric his touch was.

I knew what I wanted then too.

That night on the boat when we laid in the same bed, on two separate occasions, my body went numb. And all I could feel was a small constant pulse of electricity. One that symbolized a flame for my burning passion.

I knew then.

When I first kissed him, I felt so guilty going into it, but all of my emotions faded when my lips touched his because

My heart. Stopped.

As if my love for him in that moment was too much stress on my small body. That it would literally kill me.

I knew for sure what I wanted then.

Each time he took away one of my senses. Because his love