Retelling the Video

Beautiful 4

Hyungwon's Point of View

I found myself in a room with shards of glass and blue, silver, and pink crystals everywhere. There was fine white sand on the floor. I hated this room immediately, because everywhere I looked I saw my reflection. And I hated my reflection so much. I hated my reflection because it showed me everything that was wrong with me. My lanky arms and legs, my oversized lips, the broken look in my eyes that I seemed to have always had and hidden. The only place I could look without seeing myself was the floor.

I sat heavily and watched as the light sand floated up around me and then settled back down. I picked up sand and let it slip through my fingers. It felt like silk. I smiled and picked up some more and threw it into the air. It settled around and on me. I picked up more and held it between my two hands pressed together. I slowly rubbed my hands together and watched as the sand floated in little sprinkled pieces to the floor. This was fun, and I didn't have to see my reflection at all.

I kept playing with the sand, slowly becoming conscious of my reflection being visible in my peripheral vision. I tried to ignore it, but it became impossible when I realized I looked like and overgrown child playing with the sand like this. I let the sand trickle from my slowly falling hands. My hands came to rest in the sand as my head bowed, trying to hide the welling tears in my eyes from the person that didn't exist. I was trying to hide my tears from the part of me that hated myself.

The part of me that constantly told me I wasn't worth being around. The part that called me hideous and told me that people were disgusted just by looking at me. The part that made me submerge my self in that bathtub.

I remembered everything that had happened in both of the previous places. I don't think Minhyuk did though. He seemed clueless in the hospital room, and he hadn't recognized Doctor Honey as Jooheon. A guy he'd met before and been friends with. Doctor Honey made me feel sick because I knew it wasn't him, it wasn't Jooheon. And Minhyuk didn't say anything if he knew that Doctor Honey wasn't real.

I lifted my head towards the door, thinking I heard a noise. I couldn't see anything except the top part of a glass window in another door like mine. My window was tall and rectangular. So was the window I could see across the hall.

I looked at the place around the door because something bright had reflected into my eyes, momentarily blinding me. I covered my eyes and looked away. I crawled over to the reflective object, scared of what it was but too curious to resist picking it up.

What I picked up was a silver mirror, the kind you could hold in your hands. I saw my reflection in it, just like I saw it in every other thing in this room. But this reflection was different somehow. The things I saw as flaws didn't look like flaws in this mirror. I looked at the other things around the room and the reflections I saw were different from before. They looked normal, my flaws becoming just another part of me that made me who I was. They looked like they belonged with me instead of looking completely out of place.

This was how my friends saw me, not how I saw myself. I smiled to myself because now I knew why my friends were friends with me. It was because they wanted me to be there, because they thought I was perfect just as I was. That's how I should have been thinking about myself instead of hating myself. I used to think about myself like friends do now, but I had stopped a while ago and started thinking negatively.

I looked back at my reflection and felt that other part of me that hated myself melt away to reveal the part that loved myself. It whispered quiet things about me as I sat against a silver crystal and waited, doing its best to make me love myself again. 

Jooheon's Point of View

Hyungwon's door opened and the darkness lifted a little more. Wonho and Kihyun were the only two left, and I was pretty sure Hyungwon had the hardest time learning his lesson. He'd been hating himself for so long, and it was hard to break an old habit.

I walked past his door and he smiled an waved at me. I waved back and he mouthed something at me. Or maybe he said something and I just couldn't hear it.

I knew, were the words his mouth shaped. Then it hit me. He knew that was the real me back in the hospital. I smiled and walked down the hall and back, checking on everyone to see how they were doing. They were doing well enough for me to be satisfied, so I walked back down the hall and sat on the pile of rope and waited for the next door.

(A/N: so I realize I updated yesterday when it was Tuesday... To be honest I thought it was Wednesday. Oops, too late now. Hope you enjoyed three days in a row of updates on this. Have a good day.  :D)