Murdoc x reader [Unaware]

Letters

It's been about a month since you've seen Murdoc. You haven't received any letter from him since the first one. That fact alone caused you a lot of panic during the last month as you were worried as to why Murdoc wasn't sending you any letters. This morning you were notified it was because Paula had forgotten to ship them to you. That makes you angry, as Paula wasn't staying loyal to her claim that she cared about your well being. 

You're now sitting in the villa and looking out of it's window. You're impatiently waiting for Mike and Mohammed to get back from the post office with Murdoc's letters to you. You want to receive some sort of communication from him, you want to know how he's doing. You flop down onto one of the many extravagant couched in the villa and exhale in impatience. You're getting frustrated. You sit up, restlessly and cross your arms and legs and huff. It feels like they're taking an eternity. 

Eventually however, you hear a knock on the door and rush to it. You open it and are instantly handed a card board box of a healthy size by Mohammed. Mohammed and Mike then walk past you and slump themselves onto a couch.

'That was a pain in the ass to get. It was hot and there was a huge line at the post office.' Mohammed says to you.

'Well thank you. I appreciate it.' You say tenderly before walking to the stairs and up into your room. 

You shut the door behind you.

You open the drawer of your bedside table and amongst the miswak you find a small dagger. You take the dagger and remove it's cover and use it to cut open the card board box. You inspect everything you've received to see if you could find anything that could tell you where Murdoc is, and disappointingly you find nothing. You slowly dissect the contents of the box and pull out three letters and recall Mohammed explaining that Murdoc was allowed to send you one letter a week.

The letters are labelled 1,2 and 3. You decide to open them in numerical order.

Letter 1:

'Hello baby,

I haven't gotten a clue as to where you are in this crazy blue planet. So I'm going to assume you haven't been notified. Paula has made one of my biggest fears a reality. She's gotten me replaced in Gorillaz, she even made me record a video for the brit awards where I had to lie about how I was in a British Prison. It makes me angry. And as you know, when I'm angry I'm hard to break. What I'm trying to say is, I'm still strong baby and this blip is pumping me up to get out of here sane. 

I guarantee you. I promise you (f/n). I swear to you. We will see each other again, as soon as I get out. I'm coming for you. We will continue our lives and get married and live a long and happy life together. I promise. (F/n), I've never met anyone like you and I don't ever want to loose our relationship.

~Murdoc Niccals'

You feel empowered after reading this and with haste go to read letter number 2.

Letter 2:

'Hello my sweet angel,

This week has been incredibly difficult. I take back everything I've said in the last letter related to coming and finding you. If you knew of the things Paula does, you'd understand. But equally I don't have anything to fight for anymore. Paula told me the truth about you. She told me that you said you don't want to write back to me as you don't care enough to be involved with me. I understand, I've taken you through a lot (f/n), it's been a long tough ride. But if you don't have the care to write back, I don't have the care to live. 

I want to die. This earth has been degrading me since the day I dumpster dived into existence at the back of my dad's pub. I wish I could say I hate you, but the truth is I don't. I love you so much that it makes my heart ache every time the image of your face enters my mind. 

I don't know what else to say aside good bye.

~Murdoc Niccals'

Streams of tears are running down your face and you feel a sharp pain in your chest. You can't believe Paula's broken Murdoc down like this and taken him to such a low. You're enraged that Paula was lying to him about you not writing back. But you continue. You pick up letter 3 and open it.

Letter 3:

Letter 3 doesn't have any writing in it. It merely has two large circle eyes drawn on it with it's pupils looking upwards. You're very confused as to what it means. Look up? Is that what Murdoc's trying to tell you? You're unsure. You stow letter 1 and 2 in a compartment of your side table. You then stare at letter 3 and deeply contemplate what it means.