Thorns & Roses (Legolas Love Story)

11. Containment

Darkness scares us. We yearn for the comfort of light as it provides shape and form, allowing us to recognize, to define what’s before us. But what is it we’re afraid of, really? Not the darkness itself–but the truth we know hides within.

All too often, we mask truth in artifice, concealing ourselves for fear of losing the ones we love. We hide behind that which brings us comfort from pain and sadness, or use it to repel a truth too devastating to accept.

***

“Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you.”

The sweet, solemn prayer that Lord Elrond uttered sent us off on our journey.

I looked at him for one last time, our eyes met and the elven lord’s gaze harden at me in silence warning.

‘Remember your oath’.

I nodded at him in understanding, silently promising him and myself that I would. Then his gaze softened at me, and the fatherly, warm smile etched back across his aged but youthful face.

All of a sudden a pang of sadness entered my chest upon gazing at the face of the wise elf that had welcomed me in Rivendell with such kindness that was more than I deserve.

My green eyes met his thousand years eyes. And at that moment, despite the immortality that he possessed, I suddenly noticed the deep creases on the lines of his youthful face, the ones that were formed not by age but by hardships and centuries worth of life’s bittersweet experiences.

Looks are truly deceitful.

He was old. Very old. And for some reason, I just came to realize this now.

And to my dismay, I just realized that I had grown to actually see him more than just an acquaintance or someone that I just associate to in order to keep a status quo.

I remembered coming to Rivendell with one objective: infiltrate the Fellowship. No matter the cost. I even managed to threaten the great lord of Rivendell himself.

“Sara?”

“Just a moment,” I muttered to David with a timeout gesture and walked back towards the Lord of Imladris.

Lord Elrond kept his neutral expression as I came to him. I knew I have to say something–anything to him, but as I was face to face with the wise elf for one last time, I absolutely had no idea what to say.

Lord Elrond looked at me, waiting patiently for me to say something.

So I ended up with the lamest topic I’ve ever come up with.

“Do you remember the little dent on the steps towards your study room?”

Lord Elrond raised his eyebrow in question, as if wondering what was so important about such trivial topic that I delayed my journey. Though his poker face was perfect, his eyes glinted a bit with mild amusement.

“The one which you got stumbled upon at least a couple times?” he asked, but his expression remained neutral that I didn’t know whether he was teasing me or not. With elves like him, usually it’s hard to tell.

I sighed. “Yes.”

Again, the wise elf gave me a questioning look. I drifted my eyes away momentarily as I continued.

“You really should have that dent fixed. If you trip over it you might slip down the stairs and injure yourself–or anyone else for that matter…” I trailed.

Obviously, I wasn’t very good at expressing what I truly feel with words that I felt almost sorry for myself. I tried not to cringe.

“You underestimate us elves, Sara. We have excellent coordination and balance.”