Free to Love

Chapter 44

Shawn

The drive back to Toronto was a bit strained. Joanna and I had fixed breakfast together without mentioning the kiss. The kids had been there, and we'd been occupied with cooking, so it was easy play it off like nothing had happened. Now that we were sitting side by side in the car, I could feel the tension. I wasn't sure if it was sexual tension on her part, but it was on mine.

Joanna and I may not have discussed the kiss, but it was very much on my mind. I kept thinking about how it made me feel. I'd forgotten what those fireworks felt like. I hadn't had that feeling since my wife had died. More than that, I was thinking about how much I wanted to kiss her again.

We got back to the condo and carried our stuff inside. Joanna went to the guest room, claiming she had a headache. I started on the laundry.

Late that afternoon, Aaliyah and Alec showed up to take the kids to dinner and a movie since they hadn't seen them for awhile. After they left, I went in the kitchen to see if there was anything that Joanna and I could eat. There wasn't much, so I decided to run to the grocery store. I figured we could have a quiet dinner together and maybe discuss what had happened the night before.

As I opened my door to leave for the store, I saw Evans standing there in the hall.

"Mendes!" he said, surprised by my sudden appearance.

"Hey man. What's up?" I asked.

"Is Joanna here? Her mom said she's been staying with you."

"Um, yeah, but she has a headache. She might be napping."

"Can I come in and talk to her?" he asked. I was still standing in the doorway and he was in the hall.

"Okay, but let me see if she wants to see you," I said, letting him in.

Evans followed me past the foyer and into the kitchen.

"Is something going on between the two of you?" he blurted out.

My back had been to him. I slowly turned to face him and saw he looked a little angry.

"Why would you think that?"

"She was at your other house this week with you and your kids, right? She's been here for over a month. It feels, I don't know, off to me," he said.

"We're just friends. She needed a place to stay and someone to talk to. That's it."

Except for the kiss, but he didn't need to know about that.

"Good. Because I want her back. I don't know if we should move back in together right away, but I miss her and want to try to work things out."

I stared at him for a second. "Do you even love her?"

"What?"

"I asked if you love her, but I'm pretty sure I know the answer. I don't think you do," I said.

"This isn't your business," he said hostilely.

"Except it kind of is. She's my friend, one of my best friends, and I care about her. You don't deserve her if you don't love her. She's one of the most incredible women I've ever met, and you just threw her away because you didn't like what a real relationship felt like," I said, my voice rising with each sentence. "Only a fool would let someone like her go. She's smart and beautiful and caring. Only a fool would toss her aside, or maybe someone who never loved her like she should be loved!"

"I made a mistake," he said sadly. "I miss her."

"A month! It took you a month to realize you'd lost someone special? I get having fights. Believe me, I do. Mallory and I had a lot of them at first. I could never have walked away for a month. A month says you don't love her. A month says you miss having a girlfriend. It doesn't mean you miss her!"