Free to Love

Chapter 47

Joanna

"I was thinking I'd come over tonight, if that works for you," I said into my phone. It had only been four days since I'd seen Shawn last, but I needed some time with him. He was a little addictive.

Shawn hesitated before answering. "Tonight's not a great night. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Oh, of course. I only suggested tonight since I have parent meetings before school on Thursday and Friday, so those days will be crazy, and I'll need my sleep. We can just skip meeting up at night this week. I'll see you Friday, right?"

Shawn and the kids left for their country house on Saturday mornings for their weekends away, so Fridays were my night to see him.

"I'm sorry, Jo. I hate to wait until Friday to see you, but like I said, tonight's no good," he said apologetically.

My gut told me this had something to do with his wife.

"Was today a special day for you and Mallory?" I asked, knowing that I might be overstepping.

He sighed into the phone, and I was pretty sure he was running his free hand through his hair based on how he always seemed to do that when he was at a loss for words.

"Forget I asked," I said quickly. "Call me tomorrow. Bye!" I then hung up.

I'd definitely overstepped. Dammit.

I was about to go start cooking my dinner when I heard 'Nervous' playing on my phone. It was Shawn's assigned ringtone.

"Hi," I said as I accepted the call.

"You hung up too fast. Are you mad at me?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

"No! Not at all. I just feel like I crossed a line. I'm really sorry I asked about Mallory," I replied.

"You didn't cross a line, and I don't want us to have lines that can get crossed."

"I don't either, but I can see how my question might have been invasive. I'm sorry."

"Don't say you're sorry, hun. And yes, tonight is about Mal. It's the anniversary of the day we met. On this day each year, I like to spend some time looking at pictures and thinking about her. That's probably crazy, right?"

I felt a huge lump form in my throat. "It's not crazy at all. It's actually really lovely that you do that."

I meant that. It said so much about Shawn that he did this kind of thing. I felt the same way about the projected message he did on their anniversary. He loved her and wanted to pay tribute to that love.

But at the same time, it hurt a little. Our relationship was new and I had no idea where we were headed, but if things got really serious, his annual memorialization of his wife could be difficult for me. Maybe that made me petty. How could I be jealous of a dead person?

"How about this," Shawn said. "I'll see if Aaliyah and Alec can babysit for a couple hours on Wednesday or Thursday night. I'll say I'm going out for drinks, but I'll come visit you. That way it won't be really late and you'll get your sleep. If we have a drink, what I told Aaliyah won't be a lie."

"That seems like a lot of trouble for us to meet up. I hate to inconvenience them."

"I want to see you."

"I want to see you, too." This was an understatement.

"I'll call Aaliyah and will let you know if they are free. Okay?"