Free to Love

Chapter 2

Shawn

Traveling to Hawaii as a family was harder than I'd anticipated. We flew to LA and stayed there overnight before taking a second flight to Honolulu and then a short hop to Lana'i. We'd chosen that island because it was the most remote. Privacy was key.

Gracie was pretty agreeable on both flights. She had a cranky moment here and there, but for the most part she was content as long as we played with her. Occasionally she slept, which was the best thing ever for us and the other passengers.

By the time the car dropped us off at our beach house, Gracie was about to have a total meltdown and Mal was ready to collapse. I tipped the driver and got all of our stuff inside. We were starving. Thankfully, we had a golf cart to use for the two weeks and it could get us to the small section of town with restaurants. We'd made arrangements online to have groceries delivered tomorrow.

"Dinner then bed," Mal said as we walked to the golf cart. She held on tightly to Gracie as I slowly drove along the path, following the GPS directions to the closest restaurant.

Once Grace was in a high chair and had food in front of her, she relaxed a bit. The same could be said for her mama after she had a tropical drink in front of her.

We tried some Hawaiian foods and enjoyed them immensely. We both loved the poke most of all.

"I can't wait to hit the beach tomorrow," I said as I sat back in my chair, my stomach full.

"Me, too. I love swimming in the ocean," Mal said happily.

I felt a surge of anxiety. "No swimming too far out, though."

Mallory laughed at me. "I know. I know. You are terrified of deep water. I won't go out far. I promise."

"Okay. Good. I'm here because I need to relax. If I see you swim way out I will leave Hawaii in worse shape than when I got here!" I said.

Not that I was in terrible shape emotionally; I was just run down. Touring was amazing but exhausting. Flying home every couple of weeks was a blessing and a curse. I loved seeing my girls, but the additional flights were tough. The best part of the tour was when Mal and Grace were with me. I was really hoping that we could travel as a family of four the next time I did a big tour. I still had a couple two-week legs to do later this fall. I was going to South America and Oceania/Asia. I was trying to convince Mal to come to South America, but she wasn't biting. If she got pregnant, she definitely wouldn't go.

"We should get back to the house. I know it's only 5:30, but we're six hours behind Toronto. I'm pooped and Grace is about to fall asleep in that high chair," Mal said.

On our way out, I convinced the bartender (with a huge tip and an autographed cocktail napkin) to make my wife and I two potent drinks in to-go cups.

Our beach house had two bedrooms. Gracie's room was outfitted with a crib. We brought the baby monitor, so as soon as we set that up, we put her to bed. She was so tired that she didn't mind the new room at all.

"Let's go sit out on the patio and watch the ocean," I suggested as I picked up the drinks.

Mal grabbed the monitor and followed me. We sat down side by side in the comfortable lounge chairs, and I handed her one of the drinks.

"I could get used to this," she said as she sighed contentedly.

"I told you we should buy a place."

"This is way too far away, though. There's got to be a beach house that's lovely but closer."

"I agree. That was a lot of flying with a child. I do those long flights all the time, but I just sleep or watch movies. Grace wasn't about to let us do either," I said.

"And we might have another within the year," Mal added.

I smiled. "I can't fucking wait. It sucks our plans fell apart to get pregnant in May, but maybe this is better. It was two years ago that we made Gracie, after all."

"Thanks to your weak pull-out game," she teased, which told me she was feeling the affects of her pineapple-laden drinks.

"Don't insult my game. I've got control!"

"Your 'control' is currently sleeping in a crib in a bedroom behind you."

I couldn't help but laugh. She was right.

Mal and I frequently debated the idea of fate. I believed that when I walked past her the day we met at a music festival in her college town that it was meant to be. I felt the same way about her accidentally getting pregnant later that night. Fate brought us together and insured we stayed together by giving us Gracie.

Mallory, ever the logical-minded skeptic, believed that it was all coincidence and that we were lucky that it all turned out so perfect in the end.

It wasn't an argument either of us could win, but we enjoyed going back and forth about it periodically. It kind of summed up how we were. I was more of a romantic dreamer, and even though her love was fierce, it was also fairly grounded. When we'd had our numerous struggles as newlyweds, I'd wanted to follow our hearts and desires, while she followed her brain, which kept trying to protect her from getting hurt.

We balanced each other well. I was head over heels in love with my wife, and she was equally as crazy about me. When we were separated while I was touring, late at night I'd be alone with my thoughts. I'd start thinking about how huge the world is and how there are billions of people. I'd found the one person who was perfect for me; no one else out there could possibly make me as happy as Mallory did.

"Hey Mal," I said softly.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

She set her drink down on the wicker end table and got out of her lounge chair. She climbed on top of me so that she was straddling my hips. We'd probably been in this position at least 500 times, but it still sent electric sparks through me as if it were new.

"Hey Shawn," she said, her voice husky.

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

She shifted slightly and I groaned. God I wanted her. I looked around. Sure our patio was secluded, but was it private enough for what I wanted to do?

"I need you, baby," I said into her ear as I pulled her hair back so that I'd have access to her neck.

It was her turn to moan as I gently sucked on the tender skin below her ear.

I was about to pull her shirt off when I heard voices. Mal heard them, too, and quickly got off me. We looked towards the beach and saw a family walking along the water's edge. It was still daylight. We'd almost gone too far.

"When it's dark one night, we're recreating this moment," I said as I stood up. "For now, our bed is going to have to do."

I grabbed her hand and led her inside. I'd get the nearly-empty cups later. Right now there was a very real sense of urgency for me. I desperately needed to get my beautiful wife naked and try to impregnate her.

"You in a hurry?" she asked as I tugged her towards the master suite. I let go of her hand once we were in our room with the door shut.

"You might be ovulating, right?" I asked as I pulled off my shirt.

"I think so. But it's not like there's a five minute window. Relax, babe. We have all night."

"I'm relaxed. I'm also a little excited right now."

"You can be both?" she asked.

I decided to show her rather than explain it.