Free to Love

Chapter 68

Shawn

My short summer festival tour run was fantastic. Each show was better than the last, and I could feel the excitement build with every performance. In some ways, I was at the top of my game. Age had given me a confidence I didn't have before.

It was fucking amazing to travel with my family. Gracie and Nolan were so good about all of it. They didn't mind the long flights or bus rides, and they loved staying in hotels. We found that adjoining rooms worked best with Joanna staying in a room with Grace while I stayed with Nolan. This would have put a damper on our newlywed sex life, but sex was off the table right off the bat.

Joanna got pregnant right away. And she knew it. The day before she'd even missed her period, she was throwing up prior to breakfast, her boobs hurt, and she had a migraine-level headache. I assumed she'd caught the flu, but she insisted that she was pregnant. She just knew. A test purchased in Seattle during a stop there confirmed it. We found out in our hotel bathroom and hugged each other as we cried happy tears. She puked a minute later while I held her hair.

We probably would have enjoyed the news a little more if she wasn't miserable. I felt so guilty for being responsible for her discomfort. She laughed at me when I tried to apologize and said it took two to tango. She also said it was worth it, and that no matter how rough it was, she couldn't wait to do it again when we were ready to have another.

At first I had some trouble with how sick she was. It was far too reminiscent of Mallory's last round of chemo. Joanna was losing weight and looked gaunt. It was like history was repeating itself, though obviously she wasn't sick; she was pregnant. I kept telling myself it would eventually pass and that we'd have a baby because of it.

After a couple weeks in she figured out that eating toast right away (literally before she even got out of bed) and drinking room temperature ginger ale helped. She got the vomiting under control enough that it only happened once or twice a day.

It's not like her condition ruined the tour. Like I said, it was fantastic. We kept the news of her pregnancy quiet and told everyone she had issues with being both carsick and airsick. No one questioned that, or at least kept quiet to our faces if they had their suspicions.

We returned home at the very end of summer. Joanna had quit her teaching job right before we'd gotten married. It had been a tough decision, but it made sense. Now that she was pregnant (and so sick from it), we were especially thankful she'd left teaching.

We got the kids ready for school by buying them new clothes and supplies, and before we knew it, we were walking through the elementary school door for their first day. Grace was now in 3rd grade and Nolan was in 1st.

"It's weird coming to the school now that I don't work here," Joanna said as we walked down the hall.

The other teachers were so happy to see her, giving her hugs and asking how our summer had been. We ran into Evans by the gym. He and Brooke were still going strong and had come to our wedding. It would have been awkward if they weren't so happy together. The fact that we all ended up with the right person erased any tension.

After depositing Grace and Nolan in their classes, we went home to our child-free house.

"I miss them," Jo said as she made herself some more toast.

"It takes a while to get used to them not being here," I said. "I always have a tough time the first week of school."

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Shawn?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I just realized that I don't feel as sick today. Do you think something's wrong? What if I'm not pregnant anymore?" she asked, her voice getting slightly frantic.