Free to Love

Chapter 49

Joanna

Shawn threw me off balance slightly when he asked if any part of me wanted to say yes to Evan's proposal.

"Honestly? It was very weird for me. I went over a year hoping day after day that Evans would ask me to marry him. We thought we were in love. I mean, we even lived together. It was all I wanted," I said.

A pained look formed on Shawn's face.

I took his hand in mine and continued, "But at the same time, I was definitely developing feelings for you at the end. And now we're together, and I'm so happy. No part of me wanted to tell Evans yes. It never even crossed my mind to accept his proposal. It still hurt to tell him no, because he and I had something serious. Does that make sense?"

He nodded. "It does."

"Last night, after Evans and I said goodbye, I thought about driving straight up here. I really needed to see you."

"I wish you had," he said.

"But I think I needed a little time to think through it all. It's been a crazy couple of months. The longest relationship I've ever been in fell apart, and I jumped right into another with one of my best friends."

"Do you think you need space? Are you saying we rushed things? Because I can back off, honey. I'll give you time if that's what you need."

I got up from my chair and sat down on Shawn's lap. I put my hands behind his neck, and entwined my fingers in his curls. I then kissed him slowly and deeply.

I pulled away. "I don't need space, Shawn. Right now, I want there to be no space between us. None. In fact, I want nothing separating us at all, not even our clothes. Can we go to bed?"

~~~~~~

I woke up with a start and looked at my phone which was on the table next to Shawn's bed. It was almost 5:00 AM.

As I carefully pulled the covers off my naked body and started to slip out of the bed, Shawn grabbed my wrist.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"Its time for me to sneak back to my room. I can't believe we fell asleep."

Shawn pulled me towards him. I didn't resist. I wanted to stay in his arms.

"The door is locked. I need you again," he said before he started kissing my shoulder blade.

"This is risky," I said.

"It's worth the risk," he said as he started to stroke my body.

As I tiptoed down the hall to take a much-needed shower after we'd finished, I was glad he'd been so insistent.

A few hours later, we were eating breakfast together. I'd made my grandmother's biscuits and gravy recipe, which had been a favorite of the kids over the summer.

It was a warm early fall day, so we decided to spend the whole day in the pool instead of heading back to Toronto.

Late in the afternoon, we finally hit the road for the city. I had my car, so we said our goodbyes outside the house. We couldn't hug and kiss like we both wanted, so instead we had several seconds of intense eye contact as the kids climbed in the car.

"Text me when you get home," he said.

"Will do," I said. "But given how slowly you drive, I might be texting you before you even hit Toronto."

"Ha ha. Just because I don't drive like a maniac doesn't mean I drive slowly. I'm cautious when my kids are in the car."

"Okay, grandma."