Love Online

Tragic

~6 PM~

Darkness. Loneliness. Pain. Hurt. Maybe I didn't deserve this, but my mind was telling me that I did. My mind kept replaying the events of earlier like a movie. It all seemed to happen so fast. But, every time it would replay it seemed that only two things stuck out as important. One; that heartbreaking reality that my mother had just admitted she would be perfectly fine if I overdosed and died. And two; the fact that Adrian was in the hallway next to the kitchen the whole time. Listening and being one hundred percent aware of what was going on in the kitchen the whole time and, yet, he did nothing. He didn't even attempt to convince my mother to calm down or even try to get her off of me during my beatings. No, he stood there. 

~6:30 PM~

Suddenly, I was awoken by the loud slam of the front door and the screeching of tires as it appeared that my mother was off to the club to enjoy her night. Now was my chance to escape and never return to this house of horrors.

Painfully and agonizingly I pulled myself off the cold blood covered floor. As soon as my body straightened I regretted leaving the floor, instantly pain shot through every vein and bone of my body. A small gasp of shock and hurt left my swollen lips as my hands gripped the kitchen chair hard in an attempt to keep me standing. 

"...Dan?" 

The "innocent" voice angered me. I knew who it was. The owner of this voice deserved and got no reply. Quietly and carefully I made my way to my room, my eyes slowly pacing around looking for some reason that I had to stay here. Without hesitation, I grabbed my suitcase from under my bed and proceeded to pack everything I wanted/needed from this imprisonment. When the bag was fully packed I hesitantly made my way up the stairs and towards the door, hoping this would be the last time I ever entered or left through them. 

"Dan wait!" 

I didn't want to wait, I wanted to go home. My true home, with Sydney and my dad. A place where I was treated like a person and not a maid, a place where I had a say as well as the respect of those around me. 

"Dan. Stop." Suddenly, a hand took hold of my arm in the small attempt to force my wait. 

"Adrian stop. I... I have to go." I felt my voice shake, as small innocent tears pricked my eyes. I didn't really want to leave him here, but at the same time, I wanted him to burn in the firey pits of hell for all he's done to me. 

I turned to face him, his face was filled with fear and woe. " Dan please, you-you don't have to go! We'll work this out I promise! It was just a one-time thing, she-she loves you honest! I was downstairs w-when it went down, I didn't know I-" 

I shook my head, slowly, bringing my eyes to meet his. "Adrian... You're supposed to be my brother. You're supposed to be on m-my side. I don't want to hear your lies, I know y-you were in the other room when it all went down..." Sudden panic seemed to flush over his face at my words. I sighed as a single tear slipped down my bruised cheek, " I've protected you, I've helped you, I've done everything for you all these years. And... When-when I need your help, when I need you... You hide behind a wall like a coward." I shook my head as I ripped my arm from his grasp and took hold of the doorknob, "You can do one of two things. Either grow a pair of balls and act like the man I know you are and stand up for yourself and others. Or, you can hide behind everything Kate does for the rest of your life and be as pathetic as you are right now. But... Me? I'm not sticking around this shit show. I want something from my worthless life." 

~9 PM~

I suppose it's hard hiding bruises and marks from your family when you live with them and all but when I arrive home, I didn't really have that issue. Granted, I didn't enter my dad's house through the door like a normal person. See, I always leave my window unlocked, in case of getting locked out or losing my keys, anyway, I crawled through the small hole avoiding everyone that was in the house. What I didn't anticipate was my step mum hearing me and coming downstairs to scold me and instead found me in the state that I was. "Holy shit! David! Get down here now!" Her usually calm and collective voice now was flooded and dripping in worry and panic. 

As quickly as I could manage I got to my feet and rushed to her side, "No! No, No please Sydney shh!! Don't tell my dad! He'll-"

"I'll what? Holy fuck! Daniel Howell! What happened to you!?" My father's voice matched Sydney's in both sound and concern as he instantly ran to my side and examined my face, "Who did this to you!? Why would someone do this to you!?"

I panicked and stepped back to face them both, "N-No one did anything to me dad, honest! I-I fell down a flight of stairs, yeah, yeah I f-fell..." I could tell they weren't buying my horribly told story because the look on my father's face was now furious and coated with worry. 

"Daniel James Howell. Who did this to you!? Please, don't make me ask you again..." 

My eyes met his, then Sydney's and I couldn't hold my composure any longer. Within seconds I found myself crouched on the floor, crying like I'd never cried before. My heart was shattered. My hope was gone and my life was crumbling into pieces before my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it. Instantly, both my father and Sydney were crouched on the ground arms holding me close to their bodies in the attempt to comfort me. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to! I didn't think she'd-" My efforts to hold myself together slipped through my fingers like the wind. 

~2 AM~

After hours of trying to calm me down as well as the countless failed strives to try and get me to say what had happened, eventually, the story was out and I was curled up in my bed watching my dad and step mum sit across from me discussing what to do. I wasn't paying attention, I didn't want to. I slight nudge on my shoulder snapped me back into reality.

"Dan, what do you think we should do?" Sydney spoke, her soft voice was soothing. 

Slowly, I shook my head and looked her in the eyes, "Nothing. It was just a one-time thing. She was drunk, I smelt it, it'll be okay I promise. We... We don't have to do anything rash." 

"Daniel, how could you defend her!? Look at how she treated you!? Drunk or sober that's one fucked up thing especially for your moth-"

"Kate," I muttered

My dad and Sydney looked over at me confused, but then shrugged it off, as Sydney placed her hand on my shoulder, "Daniel... You're a grown man. And like your father I trust you in the decisions you make so..." She shot my father a look and then turned back to face me, "If... If you don't really want us to press charges against her, we won't. However, if this is how she regularly treats you, tell us now." I shook my head, she sighed, "Alright then. But promise me something yeah?" I nodded and smiled slightly, "Promise me you'll come to us if you ever need to. Even if it's not about this situation. If you're feeling down, whatever, okay?" 

I smiled and nodded, they said their goodnights and headed upstairs to sleep. 

Somehow I couldn't believe them. Couldn't believe that they didn't see through my lies. Saying I was "fine", a word I've used way too often in the past years. I felt pathetic. Their supposed to be my parents, people who see through you and help you as soon as they see a sign of pain, I know my dad and Sydney care and all but they dismiss it. So, as usual, when family fails me I turn to one of few places that make me feel wanted. 

Flipping open my laptop, the bright screen blinding my eyes as I opened Twitter. I suppose it's sort of messed up to Tweet about depression in some ways but, fuck it. Quickly typing a small and simple message before hesitantly hitting send/upload. Sighing as I shut the laptop down and covered my bruised body in my duvet before finally drifting off to sleep.