Love Online

Turn On The Light

~5:30 AM~

I suppose it never really dawned on me the consequences of my comment to Phils Tweet, but then again I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. Any secrets I have are open to everyone anyway, anyone who thinks they know me could use that information to their own personal gains. Sleepily I forced my body sideways as my arms made their way towards my laptop. Flipping the screen open to Twitter, in the corner of my the orange "DM" button lit with the number five beside it. My heart skipped several beats when I saw the nametag. Phil!? Phil sent me a message!? What!? Why!? Oh, my god!? At this point, I was "fanboying" to the level of extreme. 

From Amazingphil; "Hey, Daniel! I saw your comment on my Tweet and I just wanted to see if you're okay? I mean, if you need someone to talk to just hit me up, okay?"

He was checking if I... Was... Okay!? HOLY SHIT! My heart was racing, trying to catch up with my mind as it finally clicked in my head. My idol, literally the only reason I'm still alive right now, was making sure I, Daniel James Howell, a no one, was okay!? I had to reply, right? I mean that'd be the polite thing to do I mean he's obviously concerned, right? Or is it pity for me? Is Phil taking pity on me? N-No, that's not the Phil I know. Still, somewhere deep in my mind keeps that thought, just in case I'm wrong. Hands shaking as my fingertips met the keyboard, my heart rate increasing minute by minute until my index finger hit the "Send" button. 

Sent From Danisnotonefire;"Hi, Phil! Umm... Yeah, I'm okay :) Thank you so much for caring, not many people do, but I commented because it's true and you're my idol and I didn't know how to thank you. LOLZ."

When my eyes looked upon my screen at what I had sent, it felt like I was going to pass out, I just admitted to my idol that he's my idol and what's worse, I said "LOLZ"... WHO SAYS "LOLZ" IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS!? Obviously me. Suddenly, a small "BING" echoed through my small room, my eyes immediately darted to my laptop screen, he replied to my message!? Just like that!? 

From Amazingphil; "Okay cool :) I'm honored. Also, I guess you could say I'm an overly cautious person haha!"

I felt a small smile tug at my lips as my fingers once again met the keyboard.

Sent From Danisnotonfire; "I suppose we all are like that from time to time haha!"

From Amazingphil; "Ha ha! Ain't that the truth haha! It's nice to have a normal conversation with one of my fans finally. :) Usually, they're all girls trying to send me dirty photos :( "  

I felt bad for him. Like it hurt my heart that some, not saying all, but some of his fans do that to someone like him. I mean, the internet is great for meeting people and learning new things and all but at the same time, it's kind of fucked really because it's dangerous. You don't know who the other person is on the other side of the screen, unless like, something such as Skype is great for meeting people and finding out that they're real. 

Sent From Danisnotonfire; "Yeah, I don't understand why people do that honestly. Like if you look up to someone why on earth would you send them pictures of your body? Like it's disrespectful, but that's my opinion :/" 

From Amazingphil; "Thank you! You're the first person I've talked to that sees things that way as well!"

Sent From Danisnotonfire; "Haha! I have to go to work but... umm... Maybe we can talk later if you'd like? I mean if not that's cool I was just wondering..."

From Amazingphil; "Yeah, sure sounds cool :) Have fun at work xD"

I could feel my heart beating in my chest, either with anxiety that he was lying or with the slight hope that he was being truthful with me. And being honest, I hope he was lying. Now, I know that sounds super weird and confusing but to me, it was normal for people to let me down, and I think it'd be better if I didn't get my hopes up. I mean especially in this situation, Phil, he's famous, so like why would he want to talk to a nobody like me? He wouldn't exactly, end of discussion. 

Lazily, I forced myself out of my warm bed to get dressed and face the day. The sweet smells of bacon and pancakes filled my lungs as I made my way up the wooden stairs towards the kitchen, Sydney noticed me and smiled. "How was your sleep, Dan?" 

"It was okay, thanks." I smiled, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the smile on my face was genuinely happy. I thanked Sydney for breakfast and headed to work, for some people five in the morning seems unreasonable for working hours but I have one of the morning shifts. 

~7 AM~

Once we had opened and more of our staff started to pour in I was finally allowed to go on break. Sighing deeply as I poured a mug of coffee and proceeded to pig out on cookies and cupcakes, that was until my phone buzzed. Isn't it funny how fast one small thing can change your whole mood? 

From Adrian ✌️;      "Hey."

Sent From Dan;      "Ummm... Hi?"

From Adrian✌️;      "Why haven't you been home?"

Sent From Dan;      "I've been at school and working. As well as helping Sydney around the house. Why what's up?"

From Adrian ✌️;     "Bullshit Dan."

Sent From Dan;     "Excuse me?"

From Adrian ✌️;      "You heard me. Dan we both know you haven't been home because you're scared."

Sent From Dan;     "Scared? Of what? You? As if."

From Adrian ✌️;      "Oh no Dan, not of me. Of mum."

Sent From Dan;     "Why would I be scared of her? She knows I'm ditching class. What else am I hiding?"

From Adrian ✌️;      "Dan I'm just trying to help you. Mum, she... She... :("

Sent From Dan;      "She what? What did she do?"

From Adrian ✌️;       "Dan, she... She came home drunk the other night and she was convinced you were 'hiding' in your bedroom. So, she... She searched it, literally, she TORE the room apart. And she found something. I don't know what she found, she won't tell me drunk or sober. But, I think it could be your pills from when you tried to overdose the other week... :( Anyway, you might want to come home tonight and find out what it is. I... I just thought you should know... I'm sorry..."

Sent From Dan;      "I-I... I'll be over when I get off work... Thanks, Adrian..."

My heart dropped. Adrian knew I had tried to overdose? And he didn't call anyone? Was he in the house when I did it? He had to be... But then, why didn't he help me? Why did he not do anything? Anything at all...? Had he really, just not even care? Must have, right? If he was sending me and telling me these things against my mum... Right?