Love Online

Full Faith

It surprised me how calm my parents were when I finally got into their heads, what made my heart skip was actually the fact that we were having a conversation and, thank god, they weren't arguing or yelling at one another. Placing my cup down on the coffee table I gathered what little courage I had and sighed, "So, umm, the reason I called you two over is actually for an important reason, and like please if it pisses you off just... Save it till the end of everything." They nodded, concern washed over their faces, "So, I met someone," 

"Oh Daniel, I knew the right girl would come along eventually! Who is it?" Kate's voice was overflowing with joy.

"I-It's not a girl..." With just four words her face switched emotions like a light-switch, "It's a guy, his name is Phil and I-I met him online,"

"Daniel James-"

"He's four years older than I am... I met him through Twitter, we've been talking for almost what feels like a year, well actually," A soft small smile formed across my face as I remembered the first time I had clicked on one of Phil's videos, "he's a YouTuber, I've been watching his videos ever since he started posting them and he knows me and I know him." Their faces were mortified by what I said next, "And I'm leaving in three days to hop on a train and go visit him in Rawtenstall for a couple weeks." 

Both my dad and Kate looked at one another, horror written all over their faces, anger flooding their eyes but also a hint of disappointment. "Daniel you can't go to Rawtenstall." 

"W-what?"

My dad sighed as he looked over at Kate, as she nodded in approval, "Daniel your father and I don't usually agree on a lot of things but, it seems that we're both on the same page for this one. You can't trust everyone on the internet, especially with all the predators out there, you're still young and you can't be traveling the country just to meet up with someone you met online. It's simply illogical, I promise you though we do indeed have your best interests at heart and I-"

"Shut up!" Her face looked like she had seen someone getting struck by a bus, "Neither of you has my best interests at heart otherwise you would've never let me move into my own flat! You know how I know that you both don't honestly care? Because, that night I tried to overdose you, Kate, were upstairs having sex with a random dude when you could've helped me! Even after you both found out what I do and what I did, normal parents would send their kid to counseling or a mental hospital but no, you two just brush it off like it never happened! So to say you have my best interests is utter and complete bullshit!" Tears flooding my eyes as I stood up and pointed to the front door, "You... You both need to go..." Without another word they both got up and left, evidently, I expected one of them to turn to me with rage and demand that I 'think about this' but neither one did. 

Slamming the door behind them caused several tears to spill from my eyelids, eyes to the floor as that familiar lump forcing itself into my throat once more, the only thing keeping me upright was my hands against the door. A sudden ringing of a distant phone snapped me out of my moment, lifting my head just barely to see it Phil's number was the one causing my phone to spaz out, I wanted so bad to run and answer it but something deep in my gut held me back, my mind holding my body in place as the voicemail played out loud. "Hey Dan, Sydney just called me... I'm so sorry, don't listen to them okay? We'll figure it out, we always do don't we? Ha, listen I know you're pretty distraught but when you feel better later give me a text or call me okay? I just want to make sure you're safe, anyway, stay safe." His voice sounded as if it was dripping with concern, I could practically see the worry on his face as he made the call, as if he was right in front of me. Emotions, reality, and my consciousness were running wild as I slowly made my way to the bathroom. If I had been thinking rationally beforehand I would never have done what I did in the events that followed.

~Hours Later~

Clothes scattered across the tiled floor, cupboards barely hanging on the hinges as they hung open, the dampness of water in the air that caused the mirror to fog up completely, and the faint sound of a faucet running. Eyes barely open and with little determination in them, the slow breaths leaving my mouth, my arms barely laying on the edge of the tub the crimson color painting the tub and the water as it drips from my wrists. I knew what I had done, I knew why I did it, however, I didn't know how I let it happen, where did all my willpower go in such a short span of time that I relapsed into something I had fought so hard to be rid of. The one thing I was sure of, Phil can never know. 

Dan; "Hey, Rachel..."

From Rachel; "Hey what's up?"

Dan; "I... I did something bad... And I leave in three days to meet Phil. He. Cannot. Be. Able. To See. Them."

From Rachel; "Ah, I understand... Meet me tomorrow at noon at the mall, we'll get you what you need. I love you bro, stay safe okay? <3"

Dan; "Okay I'll see you there. Love you too sis. And I will <3"