Love Online

Unbelievable

When we finally arrived home everyone was basically crawling all over Phil, trying way too hard to help him do the littlest tasks possible to man-kind.

~Half An Hour Later At Dad's House~

Phil and I were sat in my room playing Mario kart when Adrian tapped on the door, "Hey you guys dad is wondering if you wanna come to see a movie with us?"

"Do you want to? I know it's been a long trip today if you want we can stay here and pop our own popcorn and play video games?" The words practically leaped out of my mouth.

Phil just nodded, with his calm voice moving towards Adrian, "Yeah, we'll probably just stay here. I'll probably hit the hay soon anyway, I'm exhausted." With no further arugment, Adrian left the room and not too long after we could hear the main door to the house slowly shutting and the vehicle driving away. "Dan," Phil sighed, "is it just me or did your moth- I mean Kate, seem sort of, well I don't know 'off' tonight at the diner?" His voice was laced with concern as his eyes met mine, his hand slowly moving and taking hold of my own.

"It's just well, of course, she won't act on anything in public because she's terrified of being arrested. But she has never been happy with my choices, she absolutely hated the fact that I was going to see you, and I suspect the fact that I have my own flat plus that you'll be staying with me for a while isn't making her the least bit happy." I felt the weight of all of Kate's disapproval crashing on top of me as Phil squeezed my hand.

"Is that why we aren't at your flat right now?" His voice calmed me, but his eyes told another story, his deep blue pearls were flooded with worry and for some reason, it upset me that he was worried about me. Maybe that was because no one had ever worried for me before except Sydney.

"Yes.." I sighed, my mind trailed into my thoughts, there was never a single possibility of me escaping my life. Phil was my only escape, but he isn't going to be around forever, he'll find someone better and leave me in the dirt like everyone else. Suddenly Phil tightened his grip a little bit, however, he quickly released it, my eyes looking up to meet his ocean pearls. Without a single word he pulled me into a warm embrace, I'm pretty sure he knew what I was thinking but I'm glad the words stayed locked away.

~Later That Night~

No matter which way I seemed to take it always came back to the hangman's noose in the center of the maze. The ghost was more silent than the grave it arose from, staring with heavy-lidded eyes and a slack mouth. Her cheekbones accentuated the skeletal look and in her gaze, my mind was robbed of emotion. Instead of running, or screaming I stood more still than the mossy statue in the heart of the graveyard and just as cold. She beckoned with fingers that rapidly faded to only a suggestion of form. I passed each stone without taking account of the path until I stood in a place that was unrecognizable. She became more solid again, but this time her skin bore many silver scars, thick and jagged. I began to think new things, "I want to stay here with him, forever." The thought became a desire and my insides lit with an intensity to make it possible. My body crumpled to the dirt, leaves and mud met the side of my face and my knees curled up like an unborn. It was then I heard Phil shout my name, over and over. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come. He was frantic, yelling, scared. There seemed to only be one way out.

As I close my eyes all the light fades away and smudges into darkness until all there left is black. There is uncanny peace in this dark and I like it; this silence and composure brings my mind to rest from all the daily chaos. I wish on drifting away in the world of sweet dreams but instead, I am lead to the island of nightmares. This is the place where my past continues to spook me and my insecurities are the one that takes control all over me. I experience myself being teleported to another dimension. The air around me gets thinner and thinner until it becomes almost impossible to breathe. All of this is like the monsters under my bed, I know they are unreal but they still frighten me as if they are real. The voices growing louder, and louder, shaking the whole world...

"Phil will never love you..."
"You're a waste of space..."
"Worthless..."
"Weak..."
"Pathetic..."
"Should've killed yourself a long time ago..."
"Your mother is right to beat you..."