Spark Of Life

Chapter 32

It was two in the morning I still couldn't sleep. Matt was still asleep though, so I just got up and went to the living room. I couldn't get the thought out of my head. I could have died and left them not knowing their father, and him not knowing them. What if I would have died they would have been put in the system. I just kept thinking I was so busy saving everyone else I didn't even think of what would happen if I were gone, like were would they end up. All of a sudden I heard someone come down the stairs it was Andy. "What are you doing up" I asked him "had a hard time sleeping so I am going to get some water" he said "what about you mom" he asked me. "Couldn't sleep either I guess" I said he came over and sat on the couch next to me. "Mom are you okay" he asked "when I would get hurt how bad did I worry you" "we worried but never horribly because we knew you would be alright". "I am so sorry" I said to him. For thirteen years the boys and their sister didn't have anyone besides my firehouse family, and me because their dad didn't even know they were alive. But for  me to take so many risks and take the biggest one of all leaving them all alone was horrible of me. "Mom don't be sorry you are a hero, and we understood why you would give your life just so someone has a better chance at living" Andy said to me. I felt horrible for what I put them through. "Bud you kids shouldn't have had to even worry about me" I told him it was true they didn't grow up like every other kid. Half the time I was hurt or risking my life, and they had these friends who always had their parents home safe and sound every single night. "Mom what you do compared to our friends parents yes is more dangerous but more rewarding. You save lives you don't cook for people or build office buildings. You run in when their parents would run out. When we were eight and the building collapsed you saved us and our entire class even though you were hurt. Mom you are a better parent than most" he said then suddenly gave me a hug. Andy wasn't one of those who really ever hugged but he did. He then went to bed and I sat on the couch and fell asleep watching The Office (US). But this time instead of  dream I was having a loop of memories of the kids first thirteen years. 

Memory 1

It was my first night alone with the kids since they were born. Severide was out drinking with the rest of squad,Shay was on a date, and Herman was hunting. The kids were six months old now. Alex was asleep along with Andy, but Caleb wasn't. It was around 1am when Shay arrived back. "Gabby why are you still up" she asked me. "Couldn't sleep apparently neither could Caleb" I said to her. The night was hard when two would cry at a time but at least it wasn't all three. I had been back at work for three months now the kids came to work with me. I just sat there until he fell asleep in my arms. That night we both fell asleep on the couch. 

Memory 2

"Alex you need to talk to me" I said through the door. Now the kids were twelve. Alex came home upset and I didn't know why. She had locked herself in her room. From the outside I could hear her crying. Andy was to my right looking worried. Caleb was at school getting help in math. "Alex please" Andy begged he hated seeing her upset they were very close even as teens. The clock read 2:50 I had to leave for work so I made Andy promise to tell me what is going on and when they are ready to come to the firehouse. Today I was stepping in as Lieutenant on Truck 81 since Herman was out on a personal day. Five minutes into shift 81 got called out to a fire along with 131. Chief was busy so I was in charge of those from house 51. We beat truck 131 so I was in charge. Truck 81 was searching when I was upstairs we were finishing our first search in the building fire of a two story house. All of a sudden my radio went off "Dawson report" it was Chief. "I am finishing the last room chief" I told him. My radio started speaking again, but this time it wasn't Chief. "Mom it's Andy Alex is getting bullied at school that is what is going on" after I was about to reply the building gave. I fell to the first floor. When I woke up I had a broke  leg, arm, and four broken ribs. When I was better a few months later all of 51 showed up at the School to pick Alex up one day and the kid who was bullying her looked like we just punched him.After that he never messed with her. It also may have something to do with Andy being her protector along with Caleb. 

Those memories were kind of good. Now as they are getting older I am  glad they are so close those three I know will be okay without me or their dad as long as they have each other. But also from that day on I made a promise to myself that no matter what I would do all in my power to come home to them. But also to try to save everyone which may be a hard task, but I can do it because I have the motivation to save lives and make up for being so reckless before.  No matter what I would keep this promise.