Something Special {H.S.}

19: Starting Over III

Ellie's pov

Once again Harry insists on carrying me, but this time I don't have the strength nor the agility to argue with him.

He carries me into the house, ignores everyone else and takes me up the staircase and into a room. He then gently sits me up in a king sized bed with black silk sheets. He sits next to me, concern clear in his gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head trying to clear my jumbled thoughts. "I need to call my mom. I... I think something may be wrong. T-the dream that I had was horrific and I know that I sound stupid but, now I am very worried about her."

Harry takes my hand in his and squeezes it gently.

"It is not stupid at all, El. I completely understand. Sometimes you just have a gut feeling."

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself for what I'm about to do.

"I care about you Harry, and I trust you. So, I think you should know the truth about my family."

Conflict skitters arcoss his features, "Oh? Ellie, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

"I want to. Even Liam doesn't know the full extent of my mother's... condition, but I would like to share this with you."

Harry nods once. "Okay. I'm all ears."

I breathe out and take comfort of Harry's hands on mine. "Well, when I left for college I had no intention of coming back here. I mean at all. My father was a hard drug addict and he eventually left my mother and I. I never saw him again, which was fine by me. But after he left, my mother just kind of checked out. I pretty much had to take care of myself with the help of Liam and his parents. Even though I had them, I was incredibly angry with my mother. I thought, she cares more about my deadbeat father than she does about her own daughter, so I didn't have to care about her. I decided then that when I graduated high school, I would leave. When they told me that I was to graduate early, I took that opportunity and never turned back."

I take another deep breath, trying to keep my voice even.

"It was a couple of days after I graduated from college when I got a phone call from Liam's parents. They told me that they went over to our house to check on my mom and she, flipped out on them. She was violent and didn't recognize them and she eventually dissolved into a weeping mess. They told me that she was at the hospital and that I needed to come home immediately.

So I got a plane ticket and reluctantly came back to New Jersey. I mean, sure I was worried about her but at the time I had a deep seeded hatred for her. It sounds horrible, I know but I couldn't help it.

... my mother, her name is Mina, has early onset Alzheimer's disease. Although I honestly don't think that that is correct because every time I visit her, she barley remembers me if she does at all. I was forced to put her into a nursing home and she's only 54! I didn't have any other choice. We don't have any family except for my aunt Dorthy, but she died when I was little.

I have felt guilty every single day since then, at the fact that I left her in that damn nursing home. I mean, was it my fault that she has this disease? I wasn't there to watch her, I could have maybe caught on to it and prevented it. And even though it's painful for me, I have to know that at least she's alright. So there, that's my dark secret."

Harry instantly pulls me close into his tight embrace.

"It's not your fault, okay? In that entire situation, none of that was your fault. Unfortunately, things like that just happen in this cruel world."