F'N FABULOUS (Completed)

Shame

A/N This chapter may be triggering for some and may not be appropriate for all readers.

Saturday

So many things go through one's mind after an experience like that. Jessie was embarrassed that she didn't DO something or SAY something when it happened. It was like she forgot that she had a voice. 

Why was the first action just to stab the button?

She is a fierce Queen... who couldn't be bothered to stand up for herself?

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Disappointed. More like Disappointment.

It was like she was back in high school.  Chelsea was ripping off her cheer skirt and underwear. She was standing in the pyramid with people actually laughing at her. But then she had an excuse for not doing something or saying something. It was 'an accident' and she couldn't move lest someone gets hurt. 

Last night, she had no excuse.

Pathetic.

Stupid.

Disgusting.

A man.

She cried in the shower. The scalding pounding heat seared redness over her skin and she could still smell his funk. There was a knock on the door, probably the maintenance guy. She didn't answer.

Mel texted her.

Jake texted her.

Mel called six times.

She pounded on the door.

She yelled.

She called the actual police.

Jessie had to open the door then. She wore six layers of shirts and sweatpants and wrapped a blanket around her body like a cocoon. Her hair was matted and eyes bloodshot. Her mascara racooning, but she could barely speak. She was up all night replaying the moment beating herself up.

They asked her questions about what happened.

She tried to tell them she was fine. Her friend was overreacting.

They kept pushing though.

They saw the video.

They arrested him.

She should press charges.

She wouldn't. 

She deserved the shame. 

She should have told him before they kissed. This was her punishment.

The landlord did.

Greg blamed her. He had to pay a fine. He screamed at her and pounded the door telling her she ruined his life. That he bonded out just to make her life miserable. That because of her, he might get charged with a sex crime and a hate crime.

Jake and Derek came back on Sunday. They probably knew. They looked at her as if they did,-with pity. 

She stayed in her room with Mr. Floofer. He didn't judge her. Well, he did after the third day. He thumped at her and stopped flopping out until she finally took a shower.

She understood. It was gross.

She had felt gross.

She looked gross.

She was gross.

Why couldn't she be normal?

After her shower, she felt better. She grabbed her laundry and took it down to the laundry room. A stranger with short curly red hair stared at her. She glared.

Fuck him.

Fuck em all.

Can't she do her laundry in peace?

The laundry room had several machines. It was on the 10th floor and there were more down in the basement. A few washers were open. She sat on the folding table listening to the driers shake and tumble like fighting wolverines during mating season.

After it was done and folded, she actually saw Greg when she was heading back up.

The elevator dinged open.

He was alone. He glared.

She stood there like a gapping fish. Again.

"It's full." He stabbed the elevator close button.

He was the only one in there.

Not that she wanted to be in an elevator with him again.

She took the stairs.

She needed the exercise anyway.

She was getting fat and disgusting. 

No one would ever want to be with someone like her.