F'N FABULOUS (Completed)

Eat

Carrying the laundry basket, Jessie lumbered up the five floors. Panting she took a moment before opening the door to the hallway and pretended like nothing had happened.

When she stepped into the apartment, Jessie noticed Derek cooking like always. His back was to the door as he stirred something on the stove. Standing in jeans and a green polo he filled out and then some, she couldn't help but study how he moved. His jeans pressed tightly against his round butt as he swayed side to side.  It was mesmerizing. Until he turned and saw her. He stopped moving.

"Hey." His voice soft and tentative.

"Hey." She could barely stomach looking at him when his chestnut eyes were boring into her actual soul. He looked from her hair down to her legs.  

Analyzing? Was he trying to see it?  To see if he could tell now that he knows? He probably thinks she looks disgusting. She probably smelled it too. Her mind raced.

She had an overwhelming need to hide.  If she could have, she would have run into her room. But since that would be immature, she straightened her back, nodded and walked, quickly instead.

A soft knock came a few minutes later.  She had just placed the laundry basket down. She rushed to her side table for her spare deodorant. 

If he came in now, he would definitely smell her.  Maybe she should wrap herself in the blanket, so he couldn't see.  That would work.  

She sat on the bed ensuring everything was covered with her blanket.  Mr. Floofer jumped next to her taking advantage of the borrowing possibilities.  Apparently, it was play time regardless that she felt like she would better off if the blanket could become an invisible cloak hiding her from the world.  

He knocked again.  "Jessie?"

"Come in." She said finally.

He opened the door slowly. "I brought you some breakfast." He said holding a plate.  Saying anything would be useless as he didn't wait for her response before walking in. He sat on the foot of her bed and placed the plate in front of her with a fork.

The earthy potatoes and sweet green peppers quickly filled the room. Her stomach rumbled. Skipping dinner with the boys caught up to her, Jessie thought she was stealthy sneaking out of her room in the middle of the night to eat Fritos and Oreos but telling the boys that she ate with Mel instead.  All so she didn't have to face any of them.

"Eat."  He said.  She opened her mouth to say something, but he interrupted.  "I am under orders right now from Mel.  If she doesn't have photo proof of you eating, she would bring Beck's restraints to ensure you did." He put his hands up as if saying it was out of his hand.

Caught.

"Thank you." She sighed and took a bite.  It was amazing.  The onions and green peppers were sweet.  The potatoes crispy on the outside and exploded with starchy goodness on the inside.  She sighed again.

He took a pic with his cell.  She watched as he texted it to Mel.

"Anytime." He responded.

She expected him to ask how she was doing, but he didn't. He interacted with Mr. Floofer when the traitor decided to flop in front of his thigh again. The rabbit didn't move when Derek's big hands softly pet his little white forehead. And Mr. Floofer doesn't like to be touched when he flopped, but with Derek... nothing. No response. Just content rabbit.

Her phone vibrated.

MEL: You alive?

Derek watched her as she checked it, but didn't respond.

It vibrated again.

MEL: Don't make me call the police again.

She sighed.

"Just tell her that you are talking with me right now and can't talk. She just needs to know you are ok. You are her best friend and she is worried about you. You are scaring her." His voice was softer than usual.

"I'm fine," Jessie responded to Derek. She ate a forkful just to make a point how she was just fine and dandy.

 He pursed his lips.  

Jessie rolled her eyes and stabbed at the phone as if Mel could magically feel Jessie's frustration via text message.  

She just wanted to be left alone! Didn't they understand? It was safer that way. She didn't embarrass herself. No one to disappoint.  

JESSIE: I'm fine. Love ya. Go away.

MEL: ... *frown emoji* followed by six *hug emojis*

"No. You aren't." Derek said plainly when she looked up.  His dark eyebrows raised and he was not believing a single thing she said. It was written on his face.

How would he know?  The assumptions. 

"Leave me," She pressed, keeping her response short.  She stabbed at another potato. 

She was fine.

He pet Mr. Floofer. "No." He said simply.

How dare he. 

Her eyes met his and felt her face warming.  Her heart was beating fast and it wasn't just because he looked and smelled amazing on her bed.

Who is he to think he can say that? This is her room.

"I asked you to leave." She pointed to the door.

"I'm not leaving. It's been a week and you have been moping long enough." Derek then sat silently waiting for her to respond.

"What do you want? I can't just turn it off." She was starting to feel claustrophobic with him here. She needed him to leave. She couldn't feel comfortable with his eyes looking at her.  Was that pity or was he trying to memorize the freak?  

She dropped the fork, stood up and started pacing.

"Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" He asked slowly.

"No." She shook her head. 

But she had.