F'N FABULOUS (Completed)

I saw HIM today

Derek took Jessie to that park every night for a month straight.  There was something about his quiet determination that she knew he wouldn't let it go if she attempted to hide.  In fact, she looked forward to him barging into her room. There were times she would hole herself in there, just so that he would seek her out.  

Is it bad that she loved his attention?

They didn't speak when they hiked, but once they made it to the park, it was like it was a safe place.  He never judged her for anything she wanted to talk about.  He listened and asked questions.  He would joke and make her smile, but there was always a bit of awkwardness she couldn't shake off.  Jessie felt like maybe it was that she made him uncomfortable since he now knew what she was.  However, today she had another incident with Greg and having that weight off her shoulders kind of gave her the strength to finally speak with Derek about something more substantial than traveling, work, or hobbies.

"I saw him today," Jessie said suddenly.

He raised an eyebrow but kept merry go round spinning slowly.

She continued. "Apparently he is getting evicted.  It was my fault.  He banged on the door more screaming foul things, but whatever."

"Then what happened?" He asked. "Did you call the police?"

She nodded.  "I opened the door keeping the chain on."

She thought back to what he looked like.  His beautiful green eyes were marred with red squiggle veins and big puffy purple bags underneath.  His lips flat in a grimace and cheek's flushed, but his tanned olive skin looked pale as if he hasn't slept in a month.   

"He looked like shit.  But before he could speak I held up my cell and told him I already called the police... that he was violating the restraining order and how if he didn't leave... I would show him how strong of a woman I am." 

Derek snorted.

Jessie remembered feeling amazed that it was all it took.  She couldn't believe that it worked and Greg just walked away.  The police stopped by to ensure she was okay, but that was it.

"So now what? Are you going to testify if they ask?" Derek asked bring her back to the park and to the important question she still hadn't asked.

"Ya, I guess. If they ask.  The landlord said they probably won't need that though." Jessie admitted.

The birds were more comfortable here. It was like they found their voice. Derek sat on the merry-go-round lazily kicking the ground to make it spin slowly, but also dragging his foot. She listened to the gravel against the soles of his shoe.

She kept the silence as long as she could until the one question felt like suffocation itself. She had to ask. "I can move out if you guys..."

He stopped spinning and looked at her. "Why?"

"It's not that unreasonable of an assumption, you know," Jessie stated as if it was a fact everyone knew.

"Did you want to move out?" He asked.

She shook her head. 

"Then yes, it kind of is an unreasonable assumption.  We keep telling you, you are welcome to stay as long as you need. " He stated.

"Doesn't it irritate you to have a moocher?"

"Who? Jake?" Derek asked.

"Me. I'm not paying rent even though I offer. You cook.  You hardly ever let me do dishes. Jake always buys toys for Mr. Floofer.  I feel like I am taking advantage of you guys." She paused.  Then she added the part that needed to be said.  "I bought a whole bunch of drama with me when I came and its really unfair to you guys."

"It's okay." He said. "Keeps our lives interesting."

"I mean it.  We need to have a serious conversation, Derek.  I don't want you thinking that I am taking advantage of you."

"We are."

"You are still spinning on the merry-go-round." She said.  She was sitting on the swing, but not swinging.

He stopped spinning and walked over to the swings grabbing her to pull her up to her feet so he could look her directly in the eyes.  His deep hickory eyes scanned her face lingering on her lips.  He kept her hand in his for a moment.  Before it got too awkward, he finally spoke and dropped them. "Jake and I do not think you are taking advantage of us.  We enjoy your company.  Jake even says the Art Class sketches are going phenomenally.  I guess my question is why do you feel like we might feel that way? Are you taking advantage of us?"

She shook her head. "Of course not." She looked away. His eyes seemed to look right through her and it was making her chest tighten.  "I just never know. Nothing makes sense.  It's all confusing."

"What is?"

"The way you look at me." She finally admitted.

To which he smirked, "How do I look at you?" He was doing it again.  Scanning her face like it held the lost secrets of the Mona Lisa.  

"Like that." She said.

"I'm admiring your beauty and I'm lucky to be able to see it every day."

She tightened her lips. He flirted with her a lot, but she was trying to be serious.  She groaned in frustration. "Stop joking around!"

"I'm not.  You do know you are beautiful, right?" This time his smirk dropped.  

"Ha Ha. Not funny." She said with no laughter on her voice.  "I know I' m just a weirdo and you don't have to keep saying that.  I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

He cocked his head to the side and then began shaking his head.  "That's amazing." He brushed a stray dark brown hair and tucked it behind her ear.  "You have no clue, do you?"

She didn't mask her confusion.  His face didn't make sense.  No one looks at her that way.