Cheki

Part 17 - Its my fault, goodbye for now

A/N: I seem to like seeing them suffer hahaha

sorry the chapters are hella rushed, I've never been happy with this story and I'm trying to make it as to-the-point as I can! I promise the dark stuff will pass for those of you who are waiting for the smiles! Perhaps one more depressing chapter first..

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Tsuzuku POV

Warm.. so warm.. so fucking warm. God I was burning.. my back was... burning..

And my senses were returning.

I was in a car. It must be Ryoga's car.

God, why was I in Ryoga's car - unconscious again - I can't remember.. I'm hurting all over though..

'I'm sor.... oh.. god.. so .. orry..'

The car was moving at a high speed. The faint sound of someone's fingers tapping on the steering wheel frantically. A blurry voice saying something.. the radio? I don't know..but.. Where are we going? Where's he taking me.. why does this confusion feel so familiar..

Koichi POV

My memory fails to recall the car ride to the hospital properly, I just remember crying a lot as I drove as fast as I could, Tsuzuku's shoulder seeping blood all over the seat of my car. His head lay against the window, eyes shut and his body once more screamed the neglect and abuse that I had always failed to notice until today. Until it was spelled out for me so obviously. Until it was too late.

"I'm so sorry Tsuzuku, I'm so sorry.." I cried, trying hard to concentrate on the road ahead with blurry, teary vision, my body hunched over at the pain of self hatred I now bared.

He was so lifeless. So fucking lifeless, so weak and sad looking, the way his head lolled around with each bump on the road or corner turned. His hands lay at his sides on the seat, glistening red, too with fresh blood. It wouldn't stop escaping.

"I'm sorry.."

All I had wanted to do from the start was protect him, make him happy, tell him the truth: that I loved him. Why didn't I just do that at the start. Why did I have to confuse him, why did I have to over complicate things with him. This wouldn't have happened if he had just trusted me. But he didn't trust me.

He didn't trust anyone – how could he?

"I'm so sorry.." I wish I could make him forgive me but.. it's too late.

Tsuzuku POV

'So sorr..y..'

My head was pounding, my throat sore and dry, my head light and dizzy and disoriented. Where's Ryoga taking me?

My stomach was stinging from hunger, my shoulder felt like it was severely broken as sparks of pain repeatedly shot through the flesh around it. The jolts and bumps of the car as it travelled across the streets did nothing but stress me more as I tried to make sense of the situation with such a confused head.

Ryoga's taking me somewhere. But why don't I know what's going on?

'I'm sorry.. Tsuzuku.. I'm so sorry..'

What's that? I can't tell.. He keeps saying.. sorry? What's happening? Whys he apologising?

I wanted to open my eyes and make sense of things, but every time I tried to, I couldn't. It was if I was trapped inside my own mind, just able to question things, the world around my passing by in a fast blur while I sat in an isolated bubble.

But what's going to happen. This isn't the first time I've felt like this. I don't understand – I don't remember how I got like this. Why am I in a car.. where's Ryoga taking me while I'm like this.. wait..

Where.. where.. oh god. OH GOD.

Not again, what happened last time, something bad happened recently, I can't remember, oh god, I cant remember what happened. Am I dreaming? Ryoga took me somewhere in a car. Something bad happened. I think something bad happened to me.. I think something..

And why is my back hurting me like this, why can't I move, why can't I think straight. All I can feel is panic and pain taking over and I can't control it, I can't wake up.. I can't wake up.. I.. wait.. I think.. Ryoga's going to.. oh god.. Koichi oh my god.. I want Koichi .. it's too late oh god Ryoga ..what's he going to do..? Please.. somebody!!?

Koichi POV

I slammed on the brakes of my car immediately as a huge yell erupted from the unconscious man's throat.

"Tsuzuku!!"

He began thrashing about, his eyes now wide open but still glazed over, as if he was stuck in a dreamlike state. He began to struggle, trying to get out of the car by pulling at the seatbelt restraining him, screaming in some sort of wild fear as I tried to grab him and control him. What did Ryoga do to him?!

"Tsuzuku! Please! It's okay now I promise you, I promise, it's okay I'm here for you!"

I was so scared and confused and I felt so so sad seeing him like this. I felt so bad for him. I reached over and grabbed his wrists, stopping him from punching the car up any more with his blood soaked fists.

"NO.. NO..," he yelled at me. His voice was so afraid, so fearful.

"Shh.. Genki it's me, it's Koichi, I'm going to help you, oh please stop.."

His violent movements became less and less and I managed to pull him close eventually, and hold him tight, stroking his matted hair as he began to sob softly in my arms.

What did that man do to him?!!

Slowly, his consciousness faded again and he slipped away into a seemingly peaceful state.

I had to turn off the engine to collect myself, as I was violently shaking and scared by what just happened.

This is all my fault.

~~~~~
Okay using the Wattpad app on my iPad to change things to italics is an absolute nightmare bc highlighting text is so awkward and shitty. Wattpad sort it out thanks x
What do you think? Time to make everyone smile again? I think so! I'm excited to hear the rest of 8PSB's album - when's it released?
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