Secret

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: lonely

Yoongi had gone to his room as soon as they got back to the dorm so he wouldn't slip because of Kookie. But it did cause him to go back to how he was before they started the escape room, sad. He started to randomly write some lyrics, since he didn't want to be useless again.

A sudden knock on the door made Yoongi wake up from his lyrics writing day dream (writing lyrics usually goes with day dreaming for Yoongi). "Yoongi-hyung, can I come in?" "Mhm" Yoongi answered when he recognised Namjoon's voice. Namjoon opened the door en went to sit next to Yoongi. "What are you doing hyung?" "Just trying to write some lyrics, but nothing sounds even remotely close to what you can do." "What do you mean hyung?!" Namjoon asked sincerely surprised, "Your lyrics are as good as mine if not better, really!" "Namjoon-ah, I really appreciate you trying to make me feel better but we both know that your lyrics and songs in general are way better then mine." "Is that what has been bothering you lately?" Namjoon asked, trying to just be upfront because he knew that Yoongi prefered that. "Also" Yoongi muttered. He didn't really want to talk about why he was feeling so bad nor was he ever going to tell the full truth but he knew he had to tell Namjoon at least a little bit of what was happening. Without Namjoon and the others of members he would really be a danger for himself. Yoongi knew the members were always trying to help him, even if it made him feel like a bother. "Also? then what else is bothering you? Maybe I can help you with it." "No, you can't Namjoon, you can't change who I am nor who the others are." "What do you mean, I can't change who the others are? Are they annoying you?" "It's not annoying me, it's- never mind, it's nothing. You can't change it anyway Namjoon, it's my own fault." "Then at least tell me what I can do to make you feel better." "You can't do anything Namjoon, really, I have to solve this myself." "Please Yoongi-hyung, we all care about you, we really do, we want to help you!" "Namjoon, there really is nothing you can do, really" you will only make it worse Yoongi thought after. "Okay, hyung, but please tell us when it's getting worse." "I will." Namjoon stood up to leave again leaving Yoongi confused with his thoughts. He wanted Namjoon to stay, to comfort him even if he just told Namjoon he can't help. He does want Namjoon to help him and to care about him, he just doesn't want him to know that he's a little too. "Namjoon-ah?" Yoongi said just before Namjoon left the room, "can you stay here for a while? Help me with the lyrics, or maybe watch a movie?" Namjoon thought he heard something of despair in Yoongi's voice but shuddered that thought off immedaitely, that couldn't be true. "Of course." Namjoon said while he walked back into the room. 

Half a song and a movie later Namjoon went back to his own room and Jin had gone to sleep. Yoongi, however, didn't feel like sleeping yet. He had really enjoyed the time with Namjoon and now that he was alone again (Jin didn't count since he was sleeping), he and his little side weren't happy. Only 5 minutes after Namjoon went away Yoongi slipped. Little Yoonie went to search for his paci and kumamon stuffie. "Hi Namnam, you won't weave me, right?" "I want Joonie to come back and pway with me, wike he aways pways with Kookie." Yoonie said while pouting towards his stuffie. Yoonie was even more jealous of Kookie then Yoongi, and right now it was worse because he knew Kookie had been watching a movie with the other members this evening. "Come Namnam, you do want to pway with me!" Yoonie went over to Jin's bed and started pinching him to see if he was really sleeping. When Jin didn't give any reaction but changing sleeping positions, Yoongi decided that it was save to grab his little stuff and to play. Even if Yoonie was very shy, he still took greater risks then Yoongi ever would, and this was one of these moments. "Come Namnam, wet's cowor!" Yoonie went over to the bed to recieve his favourite stuffie and put him on the ground next to him. "Here you go Namnam, now you can cowor too!" At first glance you would think that Yoonie was really having fun, just coloring, but if you look a little bit longer you could see the tears in Yoonie's eyes. Even little Yoonie was just pretending to be happy, not wanting to show his stuffie that he didn't like it to just be alone with it. 

An hour or a little more later Yoonie started to get really tired. It was very late after all, especially for a little. Yoonie looked around and saw that he made a little bit of a mess from his part of the room. "Namnam, can you hewp me cwean? Everything has to go back in the box before we go to sweep, okay?" Yoonie stood up to start cleaning all his stuff while trying not to pass out in the process. "cwome Namnam, we has to staw awake a wittwe whiwe wonger." Yoonie said with difficulties to his stuffie. "A wittwe whiwe wonger." With a lot of difficutlies little Yoonie managed to clean his part of the room good enough for it to not be suspicous to Jin when he woke up. "Good night Namnam" Yoonie muttered to his stuffie when he was finally laying in bed. "Good night Yoonie" Yoonie said to himself to feel less lonely, but it didn't work. 

Jin had woken up just as Yoonie went to sleep and was extremely confused. Did I really just hear Yoongi talking to himself? Jin thought to himself. 'No, that can't be true.' Jin got out of bed to check in Yoongi was really sleeping. Luckily for Yoongi little Yoonie had decided to put his paci also in the little stuff box, otherwise he would have to explain a lot to Jin. But the only thing that Jin saw was a sleeping Yoongi, clutching his stuffie in his arm. Hmm, I must have imagined it.

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A/n: I'm sorry for the shorter chapter but it's really hard to write about little Yoonie without any caregivers ^^