It's A Fine Line

20: Slow

"Hello, Amma. How are you and Appa?" I asked my mom.

When they called me in the early parts of Saturday, I was shocked to say the least.
After a little over three months of not speaking to them, it was strange to hear their voices again. I tried calling them several times during the three months but their numbers were always unreachable. It's sad when you feel like your own parents are avoiding you.

I thought I would've missed them but as soon as the call continued I realised why I didn't ever enjoy their calls.

"We're fine, Senthuri. How are you?"

"I'm fine," I said a little dim hoping my mother noticed the sadness in my voice. Hoping she cared enough to ask me if I was really okay.

She didn't.
Apparently she couldn't sense anything.

"Are you keeping up your grades?"

"Yes."

"Any grade below ninety percent?"

"Only English, Amma. It's 79 percent. But it's Mrs Park's fault. She hates me and always marks down my essays."

"No excuses, Senthuri. Don't blame others for what you lack. Your father wants to speak to you. Wait a moment."

"Senthuri."

"Yes, Appa," I answered knowing I was in for a lecture from my other parent.

"Next year you'll be applying to universities and you'll only be accepted if you're the best. You're not the best so you have to work harder."

"I... I know."

"The next time we call, your grades better be up to par. Look at your sister, she never had a grade below 98. Now she's one of the best advocates in Japan. And your brother would've been one of the best surgeons. You need to stop slacking and take your studies seriously."

"I know," I sighed.

"Good. I don't know when we're coming back home but we'll keep in touch."

Yeah right.

"Okay, Appa. You and Amma, take care. I love you."

"Okay. Bye."
The call ended and relief was all I felt.

Any conversation between my parents and I always ended in my feelings being hurt. Today was no exception. I've been compared to my siblings my whole life and the fact that, to my parents, I was nothing against my siblings caused a resentment in my heart for my brother and sister. I hated myself for feeling that way because I loved my brother and sister. A lot. And it's not like they told my parents to behave like that.

I sighed as I went to the kitchen. I pretended that the call didn't happen as I cooked.

I left the rice to cook when I heard the doorbell ring.
I wondered who it could be. I wasn't expecting any visitors. My parents weren't coming back yet and nobody else knew where I lived. The neighbours kept to themselves.

Maybe Amma and Appa wanted to surprise you... pfft, who am I kidding?

I walked to the front of the house and opened the door.

"Amm- Jungkook," I said in surprise.

I tried to close the door in his face but he put his foot in between, preventing me from doing so.

I took in a deep breath before bracing myself to face him. I opened the door fully.

"What do you want?" I tried to sound as rude as possible but my voice came out soft almost broken.