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He left.
Most of the men and many women of our town went raiding. I thank the Gods for giving me this time to be free of him.
After we found out about my pregnancy, he changed. I think he knew not to lay a hand on me again, for he stayed away even when drunk. He would find another woman for those nights, and then the morning after, would come crawling to our bed and touch my stomach. The foul stench still lingering in him, he would place his hand on my still flat belly, pet it and whisper sweet nothings to it.
What a lying fífl.
He was beyond happy about it. His drinking became more daily, his insults lessened. It was a strange feeling to be in a marriage so different from what it is supposed to be. In our culture, women are supposed to be equal to men, we are supposed to be able to choose our men, to punish them when treated with disrespect.
Jarl Gunnarson ruined our ways. I remember, as a child, watching a man get flogged by his woman, for kissing another. His woman was allowed to choose the punishment herself, and even punish him herself. But as soon as Hall Gunnarson challenged our former Jarl, and killed him, things changed.
Women were forced to submit.
I felt something stir inside me, just thinking about it. Something in me wanted to snap, bite his head off and show it off to the women of our town with pride. I felt different. I felt energetic, more powerful.
Ever since I found out about my pregnancy, I stopped drinking the brewed drink my mother always made me. I stopped drinking anything but water, in fear of losing the child my husband so very much wanted. Ever since then, I have felt the aches, but I also feel more alive.
It was made of a plant, growing on the mountains. She started making it for me when I was a child, and told me it would help with ''the aches'', as she called them. The aches were apparently something all women have, a burning sensation inside our chest.
My heart desires things. My hunger was not fully satisfied by the meat brought to us by someone else. I yearned to hunt for myself and my child, on my own. I yearn to look out for myself, by myself. I feel a pull towards the woods, almost a calling. The woods are singing to me and because of it I have spent more time wondering in them.
Gyda is always there with me, making sure I do not fall, since the terrain was untrustworthy. Today, like every other day, she was there. Walking by my side, looking over me with a cautious eye.
She did not speak. She knew better than to mutter a word when entering the woods in my company.
I longed for the silence, for my mind did not feel in control anymore. I still recognized myself as the only one, but I did not feel in control of my emotions anymore. Gyda's mother said it was the pregnancy, but this felt more than the baby affecting me. I did not feel alone anymore.
The trees were tall and mighty. They covered the bottom of the mountains and brought us almost in to a whole different world, when entering. Every morning, the woods would be covered with mist, for the mountains were too tall for the clouds to rise above them. At night, the woods would come alive by the animals of all kind, running, playing and hunting.
We were currently sitting on a boulder and Gyda was singing to me. She stopped after we heard the whistling.
Turning our faces towards the sound, we found ourselves staring at a man, with barely nothing to cover himself with in this autumn weather. A worn linen tunic with what looked like to be wool made trousers. His feet were bare and his hair was in braids, gathered in to a bun at the back. His beard was long enough to cover his neck from sight, and was decorated with braids and beads with runes carved in to them.
His eyes were a piercing shade of blue, his hair as dark as night, but his skin pale. He was a slim man, even with the muscles clearly there. His face had such a delicate look to it, yet the beard and the coldness of his eye color, made it clear that he was not so fragile.
''Heilsa, ladies. I do hope, that I am not interrupting anything?'' He greeted us. With a smile to bring joy to everyone around him and a wave of his hand, he made himself appear nonthreatening.
We did not get many travelers in to our town, they favoured the towns to the South. Many did not want to visit the North, it was too cold, too wet and too rough for them. This man, however. He seemed like he lived in the North, like us.
His gaze landed on me, and it was the strangest of things. He seemed familiar, almost even familial. I know for a fact, that I have never seen him before, yet I felt a pull towards him, a kinship. I knew I should not trust strangers, but with him, it felt like trusting him is my second nature.
''You must be Iona, am I correct?'' He asked, and I sprung up. Rising so fast made my head spin, and the man almost approached me, but Gyda was fast by my side, supporting my weight until I could stand on my own again.
''How did you know, who I am?'' I asked, and shook my head to get rid of the last of my dizziness.
''I have heard a thing or two of you. Your father speaks of you very fondly, and told me you would probably be here,'' he replied. I was shocked, for my father had never been in my life. I do not even know who he is, or of he is even alive.
''I do not have a father.''
''Everyone has a father, Iona. Do not be silly. Anyways, the reason that I am here, is to deliver a message from your father,'' he said. He took two steps, so that he was almost touching me. So close, yet I felt no threat from him.
Leaning towards my ear, he whispered to me so quietly that even I was struggling to hear. ''When the wolf comes forward, howl and he will come.''
His words made no sense to me, and it was shown on my face. He gave me no more explanations, but turned around and ran away again.
Both, Gyda and I, were left stunned, standing there with our mouths hanging and eyes wide.
