Between Love and Hate

Chapter 14 (The Girls)

Thank you for the wait and the lovely comments! :)

Please keep them up, they make my day :D

--

Jackie

Here we go.

I took a deep breath and walked towards the school.

I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, mainly because I didn’t want to see all the girls floating around Louis, drooling over him. 

I closed my locker after first period and waited for Rhya to come, so we could walk together to Algebra. I saw Perrie at her locker across from me, shuffling with her books as she listened to some music. 

This was it. 

I was going to talk to her about Zayn. 

I walked towards her and jumped a bit when she slammed her locker. 

"Hi, Perrie."

"Hey.", she said smiling. We started walking to Algebra. 

"So uh…"

Just get to the point.

"Do you like Zayn?"

"What?", she asked stopping in her tracks. I stopped too.

"Do you like him?"

She snorted. “No.”

"B-"

"Just drop it, Jackie.", she spoke bitterly and entered algebra. I followed behind her slowly. I immediately made eye contact with Louis, who was talking to some of his soccer team mates. 

His eyes locked with mine, and he raised his eyebrows, silently asking me about Perrie. I shook my head swiftly and walked to my seat, sitting down.

Mr. Schwartz entered the classroom, excusing himself for being late. Zayn’s seat was empty and I focused on Perrie, who took a quick glance at it out of the corner of her eye. 

Then, the door swung open and Lindsay came in, followed by Zayn. His hair was messed up, and his Guns’N’Roses shirt was wrinkled. Lindsay’s lipgloss was a bit messy and her skirt was rising up, almost revealing her panties. 

"Take a seat.", Mr. Schwartz said and they both sat down. 

I saw Louis shaking his head in the corner, face palming himself. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked at Mr. Schwartz who started writing a new lesson on the board. I crossed my ankles when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. 

I took it out of my pocket and glanced at the new message:

From: Louis
Received at: 09:12am

Zayns an idiot



To: Louis
Sent at: 9:13am

Yep.

He winked at me and when he made sure no one looked, he sent me a kiss. I playfully rolled my eyes and he smiled, returning to his notebook. 

The bell rang after forty minutes, and everyone jumped out of their seats. I stood behind, because Louis texted me that he had something to tell me. 

He pretended to tie the laces of his Vans as everyone cleared out.

It was just us and Mr. Schwartz, who was grading some tests. 

"Hey uh…hi.", he said approaching me. 

I saw Mr. Schwartz raise his head at us behind Louis’ back. 

"Hi."

Louis swiftly pecked my lips and tucked my hair behind my ear. I blushed and he smiled, pressing his lips to my forehead. 

"You look beautiful babe."

And then he left. I saw Mr. Schwartz smile, but before he could say anything, I exited the classroom, my cheeks painted with a rosy colour. 

I screamed when I was pulled into a janitor’s closet. I was met by a pair of blue eyes, however, they were sad, not matching the smile on the pink lips. 

"What’s wrong?", I asked her, my eyes running over her bright pink highlights, admiring her beauty. 

She sighed and leaned against the shelves behind her. 

"I do."

"You do what?"

"I do like him."

I waited for her to continue, whilst I played with the hem of my shirt. 

"And it fucking annoys me that he’s just ignoring me, like, he was all over me a couple of days ago, but then that big titted blonde slag had to butt in and bloody shag him like there was no tomorrow. I hate him, gosh, I want to punch him in the face. Hard."

I looked at her, knowing that she didn’t mean the hate part. 

"I just want him to look at me and somehow…I don’t know…say something. Like, hey, I like you."

She ran a hair through her hair and bit her lip.

"Never mind. I have no one."

"You have me.", I said. "You know that…uhm…Louis and I aren’t really…public…so I’m also a bit alone…we could hang out."

She smiled. “Sure.”

"Can we go now? This tiny room makes me uncomfortable."

After two days of hanging out with Perrie -at lunch and breaks- I learned that she was a cute but perverted person. Like, she literally turned everything into something perverted. 

I was at my locker when I heard a locker slam shut and I turned to see where the noise came from, but I stopped.

I saw Louis talking to a group of his friends. His arm was around a skinny, blonde haired girl with bright green eyes and a tight dress. I didn’t know this was a club. 

She leaned over and whispered something into his ear before he turned his head, and catching her lips with hers. 

My heart dropped. He pulled away and detached his arm which was draped over her. He told her something, before she started talking, angrily. 

The bell rang and I shut my locker. Crap, I had chemistry and I had to pass by the popular group that was in the door. 

I faced the floor as I started walking, trying not to catch anyone’s attention.

"Hey, look at this fat cow!"

I cringed at Jason’s words. They stung and I tried to blink the tears away.

"Turn around when I’m talking to you, you slut!"

I was yanked around. Basically everyone in the hallway was looking at me.

"How dare you ignore me, you worthless bitch?", he spat, pushing me.

Louis’ jaw clenched and he looked away. 

"You deserve a fucking hard slap across the face, don’t you?", Jason continued. Then he turned to Louis. "Come on bro, do the honours." 

Louis’ eyes widened. 

"Don’t be a pussy! You said yourself she was worthless and that she deserved this."

I felt my heart stopping as Louis took a step towards me. He couldn’t do it. I gave him the ‘Please don’t’ look. He seemed to take a step back, but then I felt a sting on my left cheek. 

Tears swelled in my eyes and I gulped. Then he turned around and pushed everyone out of the way, disappearing.

I bit down my lip.

'I would never hurt you.'

'If someone messes with you, I'll take care of it.'

I shook my head and saw a teacher coming our way. Everyone vanished and I entered the classroom.



Perrie

It was Wednesday, and I was at my locker, taking out my biology stuff. 

I saw Zayn and Lindsay necking each other next to Louis and a girl I’ve never seen before. 

I wasn’t watching Louis, because my eyes were set on Zayn, who was running his hands up and down Lindsay’s body, gripping her ass and rubbing her thighs. 

I clenched my fist, feeling a sting in my stomach. I wanted to hate him, but I simply couldn’t. I looked at him. He was staring at me. Lindsay whispered something in his ear and he looked at me, before his eyes scanned my hair, then he nodded, grinning.

I slammed my locker too loud, making a few heads turn towards me. I made a the whatcha-lookin-at face. I was really pissed off; no one was going to mess with my hair.

I groaned when the bell rang and felt up the cigarettes in my pocket. I felt like ditching biology today. Actually, I felt like ditching the whole day. Who would give a fuck about me anyway? No one cared.

I made my way through the bodies that were rushing to their lessons and exited the school to go to the smokers alley, where I knew I’d be alone. Or at least I hoped so.

I sighed relieved when I saw it was deserted.

I sat down on a bench and lit my fag, before resting my elbows against my knees and taking a drag. I looked up when I heard footsteps. I rolled my eyes and turned my head to see where they were coming from.

It was Louis, who was running his hands through his hair and his eyes were watery. I knew he was about to cry.

He saw me and came to sit down next to me. He leaned his head against the cold wall behind us, closing his eyes. I watched him as he clenched his eyes and let the tears stream down his face.

I have never seen a boy cry.

I knew that a girl’s laugh was more meaningful than a boy’s laugh and that a boy’s cry was much more meaningful that a girl’s cry.

I handed him a cigarette and he accepted, lighting it up.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and leaned against the wall.

‘’What happened?’’, I asked softly.

He sighed. ‘’ I screwed up.’’

‘’What do you mean?’’

He explained what happened, and I couldn’t do but tell him that he was an idiot.

‘’I know I am! But I can’t help it! I just-‘’

‘’Is being popular really worth it? Worth hurting her?’’

‘’I just can’t do it, Perrie. I can’t.’’

‘’Why not? You’re being a selfish bastard, you fucking cunt!’’

He sighed and threw his cigarette away.

‘’I really want to fucking be with her, but I’m afraid that-‘’

‘’You might lose your friends? Trust me, Louis. If they were your real friends, they would stay by your side.’’

‘’Just like Zayn.’’

‘’Yeah. Like Zayn.’’, I mumbled looking away.

‘’Perrie.’’, he said placing a hand on my knee. ‘’I know Zayn. He may come off like a player, but he’s just…he has a lot of problems.’’

‘’Well I have problems too, but that doesn’t mean that I fucking go and act like a douchebag with a person that actually cares!’’

‘’You care about him?’’

‘’Whatever, he’s with Lindsay. I don’t care anymore. I don’t think I ever did.’’

He gave me a look and I shoved his face away.

‘’I should head to chemistry.’’, he mumbled getting up.

‘’You should really be nicer to Jackie.’’, I said closing my eyes and leaning my forehead against my knees.

He sighed. ‘’I will. And you should really tell Zayn you like him.’’

‘’I won’t.’’

He rolled his eyes and left. Once again, just like all those other times, I was left alone.

Lunch came by, and I wasn’t in the mood of facing anyone right now.

‘’You’re now coming to lunch?’’, Jackie asked as we strolled down the hallway, next to Rhya and Dylan.

I shook my head. ‘’I’m not really hungry. But see you later.”

She nodded and I smiled, watching as they entered the double doors that led to the cafeteria. 

I sighed and shook my head, before slowly walking towards the exit of the school, already searching for my cigarette. 

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw two people in an empty classroom, on the desk, snogging. 

I squinted my eyes and walked closer to get a better look, then gasped when I saw who it was. 

It was Mackenzie. 

And Niall.



Mackenzie

I looked down at my nails as I waited for Harry to come out of his house. I was taking him to school today.

"Starships…are meant to fly…hands up and touch the sky!", I sang as I watched him strolling down his driveway. 

I pressed my palm against the steering wheel and honked at him to move faster. We were going to be late.

He got inside and leant over to kiss me. I smiled and pecked his lips, before I started the engine and drove off. 

When we got to school, I parked my car in its usual spot and got out, slamming the door. Harry followed my actions.

"Yo!"

We turned to see Niall and Zayn coming towards us. My heart did an unwanted flip and I avoided his blue gaze. 

It was getting harder and harder to ignore him. He was everywhere: in my dreams, at school, when he came around my house to hang out with Harry, everywhere. 

Ever since that night at the chalet when we kissed, he’s been texting me, saying that he wanted to do it again, and that I was beautiful and stuff. 

And two days ago, when I was shopping at Top Shop, I met him. I remember how he cupped my face and said that he couldn’t get me out of his head, before he kissed me. 

And the worst part of it all was that I wanted to kiss him back. I wanted to kiss him every time I saw him. And it wasn’t good at all. 

"Hi.", I mumbled and nuzzled my face in Harry’s shoulder. He took it as a sign to wrap his arm around my shoulders. I made eye contact with Niall, who looked away. 

I gulped and faked a smile for Leslie and Liam who were approaching us. 



The bell rang, announcing lunch. My stomach was growling and I was in the mood for pizza. My eyes landed on Jackie and her little group of friends. I rolled my eyes. 

It annoyed me that she was so skinny. I wanted to be like that. 

closed my locker and was about to join Leslie and the others in the cafeteria, when my phone vibrated in the pocket of my blazer. I pulled it out.

From: Niall Horan
Received at: 12:56pm

Meet me in the choir room? :) x

I sighed and clenched my fist around the frame of the phone. I was going to put an end to this.

As much as I enjoyed his kisses, I couldn’t do it. At least not as long as I was with Harry. And besides…Niall was…he was poor. And…he was…I don’t know, weird. He wasn’t boyfriend material for me. I mean, yeah, he was popular and all, but he wasn’t rich or didn’t have a future.

I pretended to put lipstick on as I waited for the hallway to clear out, before marching towards the choir room.

My heart started beating faster when I saw him leaning against the desk, arms crossed over his chest. He seemed in deep thought. I snorted. Yeah right.

His head snapped up to me and I closed the door, just in case.

"What do you want.", I asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

He pushed himself off the desk and took a step towards me.

"No! Don’t move. Talk."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at his brown roots.

"I just…what is going on between us?"

I let put a high pitched fake laugh.

"Between us? Ha! There will never be an US, Niall!”, I said gesturing between us with my index, my Tiffany & Co. bracelets making an annoying sound.

"What about-"

"Those two kisses we shared? One was a fucking dare and one was…"

"Amazing.", he breathed out, taking another step, trapping me between him and a desk.

I shoved him but he didn’t budge. And the fact that he was smelling like weed and cheap cologne wasn’t helping me. I actually liked his cologne. Damn.

"No, it was a mistake and-"

He cut me off with a short kiss.

"A mistake and-", I continued but was once again cut off by his lips.

God, why was he making it so hard for me? 

"Niall st-"

He did it again and I slapped him. He took a step back, rubbing his red cheek. His blue eyes were boring into mine and we breathed heavily, just staring at each other.

"Tell me that you didn’t like it. And I swear, I’ll leave."

"I didn’t like it.", I spoke immediately, fixating the flower vase in the corner.

"Look me in the eye Mackenzie."

I looked into his eyes, and said slowly: “I. Did not. Like it.” LIE.

"And we would NEVER work out, Niall."

"Why not?"

"Because…you’re you…and I’m…me."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"You’re…poor…and…trashy. And stupid.", I spat, but immediately regretted my words.

"I could make you feel good.", he mumbled and his hands gripped into my waist, hopping me on the desk. I tried to climb down, but he held me in place. His hands went up my thighs and he placed soft kisses along my neck.

"I could…I could make you feel so good…you’d beg me to stop…"

I felt myself getting wet, so I tried to clamp my legs shut, but he opened them and stood between them.

"I could…make you squirm under my touch Mackenzie…", he whispered hotly in my ear as he kissed me roughly. I responded subconsciously and moaned.

He pulled his head away and whispered, looking into my eyes: “I could make you feel happy, princess.”

My heart fluttered. He called me princess.

He attached his lips to mine softly, and I closed my eyes, gripping into the back of his neck, playing with his hair. He moaned and that was an alarm for me.

I pushed him away abruptly and jumped down the desk, almost falling over in my Kate Spade’s. 

"Stop it, okay? I love Harry, and I would NEVER love you, Niall. Never. You’re nothing. So stop texting me and calling me or even looking my way. And change your cologne, it’s smells like cheap money."

And with that, I walked out of the room.

The problem was, that I lied about everything. Including the love part.

Fuck.



Rhya

I took a bite out of my hamburger as I listened to Dylan and Jackie argue about where to go after school. I crossed my ankles under the table and continued chewing, when I felt someone’s intense gaze on me. I turned my head to see Liam staring at me. I gulped down my food and licked my lips, before looking down at my plate.

I didn’t break up with Dylan. I just couldn’t. I looked back up at his table, to see that Mackenzie, Lindsay, Zayn and Niall were missing.

Perrie

I was still surprised about what I saw in the classroom as I sat down on a bench, lighting my cigarette.

This sucked. Everything sucked. 

This town, this school, my situation, Zayn, Lindsay, everything sucked.

I looked down at my combat boots as I let the smoke out. My mind drifted to my parents and I looked up in the sky, biting my bottom lip.

If they could see me now…gosh.

I closed my eyes and once again pulled my legs up, resting my chin on my knees. It was a habit of mine. Whenever I stood like this on my bed in my room, my dad would know something was wrong.

My eyes drifted to the tips of my pink hair that rested on my shoulders. I bit my lip, thinking about my mom would say if she would ever see my hair like this.

I heard someone sit next to me. I wasn’t going to look who it was, mainly because I didn’t care, but then I smelled his scent and saw his black boots.

I turned my head and quickly wiped the few tears from my eyes.

"Do you have a lighter?", he asked.

God, I hated his sexy voice.

"Yeah.", I mumbled taking a smoke from my fag.

He rolled his eyes. “Can I borrow it?”

"No."

He sighed. “Please?”

"Get your own fucking lighter."

I almost fell over when his long fingers took the stick from my lips. I watched as he took a drag out of my cigarette and exhaled the smoke straight into my face.

My eyes drifted to his lips. Those full, pink lips. I licked my bottom lip and almost choked when he placed the end of the cigarette on my lips. I inhaled, my eyes locked with his hazel ones.

The smoke came out through my closed lips, before I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes.

I shouldn’t be smoking. But no one’s here to stop me, so fuck it. He put the cigarette off with the tip of his boot and looked at me. I sighed.

"Why are you here Zayn?"

"It’s a public place."

I rolled my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek.

My heart was beating fast as I mustered up the courage to tell him that I actually liked him.

"Zayn?"

"Yeah?"

I took a deep breath.

"I like you."

My heart was literally ripping my rib cage to shreds as I waited for his response. He looked at me, scanning my face, before he opened his mouth. I was about to pass out.

Then he simply got up and left.

I bit my cheek as hard as I could, trying to stop the tears. Of course he wouldn’t like me. I was so stupid. I looked up in the sky again, closing my eyes. Why was everything so hard? Why did they leave me on my own? I didn’t deserve this.

I hugged my knees to my chest and pouted. This was going to be a long year.



Mackenzie

I was leaning against my locker, listening to Harry go on about the upcoming soccer championship that they were playing in, when the bell rang. 

"All seniors attending drama and music classes please come in the auditorium, thank you."

"They’re announcing the second play.", Leslie said excitedly as she sat down next to me in the big theatre.

"It’s going to be a musical.", Harry mumbled lazily swinging his arm around my chair.

"Yay."

"If it’s Mamma Mia I’ll cut myself.", Niall said sitting down in the row in front of us. He turned his head and started the topic about the soccer championship. I observed that his eyes were occasionally drifting to Harry’s arm that was now around my shoulder.

A silence set over the room as Mr. Schwartz and the drama teachers came on stage.

"Good day seniors. As you know, the second and also last play of your high school ‘career’ is coming up. We decided to follow the tradition, and make it a musical."

Groans were heard.

"That’s why we called only the people that were attending drama and or music class. Which, as you can see, is 80 percent of the seniors. That being said, we would like to announce that the same procedure as Romeo and Juliet will be followed. You have until the end of the week to audition, and we will be announcing the cast on Friday before lunch."

Mr. Schwartz continued: “Now, we will be announcing the name of the musical.”

He looked at Coach Duff who was gesticulating for him to continue.

"The musical will be called Grease."

Sounds like ‘aaaaaah’ and ‘oh yeah’ were heard. I knew the movie.

"Please take a script before you leave, thank you. You’re dismissed."

I smiled as I followed Leslie towards the scripts. I needed to get Sandy’s part.

And I was going to get it.



Rhya

I hadn’t spoken to Liam since that night at the chalet. It was Friday, right before the cast was going to be announced, and I was sitting next to Jackie, talking about Justin Bieber coming to London in two months.

"I’m going to die. He’s going to be in the same country as us, and we’re not even going to see him!", she cried and I nodded. Perrie agreed and smiled.

It was the first time I saw her smile in days. I kept asking her if she was okay, but she kept saying ‘I’m fine.’

Silence settled in when once again, after three days, Mr. Schwartz stepped on stage, with a list in his hand.

"I have the cast of Grease right here. I will be announcing the main roles, the rest of you will find it on a pinboard in the hallway."

His eyes scanned the paper.

"Okay. So Marty will be played by Leslie Walsh, Jan will be played by Mackenzie Sandler, Betty will be played by Perrie Edwards, Frenchy will be played by Rhya Darling."

I smiled, wishing that I got Sandy.

"Putzie will be played by Niall Horan, Kenickie will be played by Zayn Malik, Doody will be played by Liam Payne…"

My heart jumped. Doody was going to end up with Frenchie.

"Sonny will be played by Louis Tomlinson. And for the main roles, Sandy will be played by Jackie Vega and Danny Zuko will be played by Harry Styles."

I jumped of joy.

"Oh my god Jackie you got SANDY!", Perrie exclaimed hugging her. She smiled shyly, because a lot of people turned to look at her. Mackenzie was shooting her daggers.

"Please take note that starting next week until end of March, we will be rehearsing an hour before and after lunch, every day. You’re dismissed."

Everyone kept talking about the play and the cast, and I was buzzing because I got Frenchy.

"I don’t even know who Sandy is."

Perrie and I gasped, looking at her.

"You mean…you never watched Grease?"

Jackie shook her head.

"Oh god you’re so coming over after school and we’re watching Grease!", I suggested and Perrie agreed. Jackie rolled her eyes playfully and smiled. But then her smile faltered.

We saw Mackenzie waiting at her locker, inspecting her red nails.

"Well well well.", she spoke. "If it isn’t Sandy."

People started looking. Jackie seemed uncomfortable. I hated seeing her get bullied.

"I guess it fits you."

Mackenzie took a step forward. I spotted Liam and Louis watching from behind her.

"Innocent virgin…no one would ever love you.", she spat to her face, shoving her. Jackie almost lost her balance if Perrie wouldn’ve caught her by the arm.

"You’re so fat, gosh, why do you eat so much? You know there are children starving, you should do them a favour, think about the needy ones, Jackie."

Jackie’s eyes drifted to the floor and I saw tears threatening to spill out.

"Leave her alone.", I mumbled stepping before Jackie.

My eyes drifted to Liam. Then I felt someone shoving me to the ground. I looked up and saw Lindsay.

"Don’t take her side, you freak."

"Hey, shut up.", Perrie spoke up stepping in front of Lindsay.

"Zip it, you cow.", Mackenzie spat at Perrie.

"You sure, Mackenzie? Because I wouldn’t mind telling people about what they can watch in the choir room at lunch."

Mackenzie went pale and Perrie smirked,

"Whatcha talking about, weirdo? You think you’re so cool with that hair colour of yours, don’t you? And to think, you had the NERVE to tell my boyfriend you like him!"

Everyone was silent. Perrie looked at Zayn, who was looking at his shoes from his spot next to Louis.

"Fuck off.", Perrie muttered stepping aside and marching to the exit, shoving Zayn’s shoulder on the way.

I got up from the floor.

"Leave, Mackenzie.", I said again.

She slapped me across the face.

"Hey!"

Everyone turned to look at Liam.

"We have to go.", he mumbled.

Mackenzie huffed and pointed to Jackie:

"This isn’t over."

Then she turned around and her posy followed.

"You okay?", I asked Jackie, rubbing her arm.

She nodded.

I sighed.

God, was life a bitch.

—-

"You sure?", I asked Jackie as she stood in my door frame, ready to leave.

"It’s getting late, you should take a cab."

"It’s fine, I’ll walk home. It’s ten minutes away."

"Okay. Bye.", I said and hugged her. She smiled and stepped back, before turning around and starting to walk down the street.

I closed the door and locked it, making sure no one was going to come in. I also locked the back door, even though I knew Liam probably wasn’t going to come anymore. Still…

My mom was her usual busy self, gone on a business trip. I went up the stairs, turning off the lights.

I took my pills, to make sure I wasn’t going to have another panic attack.

After I showered I got into bed, wrapped in Liam’s shirt. I still kept it, because it made me feel safe.

Noodle was snoozing on the pillow next to me. I watched him sleep peacefully. My mind drifted towards Liam, wondering what he was doing right now. 

Right on cue, my phone started to vibrate on the night stand. I grabbed it. My heart jumped when I saw who was calling me.

Liam calling

I bit my lip and touched the screen to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi.", he sighed into the phone. His voice was raspy. 

"Hi.", I replied. 

"Can you please come and open the back door?"

I gulped and nodded, but then I remembered that he couldn’t see me. I hung up without saying another word and stood up from the bed.

I took off his shirt and put on one of my shirts, before hurrying down the stairs, being careful so I wouldn’t fall down.

I saw him leaning against the glass, with his back at me, smoking. I hated when he smoked. 

I unlocked the door and opened it. He squished his cigarette under his foot and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. 

I gestured for him to come in, and he obeyed. 

"I just…I knew you were alone tonight…so I came to uhm…keep you company."

He started walking towards the kitchen, turning on the light. 

"I’m still with Dylan."

"Damn it, RHYA!", he suddenly exclaimed, slamming his fist into the wall, making me stop abruptly. 

"Don’t you dare damn it on me, Liam!”, I hissed pointing at him. “You’re the one that has his tongue down Leslie’s throat all the bloody time!”

"We’re not together!"

"So what?"

"There’s a fucking difference, you know!", he yelled.

I took a step back, afraid of his tone. He scared me when he was angry. His vein was pulsating in his forehead and he was turning red. 

"L-"

"No, Rhya! Don’t Liam ME! You promised that you would break up with him!"

"I can’t do it! I just can’t!"

"And why the FUCK not, hm?"

"Maybe because I don’t fucking love you!", I screamed, although it was a flat lie.

His expression softened and he went silent. Our breaths were the only sound. 

"I didn’t mean it.", I mumbled. 

"Forget it.", he snapped and pushed me aside, aiming for the door. I tripped him, and he fell straight into the glass. 

I snorted, laughing. 

He stabilised himself and turned around, angry. 

"I’m sorry I didn’t-"

He started walking towards me and I started walking backwards, until my back hit the table. 

"Break up with him. Please.”, he begged in a low voice.

I nodded, biting my lip. “I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

"Tomorrow’s Saturday."

"We have a date."

"Oh. Where?"

"KFC."

He laughed. “At a fast food?”

I nodded.

"What a loser."

"Shut up."

He pushed himself into me, before leaning down and brushing his lips against my ear:

"I would never treat you like trash, Rhya."

"He doesn’t treat me like trash.", I argued.

"If I was your boyfriend-"

"I’d never let you go, take you to places you ain’t never been before.", I whispered smiling.

He watched me amused, before he continued what he wanted to tell me, sending chills down my spine:

"If I was your boyfriend, I would treat you like a princess.", he breathed. 

My fingers wrapped around the hem of his shirt, my heart thumping out of my chest. I was so scared of letting go of Dylan, because if I’d risk what I had with him and be with Liam, Liam may hurt me again. And then I’d be alone. 

And I would have another panic attack, which no one knew of, except of my mother. But she probably won’t be there for me. 

He lifted my chin up and looked me straight in the eye.

"I love you. And I promise I’ll never leave you. Ever."

My heart warmed up instantly at his words. 

"Promise?"

"Promise.", he whispered softly kissing me.

"Okay."

My arms went around his shoulders and I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent. 

"I love you.", I said.

"I love you too. I always have."



Jackie

"It’s fine, I’ll walk home. It’s ten minutes away.", I said. I really wanted to be alone right now. I felt miserable and unloved.

"Okay. Bye.", she spoke and hugged me. I could feel her stare on the back of my head as I walked down the street.

It wasn’t a long way to my house, and walking was good exercise. 

My mind was with the Grease movie. I watched it, and also read the script. Harry and I were supposed to kiss fourteen times in the play. And four of them were make out-kisses.

Sandy was just like me, innocent and absolutely clueless, whilst Danny was just like Harry, experienced and a bad boy. 

I bit my lip. I didn’t want to kiss Harry, it wasn’t fair…although I think Louis and I were over…I mean he hasn’t talked to me and maybe he found someone else. I knew he was going to dump me since I wasn’t having sex with him. 

I looked down at my sneakers as I walked down the deserted street towards my house. I was almost there. 

All I wanted to do was get into bed and watch Never Say Never for the hundredth time. 

I twisted the key in the lock and entered the house. I could hear the TV running in the living room as I made my way to the kitchen to grab some tea. 

I almost had a heart attack when I saw Zayn looking into the fridge. 

"Oh. Hi."

He turned around from the fridge, with a coke can and a water bottle in hand. 

"Hey.", he greeted and I noticed his eyes were slightly bloodshot. 

"You’re here for-"

"Lindsay. Yeah. I’m spending the night.", he quickly said, trying to sound convincing. 

"Cool.", I mumbled and asked him to give me a bottle of water from the fridge. He obeyed and handed me a 0,5l bottle.

"So, I’m going upstairs…uh, good night.", I said shyly, intimidated by his strong gaze. I walked up the stairs, pulling my backpack with me. 

I grabbed my PJ’s and was about to go to the bathroom when I heard a knock on the door. I went and opened it. I was quite surprised to see Zayn standing, in only his sweatpants. 

"I said that I was going to the bathroom so I got a few minutes…can I talk to you?"

My eyebrows rose and I nodded slowly. He walked inside and I closed the door. He went and sat down on the chair from my desk.

"What do you want to talk about?"

I stood a few steps away from him, keeping my distance. 

"She said she liked me."

"Who- oh.", I spoke, immediately knowing he was talking about Perrie. 

"When?", I asked. 

"Today."

"And?"

"I walked away."

"What?!"

He closed his eyes and leaned his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. “I panicked, okay?”

"Why?"

"Because I can’t…no."

"You can’t like her?"

"Yeah."

"And why not?"

"Because…just because. She’s not good for me. She comes with baggage, and I’m not going to be able to handle that. I can see she’s…she has something, a secret- everyone has a secret. And I can see how fragile she is…and I don’t think I can handle that. I don’t ‘fall in love’."

I looked at him. His collarbones were visible as he flexed his shoulders. 

"I can’t fix her.", he said standing up.

"You can try."

He bit his lip and walked to the door opening it.

"Oh, and Jackie?"

"Hm?"

"Don’t give up on Louis. He’ll come around, I promise."

I nodded and he smiled, although his smile never reached his eyes.

"Thanks for listening."

"Anytime."

He closed the door behind him and I went to change in my PJ’s.

When I came out of the bathroom, it was already past ten. I decided to text Perrie before getting into bed. 

I stood in front of the balcony door, composing a text for Perrie. 

To: Perrie
Sent at: 10:23pm

Zayn’s spending the night here with Lindsay…:/



From: Perrie
Received at: 10:23pm

Fuck him. Oh and happy bday! Why didn’t you tell anyone it’s your birthday? Just found out on FB!



To: Perrie
Sent at: 10:24pm

No one remembered :(



It was true. Everyone forgot: my dad, Helen, JJ and Lindsay. Even Louis. These were the only people that actually knew when my birthday was. 

I opened the balcony door and stepped outside for a little fresh air. 

I saw the light on in Harry’s study room. Then, the door to the balcony opened and he walked outside, holding a cigarette between his lips. 

When he saw me, he turned around and walked back inside. I felt incredibly self-conscious. Of course it disgusted him to see me. 

I was about to go back inside when he came out with a piece of paper that was ripped from a notebook. 

He unfolded it and I read it.

Happy Birthday :)

I smiled and mouthed ‘Thank you’. He winked and pulled out his phone. He tapped across the screen before he looked up at me. 

My phone beeped a few seconds later. 

From: Harry
Received at: 10:28pm

You’re 18 now :D



To: Harry
Sent at: 10:29pm

I know.



From: Harry
Received at: 10:30pm

Good night then, gotta go b4 my mom has a fit :D 

I watched him as he disappeared inside, then the lights were turned off. 

I also went back to my room, locking the door. I was about to get under the covers when there was a knock on the balcony. 

My heart sped up, knowing who it was. Maybe he just came here to say that we were through. 

I gulped and got up to open the door. He was there, with a duffle bag attached to his arm. 

He came in, without saying anything. I watched him as my heart pounded against my rib cage. 

He let his bag fall to the floor and looked at me. 

"I’m sorry.", he said.

I bit my lip and frowned, desperately trying to keep my tears from falling. 

"You hurt me Louis."

"I know."

He took a step forward and I took a step back, my back colliding with the wall behind me.

"Don’t.", I said, tears slipping from my eyes. He had no idea how much I cared for him, and all he did was slap me across the cheek in front of the entire school. 

"Please.", he whispered and his chest touched mine. "I care so much about you, it hurts."

"Then why did you do it? Why did you slap me?", I whimpered, remembering his actions. 

"I had to."

I clamped my eyes shut and shook my head, pushing him away. “I can’t do it anymore Louis. I can bare with them making fun of me, but not you.”

He bit his bottom lip and cupped my face. “Just give me another chance. Just one. Please.”

I breathed heavily. I gave in the moment his eyes caught mine through the glass of the balcony door. 

I gulped and nodded. “Okay.”

He sighed relieved and kissed me for a split of a second before his lips went to my ear. 

"Happy birthday Angel."

My heart jumped at his words. 

"I want to…", he breathed against my ear. "Take you somewhere."

"Where?"

His vulnerable eyes made contact with mine as he looked down at me. 

"To London.". 

"What?", I asked in disbelief.

"We can go tonight…I booked a hotel for two nights…for your birthday."

A hotel. With Louis. On my birthday. Alone. 

And a bed. 

I nodded. “I just need to tell my father…see if he’s okay.”

"But don’t tell me you’re coming with me."

"Of course not.", I spoke sarcastically and he rolled his eyes, tucking a stray of my hair behind my ear. 

He took a step back and I looked for my dad’s contact in my phone. He exited the room to go to the bathroom across the hall.

"Yeah dad…a project in eng- yeah. Okay. Love you too. Promise. Bye."

Louis came in with a confused expression on his face. 

"Uh…I just bumped into Zayn?"

"Yeah…he’s with Lindsay now…or something."

Louis shook his head in disagreement and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair.

"I’ll pack my bags…uh, yeah."

He layed down on my bed and watched me as I did my suitcase. I packed all I needed in it, before I remembered that my time of the month had to come today, possibly tomorrow. 

"Oh god.", Louis groaned at the sight of tampons. 

"Oh suck it up.", I said smiling as I closed my suitcase. "All done."

"Finally.", he said. "We’re climbing down the balcony. Me first, so I can catch you in case you fall."

I already fell.

He climbed down and threw him his duffle bag and my suitcase, which he brought to his car. Then I surely climbed down the tree and he caught me by my waist, putting me down. He kissed my cheek and tugged at my earlobe before he guided me to his car. 

We got in and he instantly turned on the air conditioner. 

"We’ll arrive around midnight…so you can get some sleep.", he suggested. 

"What about you?"

"I drank two Red Bulls. I think I’m fine."

I smiled and closed my eyes, leaning my head against the window. 

—-

Lockie: http://www.polyvore.com/lockie/set?id=80095738

"Uuuugghhh.", Louis groaned. 

It was a tourist bus, very fancy and it had portable tables and a cup spot. It also had an upper deck, which you could go on when you were passing by an attraction. 

He was resting his forehead against the plastic portable table, his beanie low on his head. 

"If you’re tired we can go-"

"No, I’m fine."

I rubbed his back and he peaked at me from his spot, smirking. 

"It’s Zayn’s birthday today, I should call him.", he mumbled. "Oooor you could call him for me?"

"He’s your friend, Louis."

"Pwwwweaaasse?"

"Ugh, fine. Give me your phone."

I typed in the combination and called Zayn, wishing him a happy birthday.

"Thank you.", he said huskily, meaning he just woke up. 

The guide announced that we were passing by Big Ben, so everyone hurried up the stairs.

I ended the call with Zayn and attempted to take a picture of the Big Ben, but Louis decided it would be a good idea to stick his tongue out and block my view. 

"Louis. I’m trying to take a photo-"

"Sorry."

He stepped away and I tried again, but this time he came closer, sticking his nose into the camera. 

"I hate you.", I said locking his phone and pushing it into his pocket.

"You looooveeee me.", he teased wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. 

I playfully pushed him away, but he remained taped to my body. I turned around and started taking photos with my phone.

Louis wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, pressing a kiss there. 

His breath was hitting my cheek and his long finger pressed to the screen, turning the camera towards us.

He kissed my cheek as I took a photo and set it as my wallpaper. 

"Do you like it here?", he whispered in my ear. 

I nodded, turning my head a bit so he could catch my lips with his. 

"One day I’ll take you to Paris…and Rome…and Dubai…and Hollywood…and everywhere."

I smiled against his lips, before he pressed them together and continued the kiss. The tip of his tongue rubbed against my lips and I opened my mouth to let him in. 

My heart was beating uncontrollably as he turned me around so he could run his hands down my back, cupping my ass. 

I wrapped my hands around his neck, and he pulled me closer. His scent was always driving me crazy, mixed between cigarettes, coffee and cologne. 

"Mmmm…", he said biting down my lip when we pulled away to catch a breath. He then swung an arm around my shoulders and pointed to the London Eye, suggesting to go there next. 

I agreed. As long as (YOU LOVE ME) I was with him, I was happy. 



Four hours later, we were exiting the Buckingham palace. Louis attempted to make the soldiers on the horses at the entrance laugh, but it was no use. That really hurt his ego, because for the rest of the day, he gave up on jokes, even on the perverted ones, which said a lot. 

He wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked on a bridge. He stopped at the middle, saying that this was the place his father proposed to his mother. 

I ‘awww’ed him and he rolled his eyes at my girly reaction. 

"This is cute Louis, don’t roll your eyes.", I said leaning over the railing, to see the water and the boats underneath. 

His hands placed themselves over mine from behind, pressing a bit too hard for my liking. 

"Ouch.", I whined pushing my bum back so I could push him away.

"I like that. Do it again.", he said.

There it iiiis.

"And I don’t want you falling off the bridge.", he whispered into my ear. "Now come on, let’s hit the shops."

He bought me an I LOVE LONDON purse and three different London themed iPhone cases, even though I insisted not to.

It was getting late as we walked down a large sidewalk, surrounded by different shops that were about to close.

Louis wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. 

"Are you happy?", he asked looking down at me. 

"Now I am.", I said smiling and he smiled too.

"You have no idea how much I like you, Jackie.", he whispered into my hair as we crossed the street towards our hotel. I was sad, because we were leaving tomorrow. And he was sad too, because my period was supposed to be today or tomorrow.

He was such a boy. 

—-

"Yep, she’s here.", I muttered when I came out of the bathroom in my PJ’s. 

"She?"

"My period."

He groaned and zipped up his suitcase. I sat down on the bed, ready to open my book, but he stopped me. 

"I have another surprise for you." 

His breath was suddenly on the back of my neck, creating goosebumps all over my body. He sat down next to me and handed me an envelope. 

"I hope it’s not one of those things you see in movies, like sex coupons or something."

"It’s not, but thank you for the idea."

I nudged him and he placed a hand on my thigh. “Just open it babe.”

I concentrated on opening the envelope. It opened and I pulled out something. My breathing hitched in my throat. 

5 Justin Bieber VIP tickets to London, O2 arena on February the 28th.

"Oh my goooooooooooooood Louis thank you so much!", I yelled hyperventilating. I hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. 

"You didn’t have to but…how did you get them? It’s sold out."

He scratched his head. “Uhm…it was a few months ago and…basically me and the lads wanted to go and-“

I laughed.

"Don’t laugh, I can take them back-"

"No no no no no!"

He smiled and kissed my temple. “But you’re taking Lottie and Zayn with you.”

"Why Zayn?"

"Beca-"

"He’s the only one that would actually want to go with me?", I whisper, feeling tears in my eyes. "Thanks for bringing up that I’m a total loser."

"Jackie-"

"No, Louis."

I stood up. I was emotional at the moment, partly because I was on my period and partly because I was going to see Justin Bieber in a month. 

He stood up too. 

"You can’t keep hurting me, then apologize and expect everything to go back to normal."

He sighed. “Don’t make a big deal about this.”

"I’m tired, Louis. I’m tired of pretending that I’m fine when I’m not, I’m tired of faking a smile when I’m actually crying inside, I’m tired of turning my head whenever you kiss a girl in front of me…I’m tired of being tired. I’m done."

"Fine.", he huffed and turned around. "I’m going to buy a room for myself, and after tomorrow, we’re done. Over."

"Perfect.", I said, even though my heart was in pieces, and I desperately wanted him to stay. He was about to exit the room when I ran towards him and punched him with all my power in the back. 

He stopped and turned around. “Did you just punch me?”

I gulped. Oh no. He was going to beat me up. I took a step, and he did the exact opposite. I was soon trapped between the wall and his body. He had a thing with pushing me up against a wall.

He lifted his hand, and I flinched, closing my eyes. His hand came down to my face and lifted my chin gently. 

"I’m not going to hurt you Angel.", he whispered against my face. 

I looked him in the eyes, which expressed nothing but sadness. 

"Hit me again."

"What?", I asked.

"Hit me again. Get all your anger out on me. I know you’re angry."

I breathed heavily and punched him in the stomach with all my strength. He didn’t even flinch.

"That’s all you can do? Come on, slap me. Show me how miserable you felt when I slapped you in the hallway."

"Loui-"

"Show me."

I gulped and slapped him hard across the cheek, making his head turn. He rubbed his cheek.

‘’Oh my god Louis, I’m so-‘’

‘’Stop it. I deserve it.’’

‘’No you don’t. No one deserves this.’’

‘’Yeah…’’, he trailed off and looked down at his shoes. When he looked up a few seconds later, his eyes were glossy.

‘’Why are you crying?’’

‘’I’m so sorry that I hurt you…you mean so much to me, you have no idea.’’

I nodded, wiping his tears away with my thumbs. ‘’It’s okay Louis I forgive you. I always will.’’

‘’I p-promise that we will go together at Homecoming. And I swear to god, I’ll never make fun of you in school again, I’ll try to stop it.’’

You already promised that, I thought.

‘’I know I already promised that, but this time I mean it. A few minutes ago, when I was walking towards the door after you said we were done, I hoped you’ll call my name and tell me to stop. I panicked when you didn’t hold me back. I have never been so scared in my life.’’

‘’Scared of what?’’, I asked, not really understanding what he was talking about. The period really went to my head.

‘’Scared of losing you. I would never…I know it sounds pathetic but I don’t think I could ever live without you. Right now you’re my world, Angel.’’

My heart warmed at his words. He was so sweet and vulnerable right now.

‘’You have no clue what you do to me. It’s so hard to walk on those hallways every day and see you at your locker. I almost can barely hold back from coming over and kissing you…holding you.’’

‘’Louis-‘’

‘’No, let me finish.’’

I bit my lip and looked into his deep blue eyes as he continued:

‘’It hurts me so much to see everyone picking on you for no reason, and the fact that I started it all kills me. But the thought of coming to you after school and being with you is the only thing that keeps me going through the day without breaking down.’’

I wrapped my hands around his neck and hugged him, burying my face into his shoulder.

‘’Thank you.’’, I whispered.

His arms tightened around my waist as I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent.

‘’I wish we could freeze in this moment forever.’’, he said into my hair and I nodded.

Me too.

—-

It was Monday, which meant a new day of school, a new day of pretending I wasn’t head over heels in love with Louis and a new day of bullying.

I was at my locker, right before the hour we were supposed to be rehearsing for the first time. I saw Perrie and Rhya talking a few lockers away from me, and I waved them over. They came, smiling and laughing about something.

‘’I have a surprise for you guys.’’, I spoke fishing through my backpack to take out the tickets for the concert.

‘’I have concert tickets…for all three of us…to go see…’’, I trailed off as I slowly pulled my hand out of the backpack.

‘’I hope it’s not some opera stuf- OH MY FUCKING GOD!’’, Perrie screamed when I pulled out the Justin Bieber tickets. Rhya and her started fangirling, talking about how they will both get married to Justin and will have five kids, two boys and three girls.

‘’Where’d you get them?’’, Rhya asked. ‘’They’re like, super expensive and not to mention incredibly SUPER hard to find!’’

‘’Got them for my birthday.’’

‘’I sent you a happy birthday text, right?’’

I nodded.

‘’God, I love you!’’, she said hugging me. Whilst she was hugging me, I made eye contact with Louis, who was talking to Zayn at the other end of the hallway. It seemed like there was no one there, except of him. He shot me a wink and I smiled, making Perrie and Zayn turn around at the same time. Perrie then looked at me and mouthed ‘’Louis?’’ and pointed to the tickets in my hand. I smiled and nodded, before Rhya let me go.

By the time lunch came by, the first rehearsal was done and I learned that Rhyan and Dylan were officially over. When I asked her why, all she said was ‘’I don’t love him.’’

Rehearsals were okay, all we did was receive the song book and organize the pairs and set the exact date of the play.

I was walking with a tray of spaghetti back to my table, when Jason and Kurt appeared in front of me.

‘’Don’t you think that’s a bit much considering your weight and looks?’’

My heart dropped. Not again. Louis’ and Harry’s head immediately turned towards us. Their jaws were clenched as they watched the whole scene from a few meters away.

‘’You really want to eat THAT much? Like a bloody pig?’’, Jason went on.

Everyone was quiet now, watching our little scene.

‘’Here, let me make you a favor.’’, Kurt spoke, before his hand collided with my tray, spilling the food all over my shirt.

‘’And here you go.’’, Jason said unscrewing his bottle and pouring it all over my head. I was close to crying now. I hated them so much.

The hair was shielding one eye, clinging onto my skin, making me even more uncomfortable. Then Jason slapped me.

Louis stood up and came over. I watched him helplessly as he came between me and the two boys.

‘’Come on Lou, slap her like the bitch she is. Fucking slut.’’

Louis turned towards me, his eyes full of sorry. Here we go again. He raised his hand. I clenched my eyes shut, waiting for the pain. I felt my hair being brushed behind my ear, unclinging the strays from my eye.

‘’Come on, do something Lou.’’, Kurt encouraged him.

I was crying right now, it was all to much. What did I do to deserve this?

Louis turned around to face Kurt.

‘’Don’t fucking dare to call me Lou.’’

I took my chance and ran away from them, almost slipping on the water. I needed to get away from them immediately. I wanted to stop everything and rewind.

I made it out of the school ground, running down the snowy streets. I was in my t-shirt, because I left my jacket at the table and my coat in the locker. I rubbed my arms. I had no idea where I was going, and somehow I was really relieved that Louis stood up for me…in a way.

‘’JACKIE!’’

I turned around at the sound of his voice. He was jogging towards me, and I let out a shaky breath, feeling how my tears were starting freeze on my cheeks.

“Wait, babe.’’, he breathed once he was in front of me. I looked up at him, my tears running down my face.

The took off his red Vans jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. I slid my hands into the sleeves and he zipped it up, before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He threw his arms around me as I cried into his chest, fisting his shirt.

He pulled the hood over my wet hair and kissed my forehead before resting his chin on the top of my head.

‘’I’m so sorry baby.’’, he whispered.

I sobbed into his chest, trying to calm down.

‘’I-I-I don’t w-want to l-live any-ymore.’’

‘’Hey, look at me.’’, he said grabbing me by my shoulders, so he would make me look into his eyes. I riposted and clung to him, not wanting to let go.

‘’Hey hey, come on. Look at me Angel.’’

He managed to hold me by the sides of my arms and looked me in the eyes.

‘’I don’t want those words coming out of your mouth ever again, is that clear?’’

I shook my head.

‘’Please don’t say that again- you can’t- don’t do this to me, please.’’, he said in a shaky tone. ‘’I need you, okay? I would never live if through.’’

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. He pulled me into him again and kissed my cheek.

‘’It’s going to be okay Angel, I promise.’’

I didn’t respond, I just tried to breathe deeply and calm down.

‘’Don’t give up on me Louis.’’, I said into his chest.

‘’Never.’’

‘’Thank you.’’

He let out a long breath.

‘’I’ll never let you go Angel.’’

He brought his lips to my ear.

”You mean everything to me. I’d die without you.’’

---

Please leave a comment and vote if you liked it ! :D

xoxo,

Ronnie