The Brightside ~ A Lil Peep Fan Fiction

~one~

My head span and I grumbled, the bright fluorescent tone of the lights around me burnt through my eyelids so much that the last thing I ever wanted to do was open them, but I knew right now I had no other choice, the question was stupid, but I asked it anyway, it was easier to pretend like I didn't remember what I'd done to myself the night before.

"Where am I?" My voice was so dry and raspy it didn't even sound like mine and it was on then I realised there was tubes up my nose, I wanted to rip them out, but I knew it wasn't a smart idea.

"Hospital sweetheart, it's good to see you coming around, do you have any pain?" The voice that replied to me wasn't one I recognised, though I didn't expect it to be, I didn't really have anyone that cared about me anyway, not enough to get me through these 'episodes.'

"Um, no, uh, kind of my stomach." I had to change my answer because the minute i thought about it, it was like a sharp stabbing pain ripped through my lower abdomen.

"That's to be expected, you took a lot of codeine last night, do you remember why?" It was at this point I didn't even know who will have found me, probably just some random I expected, I never stayed in one place for too long.

"I just wanted to get high, I guess it just didn't hit fast enough." That, of course, was a flat out lie, I knew my limits, I would never be in a place like this by accident.

"Mm, okay." She didn't sound convinced, as I finally opened my eyes and they focused on her dark brown hair and kind mum like face, she was just a nurse, i was glad, because I didn't need a doctor referring me for psych just yet. "Is there anyone you'd like us to call?" She sounded concerned at this point, of course, they probably didn't even know my name, not that I wanted them to, I wouldn't want family showing up here anyway.

"I don't have anybody, but thanks." I maybe spoke a little harshly this time, but my head still burnt and I just wanted some peace.

"Okay well the things you came in with are in the bedside cabinet, the doctor will be around soon, you're on a secure ward so don't think about leaving, you need looking after." She was a little sterner now, probably annoyed that once again time and resources had been taken up by another addict, and that kind of made me feel guilty, even though I couldn't help it, it was an illness after all, maybe a side effect of the other things I had going on, but still an illness. "Oh and the man who brought you in told me to tell you his number is in your phone now." I could swear she rolled her eyes at that, but that didn't concern me, the thing that did was there was someone, I hadn't been alone last night? Maybe I wasn't so certain of what happened this time around.

"Sorry, excuse me, what?" She sighed at my question.

"The man who brought you in, he seemed concerned, he put his number in your phone before he left." I'd never had anyone care for me enough to want me to let them know I was alright, not in a long time, chances are he was probably nobody and will have forgotten about me by this morning too but there was a little niggle in the back of my brain that told me different.

"Um yeah, okay, thanks." I half hearted a smile and she nodded leaving the room probably a little more swiftly than you could call polite but I ignored that and looked over to the small bedside to see my phone atop it. Please have charge. I picked it up and thanked my lucky stars as the screen lit up, there was only 8% battery but it was enough to see the notification that graced the screen. It was an iMessage that had been sent at 3:47am...

'Peep:

ik you won't remember me when you wake up but lemme know you made it.'

Peep? Who the fuck has a name like Peep, he was probably a dealer, they never used their real names, but it was nice to see someone had actually had a little bit of concern for me, even if all he wanted was another customer.
I hesitate to actually open the message because that would mean he would know I'd seen it and I wasn't sure I wanted that yet, whoever he was, I kept my distance from people for a reason, so instead I decided to pull up Instagram and scroll for a while.
It was weird being on social media, I followed people I'd once gone to school with, family I didn't talk to, celebrities all seeming to have far more enjoyable fulfilling lives than my own, my page mainly consisted of fucked up mirror selfies in the bathrooms of random houses that I'd managed to talk my way into staying at, on the surface maybe my life looked fun, a different party every night, alcohol, drugs, gigs but the truth is, I didn't even know where I'd be sleeping tomorrow never mind next week, meanwhile, I was watching everyone else have kids, get married, secure flats and being normal, hence why it didn't take me long to click back out of the app again and find myself staring at that little red number one next to the messages app.
That was, until I finally sucked it up and decided to type out a reply.