As the last embers of the Rebellion begin to fade, Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) and the brave, budding Jedi Rey continue to wrestle with their mysterious connection. Rey remains disgusted by Kylo Ren's murder and darkness, but holds hope that Ben Solo will e...
Ben awoke to the sound of the Caretakers shuffling to and fro outside his hut. His arm was numb, and bore a large red spot where his face had laid. It quickly dawned on him that he had enjoyed a dead sleep well into the late morning, which was very unusual for him. Since infancy, he had never slept well. No doubt, his exertions with Rey the night before were the cause. Ben recalled the dream he'd had of the flower in the water and his father's advice.
...just remember what I told you, son.
Ben still couldn't remember, and it tortured him.
Reflecting on the events of midnight, Ben was determined to get answers. Not only concerning Rey, but his own life and ambitions. Once dressed, Ben asked the Caretakers to tell him where the Dark Force dwelled. They tried to warn him that it was a place of reckoning and pain, but he assured them it was exactly what he was seeking.
Interested in keeping herself focused on a task rather than Ben, Rey had been welding parts since dawn. From across the field, Rey observed Ben's discussion with the Caretakers. She steeled herself against pity for him. She focused on her own thoughts and left him to the fallout of his own inner struggle. She remembered Leia's advice about loving Ben as he was.
This is it, right here, thought Rey. This.
The reminder cured her of rosy fantasy for a moment, and Rey sequestered her optimism, but held it dear. As she tinkered with the parts again, Rey contemplated how loving Ben could be the source of the new visions she was having in dreams and flashes. As Ben made his way over the rocks toward the mirror cave without so much as a salutation to her, Rey realized their time together was likely a short season. Nevertheless, loneliness gnawed at her heart, exuding a burst of irrational wishes for a love that would never leave her. Rey did her best to shun this, her deepest wish, and turned her eyes back to the task at hand.
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Ben pulled himself from the cold water of the cave pool and approached the crystal mirror, vast and intimidating, just as he had seen during the Force-bonds with Rey. Perhaps now the Force would come back to him. Now, now that he really needed it. Now, of all times. What now was his fate, now that he'd killed every master and faced a future of rule without sight, and without the might to enforce his will?
Ben placed a hand on the crystal and closed his eyes. He searched with his feelings, but no energy rang back to him. He placed the other hand on the mirror as frustration compounded.
"Show me," said Ben. "Let me speak to my parents."
Nothing but his cold, wet hands and the roar of the waves crashing into the cave. The mirror wouldn't even whisper. And when he opened his eyes, Ben's fractured reflection stared back at him. Ben beat the crystal with the meat of his fists, then leaned his back against it and slid down to the rock, sitting in a puddle.
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"Speak to me!" demanded Ben of the spirits in the ether. "I know you're there!"
Only the ocean answered. Eventually, Ben gave over to the sound of the dense waves until he did hear a voice, albeit a voice in his memory that Ben had heard just a few days before he left for Jedi training.
"Ten years?" said Han. "He'll be twenty by then!"
"I've held him back too long. And I don't know what the difference is, Han," she said. "You've been taking jobs so often the past few years, you've hardly seen each other."
"Well, he's just about the age where we can actually understand each other," said Han, pacing. "I figured we could fly together, maybe he could come with me on a run."
"You can't be serious," snapped Leia. "My son on a smuggling job?"
"He's my son, too," said Han fiercely. "and most of it is fully legal--I'm not an idiot. It's not like I'm an arms dealer!"
"He's strong with the Force, Han. Luke is right; Ben needs someone who can show him how to hone his power."
Han sighed and bitterly replied, "Well, if there's one thing I don't know it's the Force."
Leia perceived Han's grief. "Ben loves you, Han, and you've done everything you could. You've always been there when it really mattered. I'm sure he'll remember that."
"I have so much I want to tell him," said Han.
"Then you should tell him," said Leia.
Ben remembered the awkward walk with his father along the water. Ben had always felt like a burden to his parents. They seemed to love him, but when they were with him, there was always something else on their minds. Leia had duties of state, and Han's thoughts were always on the Falcon, among the stars. It had never occurred to Ben's young self that Han had his own reasons why he couldn't seem to stay in one place for very long. Ben was only just beginning to wonder, as an adult, what his father must have faced in his youth to make him prone to flight.
Father and son walked for several minutes in silence, and then Han finally attempted to cram years of mentoring into a few chunks of advice that would be ill-remembered by his son, and filled with strange emotions Ben preferred not to revisit.
"Listen, don't stop flying, okay?" said Han. "You've got what it takes to be a fantastic pilot. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
Ben nodded.
"And if anyone tries to push you around, just punch 'em in the nose real good the first time, so they won't mess with you again," said Han, smirking. "But uh...don't tell your mom I said so."
Ben laughed a little.
Then, Han got down on one knee and looked into his son's eyes.
"Look, Ben, um," Han said. "You know I'm not great with the Force. I don't even really know what it is. But there's one thing I do know other than stealing, piloting, and shooting a pistol, and that's women."
Ben was old enough to have an idea of what his father was trying to tell him, and also old enough to know he didn't want to have this conversation with his father.
"You're a little young for this, but I'm gonna tell you anyway, because your uncle Luke is...better at the Force," Han rolled his eyes and focused again on the strange task at hand.
"Anyway, look. Most boys your age are gonna be dicks about girls, and the grown-ups are going to compare them to delicate flowers. But you just remember this, Ben: women aren't delicate at all. They're fierce creatures. Most of them are smarter than you, and some of them might even be stronger. Never underestimate them. They're prickly and impossible, and dangerous. Always respect that about them."
Ben nodded. That was the part of Han's advice that had stuck with him. What his father had told him after that had never mattered until now. As Ben strained to remember, the images and words came into focus.
"But if you want to love a woman, there's a right way to do it," Han told him.
Ben recalled blushing all the way down his neck. Mortified, he listened to his father continue, even though he could tell Han didn't like telling him either.
"You have to...kiss them," said Han. "All over. A lot. For a really long time. It's gonna seem like all day. But eventually, if you're patient, all the spines will fall off and they'll break into pieces like a nut...and they'll tell you exactly how to love them."
"Okay," said Ben aloud into the cave to the memory of his reply.
The memory opened further. Ben noticed how tall his father looked over the brush along the water when he pulled Ben's head to his chest and told him, "Kid, I think you're going to be the best Jedi in the galaxy."
It was then Ben fully realized his deeds in the Darkness had robbed him of years of precious counsel, and a deep well of love. He brought his knees to his forehead and the sounds of the ocean swallowed his bitter, defeated sobs.
