The Force Finds Balance | a REYLO fan fiction

10.5 | bleary-eyed

Too tall for the bed, Ben slept on the floor of the hut on a simple rug, with a blanket that was not quite long enough to cover both his feet and his shoulders. His dreams had moved him to throw the blanket off his bare body and only his toes were getting warmth at the moment.

Ben dreamed he found a perfect flower floating in the water. He wanted to take it to Rey, but his young father appeared. Ben was embarrassed by Han's presence. He didn't want him to know about the flower. Every moment his father lingered, the flower was drifting away. He tried to step aside and turn to get it, but it had drifted too far. Ben was self-conscious, and wished his father would leave, but Ben's legs were stuck in the mud. Han smiled at Ben with a sanguine expression, and said,

Ben, just remember what I told you, son.

I can't remember, said Ben.

Just remember what I said, Han insisted, as if it should have been easy.

Ben struggled even more against the mud, which had risen to his thighs. A great surge of regret overwhelmed him as his father started to walk away. He could not follow.

I can't remember, Dad, just tell me! said Ben. Please, just tell me! I'm sorry I forgot! Don't go!

Ben struggled and struggled in the mud until his mind realized his legs were actually pinned to the floor. Instinctually, Ben drew in a sharp breath and his hands gripped what held him down, finding soft, cool flesh. His eyes bleary with tears and moonlight, Ben couldn't make out more than a dark figure leering over him. Just as soon as his hands landed, the figure, who he understood could only be Rey, tried to lift.

"No, don't go...don't go," he begged softly, caressing her thigh in reassurance with one hand, wiping his eyes with the other. After a moment, his sight adjusted enough to recognize Rey's eyes glistening over the collar of his mother's coat. Ben's mind sharpened as he realized his fortunate circumstances. He marveled that Rey was this bold. Ben was delighted, and frightened.

"I should go," she whispered, the black coat shielding her body from the light.

"Don't go; I was just dreaming. I'm glad you're here," he said, swallowing. "I want you here."

There was an awkward silence while Rey mustered her confidence again. She hid in the coat.

They both started to speak at the same time, and then apologized to each other before Rey finally blurted out,

"I just have...I have a question."

"Let me see your face," said Ben, enchanted. "Come into the light."

Rey shrugged the coat away and walked her hands forward, lowering her torso over his. Emerging from the shadow, Rey's high cheeks glowed like the face of the moon, her eyelids white and perfect. Her shoulders cast long streaks of black over her body. Her hair had dried askew and uncombed. Rey tucked a few strands behind her ears, and then leaned her elbows on his chest, crossing her forearms sphinx-wise over his clavicle. Her breasts pressed against her arms, and they only just kissed each other in the middle as she exhaled.

Ben assimilated her posture, and a flood of overwhelming urges were suddenly clear to him. It didn't occur to him to breathe until he found something to say. His diaphragm released like an escape pod, expanding his chest, lifting Rey.

"You have a question?" he asked as casually as possible.

She lowered her eyes to the origin of the scar she'd inflicted and kissed it. The blunt ends of her wild mane pricked the tender skin of his neck. Ben was so flooded with stimulation he could hardly feel his face.

"Are you accustomed to physical love?" she said, and peered over to his eyes, expecting a response.

Ben's reaction was answer enough. His fingers crept up on her thighs a little further, pressing divots in the supple skin. He barely had an awareness of his expression, but could feel his own rapid pulse in his ears and couldn't take his eyes off her mouth. Whatever Ben had revealed in this, the response seemed to embolden Rey. She sat up on his thighs again and began to pleasure herself.

Ben had never imagined he would find this so erotic. Eventually, he squeezed his eyes open and shut, seeking for better vision, wondering if he could still be dreaming. The craving to be hasty consumed every thread of his mind until Rey leaned over again to kiss him greedily. Ben responded in kind, and pressed the speed. She tried a few times to slow him down without discouraging, but Rey soon realized that Ben, only just waking up, had become rapt to the passion. Utterly carried away and deaf to her hints, Ben finally rolled Rey in one swift motion onto her back, and almost by instinct, took the flow too far.

For a few brief moments, Ben surrendered to the feeling of helplessness and control. His mind went clear and still. But when he opened his eyes, a shame washed over him. Rey was quivering a bit. A palm and a forearm were still pressed in the attitude of resisting Ben's body. The sparkle was gone from her watering eyes. Ben didn't know what to say. It didn't take long for Rey to collect her legs, the coat, and her dignity.

As she lingered by the door, Ben couldn't articulate how brave and lovely she looked in the wake of his blunder. He could see the moment their act sat down in Rey's mind and set up residence. It was heavy and sexy. And then a grave thought pressed on Ben's own heart; the determination to be her slave if she ever let him in again. He expected her to spurn him and blast out the door. He deserved it. Instead, Rey squatted down and gave him a brief but resilient goodnight kiss.

Barely audible, Ben whispered, "I'm sorry."

She kissed him on the forehead without a smile or sardonic word, then slid past the door with only a discreet squeak.

Alone in her hut, Rey curled up in Leia's coat and cried for an hour. In all the connections and battles that followed, all the days of her life, this was the one and only memory the Force never betrayed.