As the last embers of the Rebellion begin to fade, Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) and the brave, budding Jedi Rey continue to wrestle with their mysterious connection. Rey remains disgusted by Kylo Ren's murder and darkness, but holds hope that Ben Solo will e...
It was very early in the morning. The fire had gone cold and the air was icy when Rey found shapes moving in the blur of opening eyes. The visions had returned. The futures. Unlike before, she spoke back to them as they danced, blinking back and forth through time, in and out of reality:
Nothing is sure anymore. Nothing is true. Truth is what I decide.
Her eyes refocused and found Ben's face buried in the crook of his elbow. His whole body twitched at random intervals. Even from the outside his dream looked grim. For a moment, Rey wondered if she should use the Force to peer into his dream, but she thought better of it. Foremost, out of respect for Ben's privacy, but also fearing what horrors she might see. In this silence, a stronger part of Rey ruled her thoughts and hushed her fear of loneliness long enough to speak logic in a way she could understand.
This was also what it was to love Ben Solo, the man-child tortured by phantom disappointments, ruled by nightmares, and haunted by his very own deeds. Could Rey be assured that Ben had a heart? That he would suffer profoundly for his acts the rest of his life? Was this why his path had been so hideous? Because he felt too much, too deeply?
The morning light cut through the pink veil over Rey's eyes and reminded her, she slept with a raging murderer...or was that another lifetime, another man? As Rey reached out to move a lock of Ben's hair from his sweaty forehead, she pitied him and despised him. Weak, sightless, and vulnerable at this very moment, now was a perfect time to end him. Exile him to the prison of his nightmares forever. Rey was instantly filled with shame, though the thought was somehow satisfying, despite its chill.
Rey sat up and rubbed her face. It never ended--student kills master, son kills mother, lover kills lover. Can it ever end, and if so, how? The question was like a möbius riddle feeding on its own tail.
Just then, a blue glow emerged in the room.
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"Like I said," echoed the voice of Leia. "No bottom."
Greeting the ghost with undivided attention, Rey made an attempt of modesty, covering most of her chest with the blanket without depriving or waking Ben. Leia raised her eyebrows and smirked. Rey averted her eyes. Chuckling and shaking her head at her sleeping son, Leia continued.
"What's done is done. Kid's gonna have to live with it, just like the rest of us."
Rey remained quiet.
"That is, unless you go through with it," said Leia.
Stunned, Rey whispered, "I could never...how could you suggest I might?"
"Because you almost did."
Rey had no reply. She suspected her thoughts had been tapped, recalling her rage that first day she emerged from the ocean to obliterate Kylo Ren or destroy herself trying.
"Tell me about your visions," said Leia.
Rey looked down at Ben to be sure he was still asleep. Quieter than a whisper, almost to herself, she reluctantly replied.
"Fragments, mostly. And none of it makes sense."
Leia waited patiently for her to continue. Rey closed her eyes to find the images again.
"Bright lights and droids, and I am taken over with an exquisite pain. We fight in a raging ocean. I hold an infant, and I think this is Ben. And you--you have not died here in such a horrible way. I can see you in the forest as clear as if you had never left us. None of it makes sense. The dead are alive, and we who should live, die."
Tears came to Rey's eyes. In spite of herself, she had to confess.
"Sometimes the dark side comes to me," said Rey, begging Leia for absolution and clarity. "And it is so familiar and easy, like I am home."
Leia held her peace.
"You know what it all means, don't you?" said Rey.
"The dark side is the point of a saber," said Leia. "and the light is the hilt."
Rey hardly breathed, hardly blinked, praying she was not dreaming, and that Leia's force would linger, if only a few moments longer.
"Choice is the hand?"
"Often that is true," smiled Leia. "at least, it comforts one to think so."
Rey's eyes grew blurry. She blinked to find Leia again, and she was not there.
