Why Dont We Imagines||Wattys2018

Thank you||Jack Avery

You sat on the two seater black leather couch across from Jane, so much had changed since the first time you had stepped foot in the soft grey office, but though very much like the first time she sat down in the room, your eyes shifted back and fourth from Jane to the beautiful pictures on her desktop background.

"So tell me Y/n, talk to me"She asked as she got the white lined paper with the three holes going down the left side. This is how they started every appointment. You guided what you wanted to talk about, but that didn't mean Jane didn't push her when you needed to be pushed. The soft brown skinned girl crossed her legs as she adjusted herself on the brown desk chair, her apple computer playing a continuous loop of vacation pictures to disneyland with her kids. You liked the photos, it use to make you think that the possibility of a happy ending was something you actually had a shot at, but now you saw that possibility everyday rather than once a week, that possibility came in the form of the 5 foot 8 boy with curly hair and a beautiful smile.

"Ive been thinking a lot lately, about everything and all of the changes within the last five months. Ive been figuring out myself, getting to know me, the real me. Not the one James wanted, or the one Gus wanted, not the one my dad wanted, I'm starting to figure out the real me, I like that feeling. Ive been thinking about how the most important things to say to someone are the hardest, and how words can take away all your courage but give them to you at the same time"you started, watching the black and gold pen move in Jane's hand.

"And, if you could get that courage?Who would you say those words too?"

"Jack mostly"You said, the small smile that fell upwards on your lipsticked nude lips didnt go unnoticed by Jane, who felt a smile fall on her own.You had made such amazing progress since the first time Jane had seen you, the therapist was positive that unlike her other clients, who were important don't get her wrong, she'd never forget the idyllic hurricane  that was your/full/name.

"Who else?"

"James and Gus"You told the older woman, very sure of your words.

"Not your father?"

"No, I don't really have anything left to say to him, nothing he doesn't already know, nothing that would make me feel better"You told her, making Jane nod her head as she moved from left to right, the pen moving almost as fast as you talked.

"What would you say to James?"

"I would tell him that its finally time to wake up, to be a big boy, to stop blaming everyone for the mess he caused. He ruined so much, but yet it was never his fault, not in his mind anyways. He had every choice when he decided to throw his life down that path, but I didn't choose this life, he choose all of this for me, so if anyone gets to place blame and be angry, its me"you said calmly, making Jane smile and nod in approval. When you had first tired to talk about James, your heart just broke and tears would run down your face; he didn't have that power anymore.

"And to Gus?"

"I would tell him that I should have stopped being his welcome mat a long time ago, that he didn't deserve me, because I should have been treated a hell of a lot better than what he gave me. I would tell him that I didn't love him, that whatever I had tricked myself into believing so I stayed for as long as I did, I was only lying to both of us. Because I have someone who shows me what real love is, who doesn't make me apologize for things I can't control, who don't force me into things I don't want to do. Id tell him that I deserved so much more and that I found it"

"And that brings us to Jack, what would you tell him?"

"I would start by saying thank you"You began, pausing for a second to take a breath before she continued, she could feel her eyes start to fill with tears.

"Thank you? For what?"Jane asked, her pen sitting on her notebook as she raised her head to lock eyes with you.

"Thank you for showing me what it means to have a home, for making me feel safe for the first time in my life. For putting up with every panic attack, and 2 am kitchen cleaning, for calming me down after every nightmare or daymare or anything in between the two. I would tell him thank you for meeting all of my expectations I had gained over the years from boys in books. But most importantly Id tell him thank you, for saving my life"You told her, taking another breath as a happy tear fell down her face.

"What else would you tell him?"

"That he's the love of my life, and before I met him, my future was blank and black. I didn't want one, I didn't even think id make it to 18. But now all I want is a future, all I want is him, and the best part of it all Jane? Is that even after all this, he wants me back"