Why Dont We Imagines||Wattys2018

8 letters||Jonah Marais

Jonah was at a cross roads. He was scared, surprised, even confused.  He wasn't sure finding someone like you was possible; it was as if you were big foot and he was the only one who could see you- because he wasn't certain how you were single until you met him.

You had seen him at his worst, you had seen him hurt; but you never judged him, you never told him to get over it. You sat with his head on your lap while he cried his eyes out; you ran your hair through his hair and pressed sweet kisses to his cheek. You always tried to help him when he was angry or upset with a situation; you were his rock in ever situation.

But thats why he was scared.

Jonah had a bad past with relationships, Daniel's girlfriend had brought you over and you two became friends, then 'talking' for months before he made it official; and now you two had been together for eight months and he hadn't even mentioned the L word.

Thats how this fight started.

"Ive given you over a year of my life Jonah; and you can't even look me in the eyes and tell me if this is going anywhere. I deserve more jo" You were right, he knew you were right; you deserved to hear the words a thousand times, he wanted to tell them to you but every time he did; something else came out.

"I know"He sighed as he put his head in his hands, he didn't want to lose you, things were going well, he wished he could leave you two frozen in time; on a night like last night where there was nothing but love and need in the air. But his short sentence made you even more angry.

"Could you just say something else?! Anything else, please!"

"What do you want me to say Y/n?!"That was enough for you, you'd had it. Your heart was broken, you wanted him to know exactly what do say, to speak his mind, to tell you that he's deeply in love with you- but if he didn't know, then in your mind he wasn't deeply in love with you, he wasn't any type of love with you. You had dealt with this for a year. You had dealt with the pushing away and then pulling you closer. You had dealt with the dry texts and then him needing you. You had been his shoulder to cry on, his raincoat in the storm, you'd give him the sun if he asked for it; but even after a year you weren't sure he'd do the same for you, and you deserved that.

"You know what Jonah. I can't do this anymore, we are 20 years old. We are too old to be playing cat and mouse, we are too old to play games, this isn't high school. Goodbye"You were so angry, and so hurt you didn't take notice to Jonah's look, his head snapping up as the words fell out of your mouth. Grabbing your purse that sat on his couch, you walked out, the door closing behind you.

You held yourself together in the elevator, then you did it to the car and surprisingly all way home; you played your music too loud and you sang your heart out the whole way.

And it wasn't until you got to your apartment, after you unlocked the door and stood inside, when you placed your back against the door, flipping the lock the other way. When the black, darkness of your apartment met you, when the silence was so loud in your ears that it hurt, when the pain from your heart exploded into your chest that made you fall to the floor. That made tears spill out of your eyes, that made your lips part as a loud sob echoed down the hallways when you stopped holding yourself together.

____

You had been a mess for two weeks. You didn't answer your phone, you didn't go outside, you just sat on your couch, eating ice cream, watching Netflix and trying to distract yourself as much as you could.

You were angry, so angry you felt like there was fire flowing through your blood at all times. You were angry at yourself, for wasting so much time, for loving someone who couldn't be bothered to love her back. You were angry at him, for not loving you back. For not seeing that you would have moved fire and death for him, that you were fantastic, you were angry he couldn't see that.

A knock on the door made you jump out of your skin, as you were so focused on the episode of 13 reasons why that you had totally forgotten the outside world existed. You paused the episode. Hoping that if you were quiet enough whoever it was would just go away.

"I know your in there Y/n, please come to the door"The sound of Jonah's horsed and broken voice was enough to break you, so you got up. Though you had every voice in your screaming at you not too, your heart said to go, that the way his whispered your name, the way his voice cracked, the way you imagined his face looking, you just couldn't say no.

You didn't open the door, but he could tell by the shadows of your feet that you were on the other side, he placed his hand on the door, you could hear the way his finger tips hit the door, so you placed yours where his was.

"I should have said that ive said those words before but they weren't true, they were all lies. I should have said that when I look in your eyes I fall move in love with you every time. I should have said that- that scares me. You deserve to hear those 8 letters a thousand times. I should have told you that you were right, that we aren't in high school, that I don't want to play games either, I should have said no more pushing and pulling, I should have never let you go" When he was done, there were tears in both of your eyes as you unlocked the door and opened it, meeting his eyes which were watering just like yours. He looked like hell, because he was suffering just as badly without you as you were without him.

"Then say them"You whispered, he didn't waste any time moving closer to you, placing the palm of his hand on your cheek, the pad of him thumb rubbing on your cheek bone, his lips only centimetres from yours.

"I love you" He whispered, connecting his lips to yours, feeling like you were at Disneyland and the fireworks has just gone off.

Hello!

Im so proud of this honestly!

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