That night of ours

Chapter 13

~~~kindly put in your playlist ~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wore my floral knee-height dress with my black high heels. I let my hair lose along with a simple rose necklace. Shawn wore white shirt along with his same black jeans and boots. He brushed his hair to the back. We went with his car. It was a white jeep. Shawn wasn't actually a really bad driver. He was a terrible one. He told Andrew that he was going for a drink with some guys. The house was not so small nor so huge. It was normal. It reminded me a lot of my home. We knocked on the door. A man that is kinda of 40 opened the door. He had the same brown hair Maddy has. That same skin color. Which made me realize he is the father. He was wearing a white shirt with pair of suit pants. "Hello! You must be Toni!" He said excited. I nodded slowly. He let us in. Maddy was sitting in the living room. She was letting her hair lose. She was wearing a yellow dress along with yellow shoes with a white ribbon. My mother was wearing a fancy red lace dress. Her hair was made into a bun. We sat in the living room with Maddy for a while. A man entered the room. I never thought that I won't recognize my own father. His face was becoming old. His beard had grown up a lot. His hair was so long. It almost became white. He was wearing pair of jeans with a white tank with an unbuttoned shirt on the top of it. He came up to me and hugged me tightly. I have always loved my father more than my mother. But now I actually don't have feelings for any of them anymore. They were like strangers. He pulled back from the hug. "Oh Toni! I missed you so much!" He said as his voice broke. He was about to cry. My father was always that emotional father. I mean he cried when I left for college and now he was crying because he saw his daughter again after 5 years. My heart was already broken. I thought maybe Justin can fix it. He did but then his death broke it again. My heart was broken twice and I am not ready for the third time. That's why I don't want to deeply fall in love with Shawn. We can't work it out. Even if Andrew didn't find out. I would  leave and he would be super busy with the fans and music. It just won't work.

We all sat to the table. Mr.Clarks (my mother's new husband) was sitting on the chair that was on the top of the table. My mother was sitting next to him and in front of me. Shawn was sitting next to me. Father was sitting next to Shawn. Maddy was sitting next to her mother. Which is my mother. I didn't feel like eating. Mother cooked steak with pasta. She was helping Maddy eat. I watched them as my eyes started to tear up. I just wiped them fast without anyone noticing. I could feel Shawn's hand hold mine under the table. "So, honey. I gathered our family her today so we can talk about your future." She said as she crossed he arms in front of her. I was playing with my food. I looked at her. "Yeah, dear Toni!" I heard father say. My future! Are they kidding me?! What future? My future was destroyed when they got divorced. My future was destroyed when Justin died. My future was destroyed from a really long time! "Excuse me!" I said as I stood up out of the sudden which made my hand leave Shawn's. "Okay then, let's talk after we finish eating." She said. I went to the bathroom without even touching any of my food. I looked at my reflection at the mirror. I washed my face with some water. I took a deep breath and then headed out to the living room.

They were all sitting in the living room. My mother was sitting next to her husband with there little girl on her husband's lap. Shawn was sitting on the other couch. My father was sitting on a chair. I went and sat next to Shawn. Leaving some space so they won't think there is anything between us. "So?" She said as she took a deep breath. I could see she was holding her husband's hand. Did she really love him that much? Believe me she did. She did love him and her daughter more than anything in this world. Even more than me. "When you finish your work with Mr. Shawn here. You'll choose either me or your father to live with. Either here in London or in Boston." She said nervously. Seriously? They want me to choose after 5 years? 5 damn years?! "What do you say, sweet pie?" She said smiling. "No." I said quietly. I was trying to stay calm as I could. "No? You can't say no to your parents, dear." Father said slowly. He was always the kinder parent. Mother was always the one who would hit me if I did something wrong. Father was my favorite parent. "I said no!" I said firmly. I could feel Shawn's eyes on me. "No? Don't you understand? You can't say no! Just fucking choose for the god's sake!" She started to shout. Maddy got up from her father's lap and went upstairs. I guessed that her father told her to do so. I wasn't going to stay calm for long. "Sarah! Stop screaming at her!" Father said. "You never knew how to raise her! You were always so easy with her! And now she is telling us no! You're my daughter and I am your mother and I am telling you to fucking choose!" She shouted harder this time. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to get it all out at some point. At some time. And I guess this time was now! "My mother?! Where were you in the last fucking 5 years?! Where were you? You were my mother for my first 10 years in life only! Now you're Maddy's mother. I am an orphan now! I will not listen to you! You now why? Cause you didn't listen to me during your fights or when you were getting divorced. You left me alone my whole life! Why can't you fucking do it now?!" I shouted. I said it all so fast. I was totally out of breath. I breathed heavily like I was running for a whole 100 kilometers in the desert without water. She looked at me in shook. I could see the tears in her eyes. I could see the tears in my father's eyes. "I am leaving." I said as I stood up and went to the door. I waited for Shawn at the car. He came and behind him was father. "Dear, please come home to Boston. To your dad." He said crying. "Your are not my dad. You are my father. I lost my dad years ago, Daniel." I said as I got into the car. I looked at him as he disappeared. I was relieved that they knew the truth. The truth of there hurting daughter.