Only a Memory | Bucky Barnes

Prologue

June, 2012

Bucky grabbed a hold of Steve's hand, and Steve felt this fluttery feeling in his chest that he couldn't understand. It made his heart clench and his throat tighten. He had felt this before, but usually he tried to ignore it. Once again, he pushed his feelings aside and focused all his attention on his best friend.

They were currently at the mall, and they had stopped in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the crowd. They got a few dirty looks as people were forced to swerve around them. Bucky and Steve didn't realize then that the dirty looks weren't only because of their getting in the way, but rather their hands that were tightly clasped together.

"Bucky?" Steve asked. He was studying his friend curiously, who looked to be in a daze.

Steve was about a head shorter than Bucky, and with their close proximity Steve had to crane his neck to look up at his friend. Bucky's eyes were glassy and he had a slight smirk on his face. He was looking ahead at a group of girls who were from their school. They were giggling and looking right back at Bucky. Steve felt something inside of him shift. There was this sort of fury building up inside of him, and he didn't know why.

"Bucky!" Steve said again, louder this time.

"Steve," Bucky said, and suddenly he was frowning.

"What's wrong?" Steve said, concern across his delicate features.

Bucky looked down, his eyes trained on a sole speck of dirt on the floor. Steve didn't know what could've brought Bucky from such a daze to a sudden state of sadness. Bucky looked sad and distant. Steve wanted, needed to know why Bucky suddenly seemed so morose. He wanted to help him.

"Buck, please," Steve tried again. "I know something's wrong. Don't even try lying to me."

"It's nothing." Steve have him a stern look. "Actually, it's something. How about we get food right now? I'll tell you later, I promise."

Still holding onto Steve's hand, Bucky pulled him along toward the food court.  Because it was after lunch time it was  much less packed, which the two were both immensely grateful for, neither liking huge crowds much.

Still, they were getting strange stares. Neither could ignore the fact that they were holding hands anymore, nor could they be completely oblivious to the fact that it was considered 'unnatural'. Steve didn't care; he wanted to forget the world and get lost in the softness and warmth of Bucky's hand that reminded him he was home. It was a comfort he turned to time and time again. For Bucky, he worried that if he let go of Steve somehow he'd get lost. He didn't want to lose his Stevie. Ever. Perhaps Bucky wasn't feeling the same things as Steve, but he cared for Steve just as much.

"What would you like?" Bucky asked, pulling Steve from his reverie.

"Uh. . ." Steve was suddenly feeling nervous, and he couldn't pinpoint why. This was just Bucky. What did he have to be nervous about?

"Steve? What's wrong?" It was Bucky's turn to ask. He shared the same concern in his eyes that Steve had had earlier.

"Nothing," Steve said with as much certainty that he could muster. Bucky didn't look too convinced, but let it go, currently too caught up in his own issues.

Steve looked around at all the fast food places clustered together. Arby's, Taco Bell, New York Fries, Burger King, plus a few others. If he was being honest, he wanted none of it. He was worried for Bucky, which seemed to take away his appetite. Something was clearly upsetting him, and because Bucky was upset, so was Steve.