Only a Memory | Bucky Barnes

Chapter 14: New Year, New Steve

"Hey," Natasha said, coming over to Bucky with Clint at her side. "Why didn't you come to Tony's party?"

Bucky shrugged. He didn't really feel like talking to her at that moment. Or to anyone, for that matter. It was the first day back at school, which was self-explanatory.

"C'mon," Nat said. Bucky looked to Clint for some help, but he only shrugged helplessly. "Even Bruce was there. And you know Bruce hates parties."

"Bruce went to that Halloween party," Bucky pointed out.

"Ah, well. My point is, you should have come."

In truth, parties weren't exactly Bucky's thing. They could be, depending on who was there and where it was. However, any party that ever took place with his friends was always at Tony's house which meant there was going to be a shit ton of people there. Majority being people he had never seen before.

There was that, and the fact that Steve and Peggy would be there together. Bucky knew he was probably making a bigger deal out of it than he should, but things were just going so good with Steve lately, and he was afraid by seeing the couple together, it was all go down the toilet. It was bound to happen now that school started again, but Bucky just wanted to preserve whatever they had for as long as possible.

"Maybe I was sick," Bucky said. It was clear Natasha didn't believe him one bit. "Why do you care so much if I was there?"

"I don't," Natasha said. "But Steve was driving my crazy all night, asking where you were. I told him to ask your other friends, but to no avail. That man is determined. And stubborn."

Steve had left him plenty of missed calls and messages, all of which Bucky had ignored. Maybe Bucky was a little stubborn, too. His mind was set on not going to that party, so he didn't go. He didn't see why so many people were concerned whether he did. Steve had Peggy there, after all.

"I just didn't want to go," Bucky finally admitted. "Okay?"

"Well, next time tell Steve that." Nat turned on her heel and stalked off. Clint sent Bucky one last apologetic look before following her.

And speaking of Steve, Bucky could see him in the distance walking down the hall with Tony and Pepper. Pepper. Maybe the two had gotten back together. Or they really were just going to be friends now, but Bucky doubted that. But Tony's love life that the least of his concerns.

Bucky had this premonition — just this bad feeling that things weren't going to go well. Maybe it was the way that Steve was blatantly avoiding looking Bucky's way, or just his intuition, but Bucky could already feel the dread spreading all the way down to his toes, rolling like a wave.

"Steve!" Bicky called out. He saw Steve's head turn back in acknowledgment, but other than that, Steve just ignored Bucky.

It was always bound to happen, he supposed. Did he really expect things to go back to the way they were, when they were kids? Regardless of whether or not Steve wanted to be his friend, it could just never be the same when Bucky's feelings for Steve were this ever persistent thing on the forefront of his mind. This thing that made his heart skip a beat and his stomach flutter. No matter how much Bucky tried to ignore it, he just couldn't.

"Steve!" Bucky tried again. "I know you're ignoring me. . . You're not the half deaf one."

And finally, Steve said something to Tony and Pepper and then doubled back to meet Bucky. His expression was unreadable, though it was obvious that Steve did not want to be there.

"What is it, Bucky?" Steve asked, staring at some spot on Bucky's forehead.

"That's what I should be asking you," Bucky said. "What's going on?"