Only a Memory | Bucky Barnes

Chapter 22: A Slight Dilemma

Bucky and Steve didn't go home that night.

After their make out session, they had put their clothes back on and huddled up together for warmth. Bucky was a little regretful that it wasn't anything more than kissing, though he supposed for their first time he didn't exactly envision it to happen at a field in the middle of nowhere.

It was probably a good thing. They had only just gotten together a little while ago, after all.

All in all, it was a good thing that Bucky enjoyed his night out with Steve. He needed it, when after all the events following his returning home would not be as pleasant. He would not be prepared. No, not in the slightest.

When Bucky pulled up in the driveway it was like he just knew. There was something dreary surrounding his house, and though he didn't know exactly what was coming, he could suspect that it was nothing good.

It seemed like in Bucky's life it was just one bad thing after another, and he could never get a break.

Having to move away. It actually not being so bad, until the whole issue with his arm and Pierce. Steve going out with Peggy. His sister.

Bucky wasn't even sure anymore what else could happen with his sister. He wanted her to get over whatever she was dealing with, but instead of it getting better it only got worse. Bucky knew the saying, about how sometimes things had to get worse before they could get better; he just didn't know how much more Rebecca could take.

When Bucky stepped into the house the first thing he noticed was that Rebecca wasn't around. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. He had expected yelling yet again, but instead he got silence. At first, he didn't notice his parents, but there they were, both sitting together on the couch and wearing solemn expressions.

As always, Bucky's mind came up with the worst possible scenarios that he wouldn't dare put into words. Thankfully, what his parents said next didn't match his worst thoughts. Still, it didn't make it any easier to hear.

"I'm just going to say it," George started. At first, Bucky was startled that it wasn't Winifred who did the talking, as it usually was. However, she looked too distressed and upset to even say a word. Bucky's heart broke for her, and for the fact that he knew something was adherently wrong.

"We're thinking of moving back to Russia," George finished.

Bucky was too surprised to feel much of anything other than shock. He just stared back at them, stunned. After he collected his thoughts again, he waited for them to explain, but they did not.

"Why?" Bucky asked. It was all he could manage.

George stepped forward, putting a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "It's just not working out."

"For who?" Bucky couldn't help the little bit of bitterness that slipped into his voice. He knew exactly who they were talking about, and he did understand. The thing was, he had made a life for himself here.

"I know that you and Steve—"

"Please, stop," Bucky interrupted. "Just stop."

It wasn't just about Steve. Sure, that was a part of it. But he had friends here. Here, in New York, was the only place that Bucky felt like he could be himself. He wasn't ready to just start over again. Sure, he had friends in Russia too, but he didn't know if they'd be there for him if he came back.

"Bucky!" George said, already losing patience. "You have to understand."

"I do," Bucky said. "We all know that Rebecca crashed that car on purpose. I'll do this for her, but—"

"You wish things were different," Winifred finished for him from where she was sitting on the couch. "We all do. We would never wish this on our daughter. We just want her to be happy."

Bucky wanted to ask, what about my happiness? But he felt guilty. This should be a good thing, right? He needed to do this for his sister. Her problems, admittedly, were more serious than his. He knew that in the end he'd never fight his parents on this.

"I do too," Bucky said. "You guys said that you were thinking about it, but you seem pretty sure."

"Well," George hesitated.

"We are sure," Winifred said, unafraid to beat around the bush. Previously, she seemed unwilling to even say a word.

"But here's the thing, you don't have to go," George said.

"What?" Bucky exclaimed. He had to go. For his sister. This whole situation was making his head hurt, but that much he knew.

"We're hoping that most of her issues will be solved when she's back at home," Winifred said. "Her home. I already talked to Sarah, and she says it's okay if you stay at her place."

"No," Bucky said it with such force that Winifred was taken aback. "Are you serious? I want to be there for her!"

She sighed. "It was just an idea. I just— I thought that you wouldn't have wanted to go. Just, think about it. . .okay?"

There wasn't any thinking to be done, but Bucky nodded. It seemed like their discussion was over, because George got up to continue making dinner, and Winifred soon followed.

Bucky was left alone to wallow in his thoughts. Just when you things were starting to look up, they had to fall apart again. He didn't blame his sister. He would've done anything to help her out, he just wished that it wasn't this.

He was left in a state of numbness for the rest of the day. He thought of ways to tell Steve, but there were no good options. They had finally gotten over themselves and gotten together, and now Bucky was going to move away. Bucky had always expected Steve would be the one to go away for school and break them apart, and still suspected he might, but Bucky just didn't think that things were going to end so quickly. He wasn't sure when they'd be moving, but this seemed to be an extreme case of 'the sooner the better'.

Bucky had to tell Steve soon.

He just hoped that Sarah hadn't mentioned it yet, and the prospect of Bucky staying at their place. Bucky didn't want to get Steve's hopes up.

He would be moving to Russia, thousands of miles apart, and that was that.

**

A/n: sorry for the really short chapter, but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. School for me starts next week and between homework, studying and work I'm going to be pretty busy. I just thought I'd get out another update before the craziness starts, even if it is short one. With any luck, I'll have the next chapter posted before next school starts as well.

I'm really struggling with how I want this story to end. I'm a stickler for happy endings, so we'll see. . . I'm curious on how you guys want this story to end. I feel like there's no way to win for everyone, considering Bucky's situation.

Thank you for 20k!!! (Okay I don't have it yet. . .200 reads away but this is like an early thanks because I don't know for sure when I'll update again???)

Is it annoying that I do authors notes after every chapter and does anyone actually read them? They're always especially long. Opps. . .