Only a Memory | Bucky Barnes

Chapter 6: Steggy?

Bucky never did talk to Stacy. How could he tell someone that he wasn't a monster when he didn't even believe it himself? It was like trying to convince someone to be a vegetarian while eating fried chicken.

The rumours weren't so bad. He figured that Natasha had something to do with that.

Natasha had come over to his house again the second and last day of his suspension. They talked again for some time, though this time nothing about Bucky's incident. The conversation had drifted to Steve a few times, to which Bucky was quick to change the subject. Natasha didn't fail to notice this, of course. She suspected a greater truth that Bucky hadn't even realized himself.

He still got a few stares as he walked through the halls, though he could deal with that. It wasn't much more than he was used to, anyhow. Most of the time he had at least one of his friends at his side, and whether it was Pietro giving a snide remark or Peggy's malicious glare, something started to make people avoid Bucky altogether. He wasn't sure if it was better or worse.

It was that, and new rumours going around that had made people forget all about Bucky and Alexander Pierce after only a week. Rumours were like wildfire in Brooklyn. Surprisingly, even Winifred had heard of this one. Albeit, Bucky was almost sure it was because Rebecca had told her.

"So, I hear Steve and some girl named Peggy are dating," Winifred had said one day while they were eating dinner. Bucky gave Rebecca a look that could kill. She smiled innocently back at him.

"Those are just rumours, Ma," Rebecca said, painfully aware of Bucky who had his fork held back, loaded with mashed potatoes as if it were a catapult. Winifred didn't seem to notice this, though Bucky swore he saw George winking at him.

Winifred turned to Bucky. "What do you think?"

Bucky shrugged. "I think that I don't really care, either way."

As he said it, he knew that it was a lie. He didn't know why he cared at all, but he did. He supposed it must have had something to do with the fact that Peggy was his friend, and he didn't want Steve to take that away from him. Or perhaps it was that Peggy hadn't said anything to confirm or deny the rumours yet. Yes, that must have been it. Peggy usually told him everything. She had begun to open up about her crush on Steve, so it was rather surprising that she wouldn't say anything about this. If they were actually together, she would've been super excited and would've wanted to tell Bucky about it right away.

So Bucky came to the conclusion that they must not have been together. What was that feeling? Was it hope? About what? He shouldn't have cared. He didn't.

"I didn't realize that mashed potatoes were so fascinating," Rebecca said, snapping Bucky out of his reverie.

Bucky set his fork down. Suddenly, he didn't have an appetite at all, when moments before he was starving. There was a sick feeling at the pit of his stomach. It was like his heart knew exactly why he was bothered by the idea of Steve and Peggy being together, but his brain refused to accept it.

"I was just thinking," he said finally.

"About Steve?" Winifred asked. Rebecca snickered. It was one thing for his sister to tease him about Steve, but for his own mother? He needed to get out of there.

"May I be excused?" Bucky stood up, not waiting for an answer.

"But you've hardly eaten anything," George said.

Bucky ignored him. He pushed his chair in before stomping up the stairs to his room. Of course, at the time he was only making this worse for himself. If his family didn't suspect anything before, they definitely did now.