Only a Memory | Bucky Barnes

Chapter 28: Coming to a Close

Last chapter

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It was during this time that everyone in Bucky's year was getting accepted into colleges. There was a buzz of excitement in the air from everyone who did get accepted, and then there were people like Steve and Bucky, who got rejected or never replied in the first place.

"I didn't really want to go anyways," Steve had said. "I was having second thoughts."

Though the two had decided together to take a gap year, it wasn't entirely for the reasons everyone believed it was for. Winifred had known all along that Bucky wasn't ready, but George, however, was quick to blame Steve.

"It's that Steve Rogers, I'm telling you," he said.

Other than the sound of scraping forks it was entirely silent after his statement. Winifred did glare across the table at her husband, but it was almost like a small part of her agreed with him.

It did look quite suspicious, considering Steve really was set on college. In fact, Bucky couldn't even exactly prove that Steve wasn't in the least bit swayed in his decision making to stay behind with Bucky. Bucky, of course, hoped that it wasn't the case, but he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't glad for the extra year to spend time with his boyfriend.

"I started talking to this girl at school," Rebecca said, taking the attention away from Bucky. "Apparently, she was almost going through the same thing as me. Her name's Lana."

It had been nearly a month since Stacy was expelled. Things with Rebecca were slowly improving, though she still refused to see a therapist. Winifred and George did all they could under the circumstances, and they both knew that over time Rebecca could get better without a therapist as long as she had support from family. The results had already shown and were continuing to do so.

"That's great," Winifred said. She was keeping a calm composure, but Bucky could see that she was practically bursting at the seams. It was something like this that Winifred was hoping for. She could only do so much for her daughter, but it wasn't like she could go to school with her.

"Yeah," Rebecca said, a small smile growing on her face. "I forgot what it was like to have friends."

Everyone else at the table was slightly perturbed by this, but it was hard to stay that way for long when Rebecca said it in such a lighthearted way. She looked genuinely happy, for once.

"You take them for granted," she continued on, as if no one were really there at all. She was looking at her plate of food that now only contained crumbs, the last evidence of a tasty egg fried rice. "I just didn't know how much it all meant to me until I didn't have it."

Bucky felt that way with Derek, and he was sure that they all did. It wasn't as if they ever really could wrap their brains around the idea of Derek suddenly being gone, and even when it did happen to took forever for Bucky to even believe that it actually did happen.

"I know," Bucky said. "I get it. It's crazy how much we never think about how lucky we all are to have two arms."

He didn't mean for it to sound humorous, but yet it did and everyone was laughing. Bucky had to look down to where his metal hand was peaking out of his hoodie. He flexed it, once, twice, and for the first time in forever he thought that it was kind of actually cool. This bionic thing about him made him unique. He was certain that no one else could say they had a metal, and were practically a cyborg.

Though he didn't like the way it had happened, he supposed that he had to just accept that this was who he was.

He wasn't a monster.