LOVE IN HIGH SCHOOL

chapter 21

Ryan's POV

Brendon is totally forgetting me. Well, i guess i should do the same. I know i should, but i couldn't. It was so hard for me. I didn't do much that night, i tried to read a book tried to avoid the memories about brendon in my head.

But it wasn't easy. I played a music as loud as i could. I tried to close my eyes and took a deep breath. I still couldn't forget him and the fact that i saw him kissing another guy.

And suddenly, my tears couldn't be handled and yeah, i cried. I let the music drowned me and hided my crying, so my mom didn't hear it. Beside, my room was on top, so i didn't worry that much.

Suddenly, i could hear someone knocking on my door. I got up and opened the door and found Spencer standing there in front of me.

"Spencer?" I was suprised when i Saw him standing.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked me.

"Fine, thanks.. come in." I responded and welcomed him into my room.

"How are you?" I continued to ask.

"I'm cool. I couldn't find you at school so, i come here." Spencer explained.

"Well, i kind of busy these few days." I said. Then, something came to my mind. Spencer came here without call me first. I mean, he never did that before. He must be came for a reason.

"What brought you here? I mean, you always call if you want to come in, or just for check on me." I asked him.

"I just wanna make sure you're okay, Ryan." Spencer said.

"Are you sure?" I asked him to make sure he doesn't hide anything from me. Spencer looked up at me and took his deep breath.

"What exactly is the problem between you and Brendon?" Spencer suprised me with his question. I know he is a best friend of mine and brendon's and he's support Brendon and I, but it was out of my expectation from the reason he came to me.

"He doesn't like me being close to any girls." I eventually explained and told him the truth.

"What?" Spencer seemed shocked when i told him.

"He doesn't believe me that i only loved him. And maybe never believe me that i still love him even we're not together anymore." It was all just came out of my mouth, And it was true.

I couldn't explain how broken i was when i Saw him making out with another guy with my own eyes. I couldn't even describe what it felt like.

"Ryan, this is all misunderstanding. You can explain to him. I'll help you." Spencer offered. I wasn't sure of that was a good idea. I mean, Brendon probably with his new crush right now.

"No, Spencer. It's useless. I Saw him making out with someone yesterday and i think he might be with him now." I mumbled and look at the ground.

"If you don't mind, let me talk to him. I'll try to explain. I know you love him so much, i can see that. And he broke you up for a stupid reason. You both are my best friends and i want you both are okay with each other." He explained and i actually wanted that way.

Brendon and I don't have to back together like we used to be. I just wanted him to understand my point, and i promise i'll never bother him and his new romance. I can just keep my feelings about him for my self and learn to let it go, but not in this way.

~

School was boring that day. I lost my concentration again and wonder if Spencer already talked to Brendon? I was too curious about it all.

When the class was over, i was looking for Spencer in the cafetaria. He usually there with others.

"Hey, Have you seen Spencer?" I asked anyone of them.

"I was in the history class with him. He said he wanted to do something." Andy said. Maybe he was talking to Brendon right now.

"What's up, Ryan." Vic asked me.

"Good, thanks. You?" I responded as i asked him back.

"I'm glad to heard that, bro. I'm Good, thanks." Vic said and smiled, i smiled back at him. Few minutes later, Spencer came.

"Ryan." He called my name when he got there.

"Hey, i was looking for you." I said. Spencer looked upset though.

"Can i talked to you for a second?" He asked and stepped to the corner, i followed him.

"Spence, what happened?" I asked him.

"You're my very best friend. I'm so sorry if i'm disturbing you or something. I know it's not my business, but i just want to help." He tried to explained. I was confused.

"Spencer, i don't understand." I asked him again with confuseness.

"I talked to Brendon, but he yelled at me and said that it wasn't my business." He said and i was suprised.

"My best suggestion for you is get over him. And i'm sorry i didn't listen to you last night. You're right. It's uselless." Spencer said.

I got angry. Why does Brendon not even want to be friend? I walked out of the cafetaria and ignored anyone who called me back  And i Saw Brendon in the coridor with his new crush. I don't give a shit.

"Brendon! You're really, completely lost your mind. Spencer never meant to disturb you and your crush!! You have to know that you are selfish and all he wanted to say is you broke me up for a STUPID REASON FOR GOD FUCKING SAKE!!! You were my boyfriend!! You were the one who was supposed to believe me! I was too calm to handle your emotions, Brendon! I WAS THE ONE WHO DESERVE TO BREAK THIS UP! You never tried to understand me even once, Brendon! You were demanding because you never trust me, Brendon! And you are too selfish to admit it!" I snapped and left them.

I told anything that used to disturbing my mind. I didn't even care everyone was watching us.
I was not got a change to spoke all of that when he broke me up. And i was glad i can let that out of my head now.